I do a thing which is quite counter-productive. When I'm doing something enjoyable if it gets even slightly complicated I just stop. I'm quite head on with things that have to be done, so I don't avoid all difficult things, it's just things that I like and don't benefit anyone else that I'm quick to give up on.
For example, years ago (pre Covid) when the DC were smaller there were evenings that everything was sorted, homework was done, everyone was fed, DH was home (often works long hours). Occasionally I would look up what was on in my local cinemas and if there was something I fancied I would just go by myself. I only needed 20-30 minutes to get there and get settled. I'd get a premium seat and just enjoy time by myself. I was talking to my family about a film I'd seen and my Mum asked who I had gone with, I said by myself. She said, "Oh, I'd like to do that. Let me know the next time you go and I'll go with you." But so many things, she and I never like the same films, it would take me an extra 25 mins to pick her up first and then go to the cinema, she doesn't like being out all that late. So my obvious choices were to explain those things to her or to just go and never mention it to her. What I actually did was never look up what was on in the cinema again, it wasn't a conscious decision just something that stopped.
So, the reason that I'm addressing this now is that I was away at a quilt retreat last weekend. One of the organisers was trying to persuade me to enter some of my quilts into competitions. It's something that I have absolutely no interest in, and I always say that when people suggest it which is usually the end of the conversation. There is admin and the quilts have to be prepared in a certain way for hanging and there is always the danger of a quilt being lost or stolen, the judges give constructive criticism which I know will make me a bit anxious about the quality of future quilts and frankly I just can't be arsed with any of it, I just want to be soothed by sewing. However this time she asked if I like looking at other people's quilts, which is something I absolutely love and is a hobby of its own separate to actually doing quilting, much like buying fabric. 😁 Then she implied that if I like looking at other people's quilts then other people would like looking at my quilts, in fact there is a bit of a moral imperative to return the favour of other people showing their quilts. Usually I come back from a retreat inspired and do loads of quilting, but I've noticed today that I haven't even unpacked my sewing machine from its case. I keep telling myself that I'll do it first thing tomorrow, and then do a displacement activity instead. I'm a bit worried that it's the thought that I should share my quilts that's stopping me.
Last year I was making a quilt that was outside of my comfort zone, and every time I walking into my sewing room I would catch sight of it and think of something else that needed my attention. I didn't make anything much for about three or four months and was quite miserable about it. Then I packed that project away so that I couldn't see it and churned out three simple, cheerful quilt tops in about three weeks and really enjoyed myself.
Logically I know that one person's opinion about my quilting is irrelevant, but if I could find out what my behaviour is called then there is bound to be a ton of online advice about mental tricks to stop being blocked from what I enjoy.
Sorry, that was long.