Mother’s Day expectations

[Newyorklady]

Hi all,
What are your expectations for Mothers Day ?
I have sons and not daughters so expectations have never been high. As long as they get me a card etc and maybe small gift that’s fine.
My own mother is very different and always felt a level of expectation. Meal out, or meal cooked for her nice gifts, fuss made.
Mothers day has never been about me (even though I’m a Mum) it’s always been about her and what she wants. Me sorting the day for her. I’ve never had the day for just myself with my own kids.
I sound mean I know but she’s not been the easiest over the years and I have just taken her away for a weeks holiday at my expense yet the expectation is still high for me to deliver.
How do your Mothers days look ? What are your expectations.

Zero. Not because my family don’t give a shit and I therefore expect nothing, but because genuinely I think it’s utter nonsense. A brew brought to me while I’m doing my marking is literally all I want. I’m taking some biscuits and a card to my dm but again, she’s annoyed I’m bothering because I get my Mother’s Day apathy from her.

I feel loved by my dc every single day, even when they are being stroppy teenagers. I don’t need some pink token to tell me this.

My lovely ds is very thoughtful and has always put lots of thoughts into card and gift giving. Dh helped him when he was younger but he has now sorted it independently since he was about 13. He has a heavy weekend as it is dh's birthday today! I always get hugs on a daily basis (19)and he regularly shows appreciation with little gifts, taking me for lunch. He's very kind and loving. Tomorrow I will go to see my amazing mum, make her a cuppa, take cakes with a gift and card and ds will come along with a card and little gift for mum.

@DisplayPurposesOnly You need to peel it back whether dm likes it or not. Drop in a different day with card and flowers, then have your Mother's Day on the day. I'm seeing my dm today.

Edited to say, card in post, you've just been on holiday!

I just like acknowledgement so I've reminded the teens it's mother's day on Sunday, don't forget my card - and they know a homemade one from a cornflake box will do as it's absolutely not about spending money.

I'll get my mother a card and £4 supermarket flowers and call in, she absolutely never expects but I like to do it.

MIL is a bit more expectant but she also gets a card and flowers and we call in, and she's happy, I think seeing the family together makes her realise that is what it's all about, not meals out and gifts.

A homemade card from youngest who is in primary school. Ds1 is working now so he might buy me a card and get the other dc to sign it. Token gift organised by dh.

I will give my mum a card and small gift and dh will do the same with his mum.

My sensory avoiding ds2 will give me a hug which I look forward to all year.

Just home from cemeteries....mum and mum in law both passed away years ago....had flowers and cats from one child during the week....nothing from my other children or grandchildren....I have no expectations and anything I do have is a bonus. X

I used to grit my teeth, and go all out for my mum as it was important to her. So she'd get card, flowers, gifts and a meal out. I think she liked the bragging rights.

I dislike everything to do with Mothers Day and right from when they were babies, I made it clear to my husband that nothing should be shop bought.

If they wanted to make cards, that was fine, but I feel that if you care enough for your mum, you'd be doing little things for her throughout the year, and not just a big gesture on one day.

So my expectations have always been minimal - plenty of cups of tea throughout the day, and a collectively produced meal. As they grew up, a visit would be nice, but I'd not sulk if they were busy.

That said, I am currently sitting in the hairdressers having a ruinously expensive Keratin straightening treatment, courtesy of my children.

We're all going out fir dinner tomorrow, but that's really for a birthday celebration.

Cards and small gifts or flowers from my children. My husband can cook the tea for a change. I'm happy with that.

I have grown-up DDs in their 20s who still live at home. I would expect a card and flowers, not a gift, and no great fuss.

Single parent so zero expectations! We are going school uniform shopping tomorrow morning then housework in the afternoon for me.
My mum died years ago so I did flowers , lunch, gifts etc for her in the past. Unfortunately the wider family have never clocked that I’m a mum too 🤷‍♀️

the only expectation I have is cappuccino in bed - I tell DH and DDs every year not to get me anything but they always do. Usually perfume or chocolates.

Tomorrow we are going for a Carvery after a lovely walk - not necessarily just because it’s Motner’s Day though. We’re also making a fuss of DDs as they both got excellent school reports yesterday.

I’m a single mum and have been since they were very young so there was nobody to show them what to do in the early days so it’s been more of a pleasant surprise as they’ve gotten older and do bother. I have different expectations of them because of who they are not their gender. DS (22) text me from the uni to say he hadn’t forgotten Mother’s Day but not to expect anything from him on the day as he’s skint but he’ll get me something when he’s home in the holidays and working. This is probably the first truly independent interaction he’s had with me about Mother’s Day ever as previously DD would remind him or make him do something when he was home.

