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I’ve never flown … I’ve just booked a flight …

40 replies

firsttimeflyinghelp · 25/03/2025 17:04

I’ve never flown that I remember. Once at 6 months old but I don’t remember that. My mum was petrified of flying. My dad OTOH flies everywhere.

I’ve booked an hour’s flight from England to Scotland to see family. It’s either that or 9 hours on trains and buses in total. It’s a no brainer basically. But I’m shitting it, I don’t know anything about flying. I’m petrified of heights, taking off, crashing, turbulence, being stuck, having a panic attack … everything!

I can beat this can’t I. I’m 34 ffs.

I’ll be doing it alone which doesn’t help at all, although it’s a teeny tiny plane.

Any advice or wisdom appreciated!!

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 25/03/2025 17:18

Flying is the safest form of transport by a country mile. You are likely to catch a germ from another passenger, and that's about it.

Statistically, if you caught a plane to work and back every day, you would crash every 33,000 years, and even then, the odds are that you would survive.

The only thing to be nervous about is getting stuck beside someone who doesn't shut up.

PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 25/03/2025 17:24

I love flying but I appreciate how nerve wracking it is for some people.

The aeroplane will be noisier than you expect - engine noise, air system etc. It might sound rattly sometimes and you might hear some bangs or thuds, especially during take off and landing. Don't let your imagination get the better of you - it's a big piece of transport with heavy internal moving parts that can be clunky, in what is essentially an echo chamber on top of an echo chamber.

Turbulence can feel alarming but remember that it's basically potholes in the sky! You drive along a bumpy, stony country road or farm track in a car and its going to feel bumpy!

Always keep your seat belt on though, even when the seat belt lights go off because if you a hit a big sky-pothole unexpectedly you might be bumped from your seat - although I should say I've never experienced turbulence that strong.

Who are you flying with?

LauderSyme · 25/03/2025 17:34

Yes you can beat this; it's an irrational phobia. As pp said, statistically, flying is much, much safer than driving.

The worst thing about flying is having your ears pop due to changing air pressure, but sucking hard sweets can help prevent that.

The rest I find completely exhilarating and you never know, you might too! Seeing the ground below from way high up is fascinating and flying above the clouds and seeing the curve of the Earth on the horizon is magical.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

LauderSyme · 25/03/2025 17:36

I know someone who procures himself a benzodiazepine before flying, but I'm not sure how easy that is and not sure I'd recommend it on the whole.

Ddakji · 25/03/2025 17:36

Well done, OP! You’ll be able to have much more time with your family.

Fuuuuuckit · 25/03/2025 17:38

I hate flying. To the point of tears on several flights, grabbing a neighbours hand on a wobbly approach and drinking one too many vodkas one time.

I've figured out it's the lack of control that is my problem. So, I've taken to reading about what causes things like turbulence. Safety testing. How all the dials work. How autopilot works. How air traffic control works.

It's not cured me, but it's better. I'm due to be going on an 8 hour flight next month (last time I flew that route it was thunderstorms for 3 hours, I'm not looking forward to it, I'm already having sleepless nights about the plane.

But, a few hours of discomfort for two weeks holiday. You've just got to do it op!

Dustmylemonlies · 25/03/2025 17:41

Enjoy! I hope you have a great time.

Advise having some flight earplugs in your bag just in case you find yourself with uncomfortable ears. They make a massive difference. Can buy them in Boots.

Also, make sure you have a bottle of water on the plane. Even short flights can dehydrate you.

BangingOn · 25/03/2025 17:42

Are you feeling ok about the airport side of things? Check in, security, gate numbers etc? Is it just the flight itself which is stressful?

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 25/03/2025 17:45

I’m scared of flying too but it helps to put calming music on Spotify (through headphones of course!) and concentrate on reading a book or doing a puzzle like sudoku in a book or on my phone helps.

You won’t be up on the air very long so keep that in mind if you find you don’t like it, but small planes are bumpier than big ones!

The scariest part for me is racing down the runway, then you feel a little dip and you’re on your way up. That’s normal but can feel weird. Planes often turn right after take off because of the direction of the runway and that can feel like you’re going down, but you’re not! Like a PP said, you’ll hear and feel some clunking as the wheels go up but that’s also normal and headphones block a lot of it out. Again, you might also feel a “dip” as you reach cruising height and the plane levels out. Then it’s plain sailing, or flying, until landing.

