Just hit me today actually how old I am

[Mancity08]

So I’m a 67 yr old woman

As the sun was shining this afternoon I picked a couple of plants up whilst out shopping today.
I made a brew and took myself outside to plant them.
last year I enjoyed doing the garden, would just go out and tinker about tidying it up mainly flower beds as dp woukd cut the grass.

so now to today, It was a chore ! My knees were burning feeling with bending down I had to sit on the grass. The soil is full of cement balls/stones and twigs from last year when we cut hedge down due to next door neighbour damaging about 2 foot of hedge and neighbour put fence in for the damaged hedge.
It felt so so much like hard work, hard soil(winter also) obviously I had to finish what I started and dp helped move the rubbish etc
but I’ve come in and Im literally too tired to make a tea and just feel completely scattered and really feel down. I know people say you should be grateful for your good health and what you have (I do have bad feet and it’s uncomfortable to walk) but I feel so defeated and deflated
I come to realise
In my head I think I can do. But
my body isn’t as capable

anyone else come to this conclusion?

I’m 40 and constantly aching/tired. Scared to think what I’ll be like if/when I get to 67. Sounds like you’re doing pretty well tbh.

Have a read of the spoon theory, OP.
or otherwise, keep an eye on your energy and pain ‘meters’.
I have some health conditions and went through a really rough time with them (and still have problems to be fair).
I know my limits now and while that means I might have to have a break because I’m either tired or in pain, it also means I can do things - just not in the time frame I’d like. It’s taken me three weekends to pressure wash things that needed it in my back garden. In the past I could have done most of it in a day. But, at least I can still do it, just slowly!
(I’m younger than you BTW, but with respect, don’t feel it!)

Mind over matter everyone! Force yourself to feel great because we won't be able to retire until we are 105. 👀(light hearted)

I'm 59, need to excercise more as work full time desk 'ish bound. Remembered my absolute love of step classes in my 20's....Amazon to the rescue, Step ordered, delivery tomorrow and seen lots of You Tube Step classes to follow...wish me luck 😊

Your dad is a man and so has not had the effects of menopause on his joints

Assuming if your dad is 72 you are probably in your 40s? Maybe come back in a few years time and reassess what is ‘normal’ for someone in their 60s. Brilliant for your dad that he is doing so well though.

I'm 55 this year, and I've had arthritis in my hip for about 6 years now, it's getting worse, and I had to buy a stick for when it's really bad, although I mostly refuse to use it. I also have tendonitis which I do exercises for from the physio that nearly kill me! However - I still go raving 2 or 3 times a year, and am absolutely dreading having to stop that. That will really make me feel old!

Exactly this. Menopause has really taken its toll on me with joint pain. Bastard.

I'm 73 and am still pretty active, I volunteer .3 times a week and walk the dogs, shop, socialise, dance etc. but I do have to pace myself a bit more and I've learnt that sometimes good enough is good enough.

not among my friends - I'm 70 - spent today walking the dogs then clearing out huge boxes of "Stuff" from a garden shed, joked with DD about not needing to go to the gym to "do weights" then put a whole load of stuff up in the loft. Finally sat down about 6pm but was busy all day before that.

I have older friends who DO go to the gym, regularly go on long hikes and are even more active than me.

"use it or lose it" really is true when it comes to being active as you age.

My MIL who died last year at 104 said to me that " old age had nothing to recommend it" After a day of looking after my 2 delightful grandchildren, l at a mere 69, am beginning to agree with her

Pollyanna to the rescue. Or smack me in the face for being Pollyanna - seriously, it annoys me at times, but it helps get through.

Last year you could still do it and now it's more difficult, but you managed some without it all being a complete chore even though more of it was than wasn't? That's something to focus on and look up the sort of tools they have these days that help with the aches and pains and the how do I do this without feeling like my knees will pop out and run across the garden laughing at me.

If you can afford it, and I know that's a big if (I wouldn't be able to) see if there's an older chap about who's happy to do a bit of the hard work for not too much money so that you can have the joy of your garden with more of the difficult stuff taken off your back. If it becomes nothing but a chore then you've lost all the pleasure. And that's another thing. Get some help with maybe raised beds, pots, etc, all manner of small changes that bring the joy back again. I've just read properly and you have a man who can. Get him to do a bit more of the hard can for you and enjoy the buying, the having a cup of coffee and the sun on your face!

Mostly, what I do is focus on what I can still do not what's suddenly wandered off and isn't coming back. It sucks hard to lose that which was once at least easier but as long as we keep on doing the living thing it's going to happen, so appreciate what you have. I don't mean that in a "Don't complain, think yourself lucky!" at all but it's so easy for the small moments to pass without us appreciating them and I think that's what hurts us when we realise those small moments have passed. We bemoan them - of course we do - and then miss the others that are on their way through. I'm currently in a position when I'm losing quite a lot at the moment so I'm making the best of a bad hand. I "enjoyed" going to Morrison's on Sunday. Well, I say enjoyed, it was nice to be able to walk there and back and managing not to get too much shopping therefore making walking back without my granny trolley a right old pain in the hole. That probably won't last much longer but it is what it is. Today the sun was out and I got to wear my new varifocal sunglasses for the first time. I was in the car with another friend driving, in different sunnies and we had a Thelma and Louise moment although thankfully we didn't shoot a man in this winky, blow up a petrol stroke or drive off a cliff, so there was that!

