Is it normal that my 15 month old isn’t hitting these milestones?

[sha160528]

Hi,

My 15 month old can’t yet do the following:
-Point with her index finger
-Follow a command such as bring me XXX
-Doesn’t yet engage in pretend play - to be fair I haven’t really modelled this as we usually play with puzzles, balls, flashcards, books, her wooden activity table etc. I don’t really do role play such as using a phone or giving a teddy the bottle - although I probably should now.

She does do the following:
-Responds to her name but can sometimes ignore if she’s occupied
-Walks holding furniture
-Says hi, bye, eat, dada, pa pa, shh, pink, purple, 1, 2 and three
-Does copy sounds I make
-Eats well with her hands
-Can use a spoon if it’s pre-loaded

Is it normal that she can’t yet point and follow a command?

What did your child do at 15 months?

Thanks

Diagnosis is not the same thing as having suspicions. Sorry, when I said it's rare to have it identified I meant by a medical professional.

I just can't see a legitimate reason for those videos. They make me highly suspicious. They almost always seem to lead to an online space which is extremely negative and scaremongering about autism - it's not about accepting and understanding your wonderful but different child (what would you do differently for an autistic 1yo? Nothing probably) it's about instilling fear so they can sell you a solution and make you sceptical of "mainstream medicine".

It's predatory, it harms parents' mental health and robs them of time spent enjoying their child, instead they are now worrying about milestones and not in a productive way (the videos rarely include information about how to support the development of skills or useful information about how to seek advice) and they contribute to ableist, outdated narratives about autism being some kind of curse.

Because early intervention is key and a lot of the methods (like floor play) are beneficial even to NT kids.

‘Different but wonderful’ is usually a phrase used by parents with high functioning ASD kids. Parents I know with low functioning autistic kids are far from having a wonderful time.

That would mean half the children can do it at this age, so half can't.

Can she follow when you point, and does she look at things if they are interesting, to get you to look too? Does she wave her hand at stuff (i.e. trying to point but can't get the finger to work)? These are all the things they do to lead up to pointing.

@drspousesometimes she does like if I sing wind the bobbin up she’ll look then, but if I do it whilst she’s in her room with all of her toys she won’t look at what I’m pointing to.

Again, sometimes she’ll put her hand out and make noises.

Not sure if I should be worried or not.

I have spoken to the HV about my concerns and she saw my daughter three weeks ago and thought she was doing well and had caught up (she was previously a bit behind) but then I started looking at milestone charts and lists and realised the pointing and commands thing and went down a rabbit hole on Google.

The HV said she wasn’t so concerned and some kids do point later than other, but then she later text me this (see attachment). Obviously she has written it’s to put my mind at rest but not sure if she now has concerns too? I do overthink a lot when it comes to my DD and I am going to refer myself for therapy as my health anxiety in relation to her is quite bad, so I’m not sure if she’s doing it for my peace of mind or if she’s concerned.

Sometimes I do wonder if her delays are due to the fact that we were staying in a hostel for the first 6ish months of her life which smelt of urine (I’m just being honest) and I’d feel it was disgusting to put her down on the floor for things like tummy time, even if I’d put something on the floor it felt like the rug etc was soaking in the smells.

We then did move into our house now but it took time for us to be able to afford proper foooring so I’d often do tummy time with her on the bed. I guess what I’m getting at due to these reasons she wasn’t given the best environment to thrive (we were homeless as we lived with my partners parents as there was DA there hence why we lived in the hostel at the start of her life).

To top all of the above, she has CMPA which meant anytime I did put her on the bed for tummy time etc, she’d just scream and cry. She’d only find relief (somewhat) in her pram - when she was pushed) so I guess I’m wondering if any relation to autism is premature given the above.

During the CMPA days I would be silent when she was a bit settled as I was too scared she’d cry again (any parent with a CMPA baby knows how unsettled they can be) so maybe the fact I didn’t really point etc didn’t help.

Things have changed a lot now in the last few months, I went back to work and was paid more than just SMP and she has everything she needs now, I feel more confident with her allergies and she has plenty of floor time, has her own room etc.

But I do wonder if her start in life could be the reason she has some delays?

No negative comments please, it’s hard to even type out all of the above.

Forgot to mention that her dad is in the process of being assessed for autism, hence why I spoke to the HV about my concerns but again, I’m wondering if it’s just a normal thing of her being slower with certain things, a delay due to her start in life with CMPA and housing situation or if it is early signs of autism.

Aww OP I can sense your distress and worry. And also that you seem to be blaming yourself a bit. Babies don’t really become mobile until 8+ months - until then they’re working on their core strength in rolling/sitting, all things she could do in her cot or sat on your lap, so don’t feel guilty.

At 15 months it’s hard to say whether she’s autistic or not. I think 18-24 months is more reliable, because 12 months is about average for a lot of milestones and therefore a good few babies will be later than this.

All you can do is keep interacting with her, chatting to her, cut out screen time (if she has any) and get her out and about in the buggy to keep her interest in the world.

@Wildflowers99thank you for your kind words.

Ironically today she passed me toys when I put my hand out and asked for them - some progress I guess in that regards!

I definitely will take her out more, cut down screen time and interact with her a lot more as I’ve seen small differences in consciously setting aside time to do things with her as opposed to thinking about the next job I have to do and rushing interactions etc.

Hi @sha160528 any update with your little one please.Worried first time mom here.could you please pleaseeee reply.Thank you in advance.

@Saiaryal24 I understand your worries as was once there. My little one is now 20 months old and does all of the things I was concerned about. She’s still hit and miss with the ‘bring me XXX’ but she does point now (to ask for something not as much ti show me something) and she does engage in a lot of pretend play now. What in particular are you worried about?