I find landing less scary as it feels slower and you are getting towards the end 😂. Keep in mind, the plane may do a few circles before it can land if there’s other planes landing and that’s normal too. They’ll often let you know over the tannoy. When you land the plane can sometimes bounce on landing but again, that’s fine.

You can also let the cabin crew know you’re a first time/ nervous flyer so they can check in on you if you’re feeling panicky.

My other advice is get to the airport early so you’re not rushing. Have your passport and boarding pass to hand but somewhere safe. Keep an eye on the screens so you know which gate you’re going to early and make your way there but there’s no need to start queuing to get on early, you’re all getting on! If you can, it’s easier to carry a back pack than a wheeled bag and it’s easier to get your things out of it. Get a drink, snack or meal at the airport if you’re there over a meal time.

PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 25/03/2025 17:45

Tell the crew when you board that you're a first timer and scared, they should keep an eye on you.

Once you go through security at the airport (a fun experience in which you half undress, put all your personal belongings in a tray to be scanned and let someone wave at you with a wand before redressing) you'll be through to the duty free area. Shops charging a premium, a pub / gastropub/ restaurant and chairs: bit like Waterloo tbh

Keep an eye out for your gate & when it's time to get there. The electronic boards will tell you but they can update quickly. Can sometimes be a 10 minute walk to your gate - it's basically like a massive train station.

At your gate there's another waiting area, just seats this time. When it's time to board you'll have to show your ticket/boarding pass and then you either walk down a sky bridge (corridor) to the plane door or you might cross the tarmac and climb steps to enter the plane. Sometimes they stick you on a shuttle bus if it's a bit of a distance.

Crew greets you at the door, you find your seat (like when you go to the theatre) and get comfortable. Bags must be stowed in the above head lockers or under the seat for safety purposes. I usually get out what I want for the flight at this point (headphones, book...).

Once everyone's seated there will be a safety demo: how to fasten your seat belt, what to do an emergency, where the emergency exits are. This is also described on double sided A4 piece of card in the pocket of the seat in front of you.

Seats must be upright & trays up for take off and landing.

The aeroplane will taxi (drive) to the runway. Sometimes if there's a delay you can be waiting to taxi for a while.

Takeoff: the plane will taxi (drive) forward, increasing its speed as it does so. With lift off the front of the plane (nose) will rise and you'll be a pressed into the back of your seat (not forcefully, more like when you're in a car which accelerates suddenly).

You'll be at this angle 🛫 until you reach altitude (flying height) when the plane levels off. After a couple of minutes the seat belt sign will go off and you'll be allowed to leave your seat, put your tray down etc.

I HATE rollercoasters- they terrify me, even the one at Legoland...Love take off though!

I haven't flown just an hour so they might not bother, but usually once you're level in the air the tea trolley will come round.

Landing is the same in reverse. When you actually land, the wheels will touch down with a bump or two - it can feel a bit alarming but don't be alarmed, it's normal. The plane will be whizzing along the tarmac and the pilot will reduce acceleration until you stop. Some pilots are gentler at this than others. Others Im convinced like to whizz along the runway a bit 🙄

The pressure changes of take off or landing can make your ears pop, feel a bit deaf. Sometimes some people can get some ear pain but I've never experienced this. Yawn or suck a boiled sweet to equalise the pressure and your ears will return to normal.

You'll get your stuff when permitted to and alight from the plane. Its the usual rush to be the first off but it makes little difference.

If you fly with Ryanair they'll probably charge you to look out the window 😉 if I remember rightly they play a dreadful trumpeting noise when they land and I seem to remember adverts being played loudly at take off too but I've largely blocked it from memory. Apparently sometimes people cheer on landing but thankfully I've never experienced this 😄

helpfulperson · 25/03/2025 17:45

If you go onto the airport website most have social stories explaining everything wirh lots of pictures. You may find these help as it goes through what to expect at each stage. Yes you can do this.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 25/03/2025 17:53

@Fuuuuuckit it’s the lack of control for me too! My husband says why was I quite happy flying in a tiny plane piloted by teenage DS (with a qualified pilot of course) but I’m scared of flying normally. I said I’d at least have half a chance of taking control if required 😂.

