Is it normal that my 15 month old isn’t hitting these milestones?

[sha160528]

Hi,

My 15 month old can’t yet do the following:
-Point with her index finger
-Follow a command such as bring me XXX
-Doesn’t yet engage in pretend play - to be fair I haven’t really modelled this as we usually play with puzzles, balls, flashcards, books, her wooden activity table etc. I don’t really do role play such as using a phone or giving a teddy the bottle - although I probably should now.

She does do the following:
-Responds to her name but can sometimes ignore if she’s occupied
-Walks holding furniture
-Says hi, bye, eat, dada, pa pa, shh, pink, purple, 1, 2 and three
-Does copy sounds I make
-Eats well with her hands
-Can use a spoon if it’s pre-loaded

Is it normal that she can’t yet point and follow a command?

What did your child do at 15 months?

Thanks

I wouldn’t say it’s uncommon.

my little one didn’t really pretend okay at that age. I can’t remember about the bring me if I’m honest. And in regards to pointing he used to use his while hand and make a noise I think actual pointing came closer to 18months if I remember correctly.

Mine was the same as yours at that age

Mine uses her hand and makes noises too @justmyluck1234she claps, and waves (on her terms) but the pointing with the index finger is pretty much non-existent

it will come in due course, she’s communicating with you. It’s great that she’s clapping and waving.

Does she use a pincer grip?

That's a good number of words for 15mo. Obeying the command "bring me X" would be pretty advanced for 15mo.

@WhenSunnyGetsBlueyes she does

My son is 15 months at the moment.

He can point with an index finger, eat with a spoon unaided, and clap his hands, mime swimming like a fish and lots of other hand gestures. Still cruising rather than walking. But he can't say as many words as yours and he certainly wouldn't be able to fetch me something on command

Pointing usually comes between 10 and 15 months, some earlier,some later. If by 18 months she isn't pointing then i would get some professional advice. Otherwise sounds like she's doing well. They all just work through things in their own time. Relax and enjoy your little girl.

And I'm pretty sure pretend play was at least 2.5y for my dd. Unless you just mean making an animal noise.

So I went down a rabbit hole of Googling and on Google it said if your baby isn’t pointing by 15 months then it is a red flag for Autism.

I then started to feel worried that she’s really behind with everything else too

My son's words are:

Yeah
No
Dadda
Mummuh/Yumyum (they sound the same)
There
That
Lookadat
Gone

And new this week: Bubble

@RobinHeartellaapparently they’re supposed to pretend to talk on the phone or pretend to give a doll milk etc

Does she follow your point? When she says words, does she use them in context (ie saying dada when her dad walks into the room)? Does she bring you toys that she finds interesting?

She sounds like she's doing fine. Stay away from tiktok. It doesn't give you useful accurate medical information. Do you go to any baby/toddler groups where you can meet other mums with babies of a similar age? I think that is the most useful thing you can do WRT milestone worries.

Ah I'd file that under Gestures rather than pretend play.

Do them at her and she'll probably do them too

@Wildflowers99she does follow my point. Sometimes she looks at my hand for a bit then follows it. She doesn’t really bring me toys to be honest. More so puts everything in her own mouth or bangs her play hammer on a table or the xylophone

My 20 month old has only just started pointing with his finger. I wouldn't worry too much

I’ve got 2 children age 6 and 2.

Neither of children did pretend play until around 18 months, I think 15 months is still a bit early for that.

Both of mine pointed after their 1st birthday, around 13/14 months, so 15 doesn’t sound too unusual.

I would say the most important thing is that she understands language - if you say ‘doggy/bird/ball’ does she look at it?

I'd say gestures in general will help with the pointing, after all pointing is just another gesture.

Try singing gesture type songs like Wheels on the Bus, Wind the Bobbin Up and so on to get her used to gesturing with her hands

I nearly wrote "stop listening to autism scare tiktok" but I thought that was too blunt, and deleted it. Apparently my first instinct was correct (but I mean this in a supportive way, not in a having a go way).

But - yeah anything which is like "Not doing X by Y age is a sign of autism" is part of this weird social media chain which is designed to convince you that your perfectly normally developing, very young baby is autistic and that autism is some awful thing to be afraid of, usually so they can sell you some wonder supplement which is completely unregulated. It's probably harmless, but you don't know what's in it and some of the bonkers "autism cures" online are literally insane.

Of course it works 9/10 because the baby was never autistic to begin with. If you're in the 1/10 who ended up on this train because there are genuinely concerning signs and your child does turn out to be autistic they sell you all kinds of other nonsense. It's awful. There is a lot of overlap with the antivax nutters and the parasite cleanse nutters.

Genuine information about milestones and guidance which isn't trying to frighten you uses much looser terms and will talk about speaking to a medical professional if your baby isn't doing certain things by a certain age, they don't give a specific diagnosis because it is not possible to give a diagnosis based on one delayed milestone (and pointing is not a fixed enough milestone to be delayed anyway).

NHS is usually a great source of info as well:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/play-and-learning/help-your-baby-learn-to-talk/

@BertieBotts i don’t think that’s very fair. Toddlers missing major milestones is a more solid red flag than the reasons given for suspicions further down the line (such as being shy or not liking scratchy clothes etc). Most sources agree pointing should take place at around 10-18 months, so OP’s DD is still within normal limits but it’s definitely worth keeping an eye on, particularly in the context of not showing other types of joint attention.

I'm not saying looking at milestones isn't helpful, I'm highlighting a specific pattern of a certain kind of content. The tiktok/reels stuff is like "If your baby isn't doing this one very specific thing by [age about 50% of babies do this thing] then they could have autism" which is NOT the same thing as saying speak to your HV/GP if your baby isn't babbling by 9 months or using gestures by 12 months or whatever the actual guideline is.

The red flag in particular for those posts is bringing up autism as a first suggestion. It's not helpful - it's very rare to identify autism at 15 months old. Surely the first suggestion should be speak to a professional who can look at the information in the context of the whole child.

Actually I don’t think it is that rare. There’s been a few threads on here asking mums when they had suspicions, and many had suspicions around or just after the first birthday.

Step away from the milestone lists! They are guidance for what's usual, not a 'something's wrong if your child doesn't do all or most these things' list