Life is simple and complex and a pain and a joy. The simple and the joy can be fleeting but my lord they/it/whatever can be beautiful and at your lovely age of being a bit old(er) you have years of that ahead of you and years of growing wisdom that have brought you here. And, yeah. I think on scale I'd hit Pollyanna tonight but thank you for not doing that - you can give me an online one if it helps - and thank you for giving me the time to write something that means something to me. You'll ache tomorrow and that's fine. Epsom salts or some old lady cure (I'm going to be 60 on the 7th, so I'm not being a lairy bird calling you or me old(er)), hopefully more sun, more tea and a garden that the man who can gave a bit of a clear up for you because he loves your beautiful soul.

My nan is 92 now and used to love gardening. Its been awful for her to accept helpers in to tend to it for her. She had always been very hands on but did have to stop at about 70 odd. She would kneel down to tend to a rose bush and not be able to get back up. It is an awful realisation that the body doesn't connect with the mind. Just do what you can.

Yes, I understand how you feel. I'm 65, I regularly walk into town (2 miles) and last time I felt unusually hot and tired. I was forced to go for a cake and coffee to revive me!
It turned out I was brewing a cold so it's understandable how I felt but it did make me feel a bit miserable when I thought it was my age.

@thiswilloutme

Cancelthebreak
I’d say that your dad is unusual to be doing so much at his age

not among my friends - I'm 70 - spent today walking the dogs then clearing out huge boxes of "Stuff" from a garden shed, joked with DD about not needing to go to the gym to "do weights" then put a whole load of stuff up in the loft. Finally sat down about 6pm but was busy all day before that.

I have older friends who DO go to the gym, regularly go on long hikes and are even more active than me.

"use it or lose it" really is true when it comes to being active as you age.

Thank god @thiswilloutme I was reading these posts and feeling bleaker and bleaker.

I've just turned 60 and still play hockey and paddle ball every week, walk the dog 3-5 miles a day and gym at least 3-4 times a week.

Was beginning to think I'd age overnight! I still hope to be doing most of things in 10 years time! Well maybe not the hockey!

I realise I'm lucky with my health but I hope to be as active in 10-15 years time!

He's really not. My almost 72 year old friend could do all that, and at the moment I'm watching my 76 year old neighbour moving the last of the furniture out of their house which is sold. He owns a business and he and his wife, early 70s, work very hard at the full time job, which is physical.

I'm 60 very soon but I'm not feeling old yet though.
I'm still working full time. I cycle, swim, weight lifting, hike every week I've been doing reformer pilates 3x a week.
I go to gigs. I went to see Charles Mootheart in Leeds last night and going to see Absolva at Rebellion on Friday. We are going to see Dr Strangelove tomorrow.

I had a few niggles with the menopause but I'm over that so my only issue is I need reading glasses, no other aches, pains or twitches.

I know age will catch up with me at some point but until then, I'm here for a good time!

I’ve always been ‘age is just a number’ and I believed it until I hit 70 -70!!!! Such a shock, I’m old now 🙁. Luckily I’m in good health but still….

Agree, he's the unusual one here

I’m in my 20’s.

OP needs to get checked for deficiencies asap. My dad was the same at one point, exhausted after everything. He got on iron tablets and he’s a new person. For everyone saying it’s menopause, my mum is in her 60’s and does more now than she did when I was little and she’s fine too! It’s not normal to be living exhausted and down trodden everyday.

Oh heavens, yes. I’ve only just turned 60 but have several chronic illnesses, two of them potentially life-limiting. I have lost count of the number of events I have missed because of my health. I am also unable to travel very much due to fatigue and needing to be near a specialist centre.
It is heartbreaking, frustrating and depressing.

Well good for you.

And there’s a bit more to it than ‘use it or lose it.’ There are many, many people with chronic conditions that mean they don’t always get the opportunity to ‘use it.’

Rather than lecturing the rest of us, why don’t you take yourself off for one of your nice long hikes before sleeping easily on your comfortable bed of self satisfaction?

OP hasn’t mentioned any chronic conditions. It’s actually quite concerning that she’s this exhausted after some fairly light activity.

OP, have you got ongoing knee problems? If not, just wondering if it's a case of getting your body used to using different muscles and joints angles that we don't use so much in winter. Have to admit I tend to sit rather than go onto my knees as I've always found that more comfortable, so hope it doesn't get you down.

You mention you're exhausted, are you actually exhausted or is it due to aching muscles/joints after exercise? I ask this as I hurt my back (minor) at work on Monday, my whole back and upper legs feel uncomfortable and I've been feeling tired in myself - I'm sure it's all down to this. If you've become noticably exhausting might be worth asking GP for a blood test in case there's anything lacking in diet or needs addressing.

Exactly. It’s quite shocking that they poster has got to the age of 70 without realising that everyone isn’t the same, and if the whole of her friendship group are fighting fit at 70, they are extremely lucky.

And as for someone in their 20s having the nerve to pass judgement on someone she has never met based on her individual experience of her own parents - words fail me.