Darkclothes · 25/03/2025 18:23

Most airlines/airports run Fear of flying courses. I realise you don't have a fear, just limited knowledge of what happens, the crew announcements, cross check, the sounds of the wheels going up/down, navigating the airport etc. I'd recommend attending one to give you confidence. You could attend any, not just the airline you are flying with.

https://www.fearlessflyer.easyjet.com/?easyjetstaff=true
https://flyingwithconfidence.com/
https://www.manchesterairport.co.uk/help/passenger-guides/fear-of-flying/

Fear of flying course | Fearless Flyer

Fear of Flying – are you a nervous flyer? Do you have panic attacks on planes, you’re not alone – 1 in 6 people have a fear of flying. The easyJet Fearless Flyer course is perfect for you

https://www.fearlessflyer.easyjet.com/?easyjetstaff=true

Mightymoog · 25/03/2025 19:05

Dustmylemonlies · 25/03/2025 17:41

Enjoy! I hope you have a great time.

Advise having some flight earplugs in your bag just in case you find yourself with uncomfortable ears. They make a massive difference. Can buy them in Boots.

Also, make sure you have a bottle of water on the plane. Even short flights can dehydrate you.

do the earplugs actually work?
I ometimes get awful earache no matter what i do

shellyleppard · 25/03/2025 19:07

Deep breaths, take chewing gum to help your ears pop. Wear something warm as planes are often cold. Good luck

varden · 25/03/2025 19:07

Valium and a glass of white. Sorted, you'll be fine. 😊

firsttimeflyinghelp · 25/03/2025 19:17

PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 25/03/2025 17:45

Tell the crew when you board that you're a first timer and scared, they should keep an eye on you.

Once you go through security at the airport (a fun experience in which you half undress, put all your personal belongings in a tray to be scanned and let someone wave at you with a wand before redressing) you'll be through to the duty free area. Shops charging a premium, a pub / gastropub/ restaurant and chairs: bit like Waterloo tbh

Keep an eye out for your gate & when it's time to get there. The electronic boards will tell you but they can update quickly. Can sometimes be a 10 minute walk to your gate - it's basically like a massive train station.

At your gate there's another waiting area, just seats this time. When it's time to board you'll have to show your ticket/boarding pass and then you either walk down a sky bridge (corridor) to the plane door or you might cross the tarmac and climb steps to enter the plane. Sometimes they stick you on a shuttle bus if it's a bit of a distance.

Crew greets you at the door, you find your seat (like when you go to the theatre) and get comfortable. Bags must be stowed in the above head lockers or under the seat for safety purposes. I usually get out what I want for the flight at this point (headphones, book...).

Once everyone's seated there will be a safety demo: how to fasten your seat belt, what to do an emergency, where the emergency exits are. This is also described on double sided A4 piece of card in the pocket of the seat in front of you.

Seats must be upright & trays up for take off and landing.

The aeroplane will taxi (drive) to the runway. Sometimes if there's a delay you can be waiting to taxi for a while.

Takeoff: the plane will taxi (drive) forward, increasing its speed as it does so. With lift off the front of the plane (nose) will rise and you'll be a pressed into the back of your seat (not forcefully, more like when you're in a car which accelerates suddenly).

You'll be at this angle 🛫 until you reach altitude (flying height) when the plane levels off. After a couple of minutes the seat belt sign will go off and you'll be allowed to leave your seat, put your tray down etc.

I HATE rollercoasters- they terrify me, even the one at Legoland...Love take off though!

I haven't flown just an hour so they might not bother, but usually once you're level in the air the tea trolley will come round.

Landing is the same in reverse. When you actually land, the wheels will touch down with a bump or two - it can feel a bit alarming but don't be alarmed, it's normal. The plane will be whizzing along the tarmac and the pilot will reduce acceleration until you stop. Some pilots are gentler at this than others. Others Im convinced like to whizz along the runway a bit 🙄

The pressure changes of take off or landing can make your ears pop, feel a bit deaf. Sometimes some people can get some ear pain but I've never experienced this. Yawn or suck a boiled sweet to equalise the pressure and your ears will return to normal.

You'll get your stuff when permitted to and alight from the plane. Its the usual rush to be the first off but it makes little difference.