DD will do something and she’s already said we will get a takeaway for tea tomorrow as I’m working all day.

I do think MD has been over hyped in recent years

Why zero expectation from your dc? Let them know now that you'd appreciate them putting the effort in.

My parents are away this weekend so won't see DM tomorrow. MD has never been a big event in our family, my siblings and I always buy a card and gift and take it round on the day (when she's home), but no elaborate lunches or outings. I have 2 very young DC but DH always buys a card and gifts for them to give me, usually flowers, chocs, candle, a spa voucher, etc. When my 2 are old enough to mark the occasion themselves, all I'll expect is acknowledgement in same shape or form.

I personally don’t understand the mums who expect a big fuss, expensive meal etc, it’s not money spent I appreciate but the effort.

My husband usually helps my son pick me out a couple of books but I’ve just been in Asda with my son, he asked me if he could choose something in the bakery section, he then carried a pack of croissants around the whole shop behind his back and asked me to turn away at the self checkout so he could keep them a surprise for tomorrow. That meant more to me than any present could.

Not really any expectations. Dd1 is 150 miles away at uni so will probably get a card, maybe a Costa voucher or something & a lovely message. Dd2 (16) will probably give me a card & has offered to bake me something. I'll try & milk the day a bit though so will ask her to do some housework & make me endless cups of tea. We're also probably going to take a drive out to one of our fave places & go for a walk. My own mum died many years ago & MIL is no longer around either so really the day should be about me, me and me 🤣

That's really cute 😍

It’s interesting isn’t it!
For context, I’m 35 and pregnant with my first baby, mum is 61 and widowed grandma is 82.

Mothers Day in our family has always revolves around grandma a bit. She’s the matriarch of the family with four children (out of the four, only my mum has married and had children). And we always do what she suggests. My dad and uncle (mums brother) don’t get on that well, but grandma insists the whole family goes out for lunch, and it just often feels very “her” cantered. When my brother and I were younger, we always made a fuss of our mum with flowers and gifts and breakfast in bed, before the big family lunch.

Im interested to see what it will be like next year when I’m a new mum. Will I still be expected to do the two hour round trip to the family home for my grandmas special Mother’s Day lunch out? Or will it be a little bit more about me, and a fuss made of me? Who knows!

I don’t really have high expectations apart from not having to cook or do any housework on Mother’s Day. My DH will make a nice breakfast with my DS age 14 and I’ll get some small gifts but I’d be happy with just a card TBH. I don’t want to go out for lunch or dinner as it feels a bit ‘fake’ and forced IMO.
You sound resentful of your DM OP so I’m sure there’s a back story there. I presume you are an adult and can say ‘no’ to your DM. No one forced you to take a week’s annual leave to go away with her. I get on ok with my DM but there’s no way I’d go on holiday with her for a week-she’d drive me crazy.
I sometimes see my DM on Mother’s Day but sometimes just see her before or after it. It’s not a big issue.

Home made cards here. They’ve been out today and bought lovely cakes for us to have for an afternoon tea at home tomorrow.
Im happy with that.

I feel spoilt for once this year. Normally I get a card from DD age 18 and DS 16 and chocolates if I'm lucky.
This year I got a bouquet delivered today and we're going to see DD in london tomorrow as she's just finished term at uni. She has booked tickets for a concert in royal festival Hall which should be good.
My DM died 2 and a half years ago, so mother's day is sad for that reason.
The Pandora advert is annoying (though the kids in it are cute!), I certainly wouldn't think less of my kids if they didn't get me a heart charm!
I will make the most of this year anyway, makes a change to be spoilt.

I think for you, it evokes thoughts of your DM expectations, which are manipulative imo
i tell my 3 adult sons I am their DM everyday and don’t need thanks
However I’ve just had a Moonpig delivery probably DS2, so as it matters to them, ill
happily accept

First Mothers Day here. I’ve asked for the Sunday Paper and time to read it on the day, as that hasn’t happened since DS was born. I suspect DH has more up his sleeve but I’ll be happy with a card and the paper!

I expect a fuss made of me! But I do make an equal fuss of fathers day.
I don't expect a red carpet spend a fortune mariachi band type thing but I expect a card a thoughtful (token) gift a little outting whether this is to the city for a nice cafe or meal that's had some thought or a walk somewhere we particularly enjoy local but I expect my husband to put the thought into it.
As my little girl gets older I'm planning on it evolving to a day of me and her and doing something we enjoy together whatever that ends up being.

You shouldn't have any expectations.