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Original poster

Ever asked anyone if they were sure about getting married?

50 replies

BigDahliaFan · 27/03/2025 16:37

My brother asked me, we are orphans, he didn't really know my fiancé, and said he just kind of thought someone should ask? I've now been married 12 years and fiancé and brother get on fine.

My husband wishes he'd asked his brother if he was sure. First time his brother got married, she left him with a bunch of debts after 2 years, moved country, and was never really heard from again. And his brother isn't that bad.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 27/03/2025 16:43

I ask everyone I know really well. I want them to know that if they don’t want to go through with it they don’t have to. I have done everything since I had to deal with the last minute cancellation of my brother’s wedding (on the morning) because he hadn’t been able to say anything sooner.

Sifflet · 27/03/2025 16:47

CurlewKate · 27/03/2025 16:43

I ask everyone I know really well. I want them to know that if they don’t want to go through with it they don’t have to. I have done everything since I had to deal with the last minute cancellation of my brother’s wedding (on the morning) because he hadn’t been able to say anything sooner.

This, but in my case it was a friend, and three weeks before. But took ages to phone around (pre mobiles, texts, the internet).

Sifflet · 27/03/2025 16:47

And my closest friend asked me.

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 27/03/2025 16:47

Yes, my brother. He said he was sure. They were getting a divorce within a year.

Freedompassed · 27/03/2025 16:50

Yes, my DB. He said he was absolutely certain. It lasted 2 more years after they'd been together five already. She was lovely.

LuckyMoonstone · 27/03/2025 17:00

Yes I asked my friend because she didn’t seem happy. She called off the wedding not long after our conversation

FidosMum84 · 27/03/2025 17:08

Yes my Dad asked me on my wedding day. He said if I wasn’t sure I didn’t have to do it and he’d sort everything out. I said I was sure. But in hindsight I should have taken him up on his offer!

Dearg · 27/03/2025 17:12

Yes. A dear friend. I actually reminded her that she didn’t need to go through with it about 3 days before the wedding.

One year later he put her face through a tv. Still took her 3 more years to leave him.

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 17:15

The chauffeur asked me on the way to the church. He said he always did it in case no one else had and he was an uninvested party! I’ve been married 29 years this year.

Sifflet · 27/03/2025 18:10

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 17:15

The chauffeur asked me on the way to the church. He said he always did it in case no one else had and he was an uninvested party! I’ve been married 29 years this year.

And did he say whether any bride ever said ‘You’re dead right! Quick, do a U-turn!’?

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 18:29

Sifflet · 27/03/2025 18:10

And did he say whether any bride ever said ‘You’re dead right! Quick, do a U-turn!’?

Show quote history

I didn’t ask - I was quite taken aback 😂

Sifflet · 27/03/2025 18:31

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 18:29

I didn’t ask - I was quite taken aback 😂

Show quote history

I suppose the other obvious question is whether any insulted brides whacked him around the head from the back seat!

fourelementary · 27/03/2025 18:32

FidosMum84 · 27/03/2025 17:08

Yes my Dad asked me on my wedding day. He said if I wasn’t sure I didn’t have to do it and he’d sort everything out. I said I was sure. But in hindsight I should have taken him up on his offer!

Same!! (1st time round anyway!)

PopGoesBang · 27/03/2025 18:53

My dad did on the day. My mum had always said I never need to feel any pressure and my best friend checked with both of us that we were happy.
We had to make some quicker decisions to ensure all parents could be at the wedding and thankfully we were
both ok with that and we can look back and know we made the right decision. Timing wise and with each other!

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 27/03/2025 18:55

My Dad asked me on my wedding day, I wish I had told him the truth. I should never have got married, losing all the money would have been better than the shit I did get.

dijonketchup · 27/03/2025 18:59

Yes, one person asked me. The rest of my family supported me without saying anything. With hindsight I should have listened, at least to make sure certain issues were resolved pre- getting hitched. It really seems too late when all’s in motion but it’s in no way comparable to the “too late” when kids/property/shared finances are involved.

Tbrh · 27/03/2025 19:07

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 17:15

The chauffeur asked me on the way to the church. He said he always did it in case no one else had and he was an uninvested party! I’ve been married 29 years this year.

Gosh that's actually really sweet!

WilfredsPies · 27/03/2025 19:08

I sort of did with my best friend. I went a bit further with it though. She was very gracious about it but it made for a slightly uncomfortable wedding day.

I was bloody right though, and she’s now very happily divorced and remarried to the loveliest man.

B1indEye · 27/03/2025 19:10

Yes, with a friend and sadly it lead to a falling out even though the marriage was a total disaster and everyone could see what was going to happen

TidyDancer · 27/03/2025 19:14

Yes I did with my best friend. She knew it was wrong and had all but said so. She cried on the morning of the wedding (and not through nerves or excitement). It’s taken her a few years but they are now separated.

2becomeazoo · 27/03/2025 19:16

I asked my son 3 times. And he is happy as a piggy in the mud

Original poster
BigDahliaFan · 27/03/2025 19:17

choirmumoftwo · 27/03/2025 17:15

The chauffeur asked me on the way to the church. He said he always did it in case no one else had and he was an uninvested party! I’ve been married 29 years this year.

That’s sweet.

OP posts:
Lengokengo · 27/03/2025 19:23

I didn’t ask, but I did tell an acquaintance not to marry her fiancé. She said ‘I know what you mean.’ Since she was only a brief acquaintance so I never find out what happened after. He was a truly nasty piece of work.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/03/2025 19:27

A friend asked me, in fact reiterated that I didn’t have to go through with it. He was right. I didn’t speak to him for years. I was an idiot.

LauderSyme · 27/03/2025 19:34

No, I have never asked anyone. My sibling is unmarried and I felt it would be too presumptuous to ask my married friends, because although we were close we weren't bosom besties.

I did horrify a mutual friend of the bride and me once by asking him at the reception if he thought it would last. (I was not sober). He looked severely askance and told me it wasn't the time or the place. My gut feeling was right though; later the groom cheated and they divorced.