If you fly with Ryanair they'll probably charge you to look out the window 😉 if I remember rightly they play a dreadful trumpeting noise when they land and I seem to remember adverts being played loudly at take off too but I've largely blocked it from memory. Apparently sometimes people cheer on landing but thankfully I've never experienced this 😄

I can’t thank you enough for doing this, I’m going to save this to my notes on my phone haha and refer back to it (and this thread) when I get panicky again! Thank you so so much (all) - huge, huge help. I am a teeny bit excited - hopefully it goes smoothly. It’s a tiny little airport, the one I arrive in is a bit bigger (Teeside to Aberdeen).

OP posts:
PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 25/03/2025 20:02

firsttimeflyinghelp · 25/03/2025 19:17

I can’t thank you enough for doing this, I’m going to save this to my notes on my phone haha and refer back to it (and this thread) when I get panicky again! Thank you so so much (all) - huge, huge help. I am a teeny bit excited - hopefully it goes smoothly. It’s a tiny little airport, the one I arrive in is a bit bigger (Teeside to Aberdeen).

You're very welcome 😊 I really hope you love the experience and have a great trip!

Dustmylemonlies · 25/03/2025 20:20

@Mightymoog they absolutely help. Turns the pain down from a 7/8 to a 3/4....

JustAMum31 · 25/03/2025 20:43

@PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe has nailed it with the post 😊👍🏻

I’m also 34 @firsttimeflyinghelp and didn’t even have a passport until my late 20s. I’ve still only flown a handful of times. Once you’ve done it you’ll be absolutely fine - it’s fear of the unknown 😊

It’s an odd experience and feels a bit unatural. Im absolutely petrified of heights and yet can sit and look out of the plane window 😅 It almost doesn’t look real when you can see all the tiny stuff below 🤣 maybe that’s just my weird brain though 😂 Like I flew into Paris last week and we flew over the Eiffel Tower on the way in - I was having a right nosey out the window looking at all the street patterns etc round about and how small it all looked. Not once did I associate it with being so small because I was so high up 😂 Yet I stood under the tower the next day and felt physically sick when someone suggested going to the top of it 😂 (I didn’t go! 😂)

Come back and let us know how you get on 😊

LauderSyme · 25/03/2025 21:06

@PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe That is such a thoughtful post, bless your considerate heart.

The first time I flew solo I was almost 30 and we took off at dawn. We were going to Greece so initially flying directly east, and my goodness, flying towards the rising sun as it infused the sky and clouds with delicate colour is a sight and feeling that has never left me.

Later during the flight I looked down and realised we were crossing the Alps - and blimey! all the clichés you've ever heard about majestic mountains were right there spread below me.

Obviously you are traversing the UK, not Europe, but I bet you will see some wonderful sights OP 💖

I remember how alien and daunting airports felt to me. Just try and remember that they are a fancier version of a bus station and you may feel less intimidated 😁

ApolloandDaphne · 26/03/2025 04:57

How exciting. I didn't fly until I was 23 and flew alone from Scotland to England for a job interview. I loved it and have flown many, many times since then (i am 62 now). This will open up new horizons for you and hopefully you will book more flights to see more of the world. Enjoy your trip.

ShriekingTrespasser · 26/03/2025 06:53

Well done op. I cured myself of my fear by flying a lot one holiday and it felt no different to catching a bus by the end of it.
I also found out how many planes are in the sky at any one time and the number really surprised me. So many planes all day and night long and mostly nothing bad happens.

ThatShyRoseViper · 26/03/2025 07:01

Dustmylemonlies · 25/03/2025 20:20

@Mightymoog they absolutely help. Turns the pain down from a 7/8 to a 3/4....

I just spent a good few seconds wondering why earplugs are worth it just to reduce pain from seven eighths to three quarters.

Peekingovertheparapet · 26/03/2025 07:10

For me the worst bit is takeoff but the main bit of that is over quickly. On such a short flight you’re not really going to get properly airborne (most flights have a large chunk of just flying in the middle, and the whole of take off/climbing lasts maybe 20 minutes overall, and descent is similar). On a flight like that you’re going to begin your descent almost as soon as you’re fully up. That means your flight consists of the worst bits of flying imo, and any subsequent flight would be to some degree better with a chunk of cruising in the middle.

I think relinquishing control to the flying team is the best thing. Just commit to following instructions and enjoy the ride.

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