If you were starting from scratch in a totally new place...

[natura]

...what would you do to set up your life in the best way possible?

Asking for a friend, hypothetically, of course... 😉

You're post-breakup after a really stressful 18 months, moving to a completely new place where you'll be living alone with your dog, you know nobody at all in the area, feeling exhausted and emotionally drained, and needing to start a life from the bottom up.

Big things, small things, well-being things, practical things, timing things, sensible things, nice things...

How would you go about this? What would you do?

OP, thanks for updating! I think moving somewhere new can have a way of making you feel a bit lonely and vulnerable in the initial settling in period – I felt the same when my partner and I moved to the next city a couple of years ago – I remember sitting looking at our fireplace and outside onto the dark street and feeling just a bit alone in this new place where were still kind of ‘outsiders’. Moving is disorienting!

Take your time and be kind to yourself ❤️

Sounds like you’ve made some nice connections already :) Enjoy the gardening tomo – and the popcorn! 🙂

Thanks for the update. An emotional time but it sounds like there are positives there too.
nice that you’ve met people and are nurturing yourself.

You are doing amazing. Stop and consider all the things you have done, all you have achieved in getting to this new place. You got here, you did that.

Be patient with yourself...you are going to have great days and hard days and everything in between.

Yoga is supposed to be great for healing from trauma. Tune into your body. Do what makes you feel whole.

Best of luck

You're doing brilliantly. Take each day as it comes and let your dog look after you as I am sure he will.

It took me a while to sort of learn to feel emotions again after a big break up (a long time ago now). I had a toddler at the time and I used to put him in his buggy and walk ~25 minutes to the local Blockbuster and rent a film to watch. I think I was doing the same as you are doing with your podcasts. I wanted to hear people's stories and feel things which weren't my own feelings.

I moved my life away from my old life.

Find friends, get a hobby, join clubs. Immerse yourself in the local area so you love and know it, detach yourself from the old you. It was a long process for me but turned out to be the best thing I ever did

having done exactly this, and since you’ve had great advice from pp, I’d add two things-

1. recognise that it takes time. Ages in fact. So be patient with yourself and let things unfold at their own pace.
2. Let the emotion out. Any wa that suits - your therapist, speaking to friends,

…sorry cut myself off….

speaking to friends, through exercise, through having a good cry, whatever..

oh one more - expect a bumpy ride. Some days you’ll feel fine, some you’llfeeel shit. That is normal and ok. It will even out over time.

timewise it took me about three years. Good luck x

I moved to a different country a few times , once completely alone and you need to establish friendships and a network. Of course I made friends through work but I joined meet up groups and joined various classes in the area.

Just wanted to say well done on the move - it takes guts and although you may feel very fragile what you’ve achieved already is amazing. I came out of a long, emotionally abusive marriage and the protracted divorce and fall out stripped me bare but with time you slowly rediscover who you were and reshape yourself. I feel far less lonely now than I did in my marriage and home is now calm, happy and a peaceful refuge. There are wobbly days still but on good days it does feel very liberating on many levels. I will need to move too when the family house is sold and my kids are of age, so will likely be following in your footsteps and taking the plunge to start over in a new chapter. It is exciting, self affirming and importantly we can chase the peace and contentedness we deserve without obligations to a partner. Good luck to you - you sound like a glass half full kind of person and with time it will all work out.

I just wanted to say well done and look at what you have done! Not only have you moved but you have formed a few connections with locals just by having those conversations. I would take one day at a time. Let yourself adjust at your own pace. I would try and make sure you go out everyday just for conversation purposes. Once you feel settled you can look at joining things to do for you!