How often do you see your friends ?

[Thyor]

I have DH and teen DC. 1 friend wants to meet once a week plus either a Friday or Saturday night, every week. I like to spend at least one weekend night with DH/DC. But if I see this friend one weekend night every week and DH/DC on the other weekend night, then I have no time to see other friends/family on weekend nights.

What does everyone else do?

I’ll be in the minority here, I’m sure, but hardly ever.

i have young kids so have very little free time. I also need some downtime to myself.

I would like to see friends more than I do, but the above sounds completely suffocating. I couldn’t put up with that at all.

Is this your friend's idea to meet once a week? It seems a lot even without a young family.

Some weekly, some monthly. Mixture of lunch, shopping, out out, or just a quick cuppa. It was the same when the kids were small, we were lucky to have them around the same time, but loving it now they’re teens and independent!).

Hold tightly onto your friendships, because as your kids grow up you need non-mum stuff to do!

Same as @kitchentablegardentable

I have quite a lot of friends but don't see any of them that regularly. There are quite a few I see maybe once every three weeks often in groups. But my meet-ups are usually weekdays (work pt), weekday evenings or weekend brunches, I tend to keep Friday and Saturday night for family, usually staying in but sometimes going out as a couple or family.

I tend to see friends on weekday evenings, mostly monthly or
more.

Close friend who lives nearby, every week. Close friend an hour away, once a month or so. Close friend who lives hours away, a few times a year. Other people, now and then. That’s enough for me because I see my family a lot and we do things together.

You’ve posted about this before, haven’t you. It doesn’t matter how often anyone else sees their friends, OP. If what she wants doesn’t work for you, just say so and propose something that does.

I saw friends for an after-work drink this evening, and will see others at a book launch on Thursday night. I will see a different friend at a gig at the weekend. But these are all different people, and the arrangements were made because they suited everyone, they’re not set in stone every week?

A couple of them twice a week, for gym and lunch. A couple once a month or so. A few even less often, but for a weekend, as we live far from each other. Apart from the gym/lunch, none of them are to a set schedule. I’m not terribly social though.

Glad it wasn't just me thinking "I feel exhausted just reading it!"

I keep my circle outside of my family small. I'd rather invest what little free time I have into 1-2 quality friendships. The friends I have got are like me, busy lives , little free time - so we get each other.

I had another friend who was very high on the demands, would take offence if I missed a call. Needed constant lengthy phone contact , would get passive aggressive if I went a few days without texting. I backed off completely in the end. I can't be dealing with intensity and guilt trips. Too old for it.

So, I see my very dear friend sparodically. Sometimes once a week, sometimes once per month. Odd text, random phonecall here and there. I love her to bits and would be there if needed, and she would be for me. But we understand each other are busy and the pressure to be in constant contact is off. I'm grateful she reciprocates my vibe.

My DH drives me mental- but he is my DH and so therefore most of my time is spent with him and our DC.

I see one once a week and the others it varies. In the last 2 weeks DH and I have been out with two other couples and I have met up with 4 different friends on 4 separate occasions. So 6 outings in 14 days, was enough and that also didn’t include my hobby group who I’m friendly with twice.

Not often at all. I have a best friend (well, she says I am her best friend) that I see maybe a handful of times a year.

When it suits.

We see each other at shared hobby (monthly) and for coffee before hand.
We see each other when we go out as couples twice per year.
We see each other at our kids' birthday parties.

I prioritise DH and DC. Sometimes a family meet up is better than just friend and me.

Once in 2 months, occasionally once in a month. We do mixture of meets up for coffee, theatre visits and dinners out. My DD has additional needs so I don’t have much free time however in a different circumstances I would still see friends once a month, I would rather spend more time with DH. I also love shopping but on my own.
Is your friend single and have all her problems solved? It sounds like she is.

I have always kept in touch with my friends that I have before children.

My kids are mid to late 20s now.
However when they were young I would go out one night a week with them, usually to the cinema or pub.
I would also see them mid week for a walk or go to the gym and go away once a year, child free - actually I still go away with them.
I usually have a gathering at my house once every six weeks or so and have done this for 30 years.
Long term friendships are really important to me.

I see my friends once a month, maybe twice on a weekend and go out without kids. Other than that I meet my friends in the week with my youngest when I’m not working maybe twice a month

I’m the exact same. The only friends I see every week are mum friends because we’re waiting at the same event. You don’t owe every minute of free time to other people. When would you have time for yourself

Just say no - I mean surely you can just make plans as you like and if you are free to see this friend you can.
I do have one friend I see most weeks but it’s just for pre dinner drinks (we live close by). But if a couple weeks (or more) go by when one or the other is busy we don’t think anything of it.
Why is this person so needy? Are the actually saying they need to see you every week?

One friend every other week.

Another friend every three weeks.

2 cousins that are like friends twice a year.

Two other friends once a year for each one.

Another friend I go away with every other year.

I find once a week with the same friend slightly too much.

I have all DS’s so my girlfriends are really important to me.

Meeting friends on Thursday evenings works well for me.

Hardly ever. Single parent, full time job. I know I will regret it when the children have left home but I am in a conveyor belt I can’t keep up with. Even making time to do things like go to the dentist is difficult.

we have friends we get together with about once a year at birthdays etc,

Mum friends, all the time at toddler groups etc but my ‘actual’ group of friends who’ve been with me through thick and thin, rarely. Much less than I’d like, but we all have very small children (all of us have 2+ from newborn to the oldest being 5) and we live at a reasonable distance from each other. I live 80 miles from the furthest and the rest live dotted between us! Add in a couple of workaholic husbands and our availability is limited. Maybe once every 4-6 weeks.

It doesn’t matter what others do. It also shouldn’t matter for the friendship, if it’s a true friendship. What matters is that you meet up because you want to see the other person, not to fill time. It sounds like you don’t want to meet this friend weekly, which is fine. It sounds like your friend wants fixed days to meet, which makes me wonder whether she’s using you to fill her time or whether she wants to see you. I’d advise you to think about how often you would want to see her /have time to see her and other ways to stay in touch and tell her this. Eg, Sally I don’t want to meet every week because I only have limited time and I also want to spend time with my husband, family and other friends. I do enjoy chatting over the phone though or keeping in touch through text messages. I can only meet up every now and then.

Is she single? Or in a bad relationship /trying to avoid her partner? As she wants to meet up twice a week, including weekends

Would find weekly alot! Every few months we catch up but most work or care for elderly so they not free. Im finding people crap though nobody wants meet. Met old neighbour I gave her few dates nothing. Think people happy sit in now.