Thread 17 - TalkLair: "Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge."

[RasaSayangEh]

(Previous thread 16).

Spring is springing, daffodils blooming all over our LairGarden, which have not all been picked by a neighbour's kid...

In the TalkLair, the hearth is glowing, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, cosy rugs are down on the floors looking a bit stained by cat hairball regurgitation. The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch though, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics. We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

My lawn has more than its fair share of dandelions but it’s also home to violets, daisies, clover, self-heal and assorted other things that benign neglect has allowed to happen. Mostly it’s moss though. Very little actual grass.

Why is it that dandelions are so annoying? I think it's because whatever you do, they fight back and just take over. We were wandering over the green opposite our house this afternoon and the buttercups are just gorgeous.

I like my hori hori for taking out dandelions and putting in bulbs.

Un a decently-kept bed it's not that different from a trowel, but the sharpness of the hori hori makes a world of difference in a lawn.

I saw a map earlier of mother's days around the world. I think there were about 8 different ones - some fixed dates, some always the same Sunday of the month but therefore with a bit of date variation. And then there's the UK, Ireland and Nigeria, who all use the very simple '4th Sunday after the Wednesday that's 46 days before the first Sunday after the first astronomical full moon on or after 21 March'.

I was made very aware that it was Mother's Day in Australia watching the NRL games earlier tonight.

It was Mothers' Day in Malaysia yesterday, the same as US/Australia/etc. First Sunday in May.

I remember dear late MiL used to get very cross about our UK Mothering Sunday being called Mothers' Day, we always had to seek out cards with the correct wording: of course, nobody ever dared point out that Mothering Sunday wasn't actually about mothers in the first place

Travel insurance has been resolved, after getting several quotes - all better than the original hair-raising amount but still rather steep. DH worked out that if he upgraded his current account to platinum (or whatever posh name the marketers came up with) for £20 a month, he gets travel insurance for the whole family, mobile phone insurance and a bunch of other perks.

DDs are sitting their first written GCSEs today. English Lit and Computer Science paper 1. DD2 has been very good about revising and doing practice papers all weekend. DD1 has... not. I'm going to be a wreck by the end of these six weeks, aren't I?

(Having said that, I don't recall my parents ever getting excessively concerned about my major exams. They just left me to it and trusted that I knew what needed to be done. By the time I sat my A-levels, I was living abroad so they didn't even know what subjects I'd settled on, when my exams were, nor did they know when the results came out - I actually forgot to ring them in the excitement of results day, only told them several days later!).

I was sure that we'd done Mother's Day! Daughter messaged me back with:

Duuhhh! Australia!

Going back a loooooong way in these threads, I've just listened to the latest episode of Strong Message Here, and they have Phil Wang talking about Malaysia and its multiculturally decorated shopping malls.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002bt7v

Degrees of separation:

My wife was on the catering crew when he'd did a gig in Newcastle. Apparently he was very nice, but spoke to her "in Chinese."

Double embarrassments all round, then all was cool.

I listened to that episode but I need to start listening to it on Sounds so I get a full half hour show because I really enjoy it. Armando is very good on it, very unlike many a male with female presenter can be just by virtue of being gentle of voice a lot and seeing it as a both of them get to speak equally and if not then he's the one who should say less because he, genuinely, seems to enjoy "learning" from her. I'm a big Helen Lewis fan and whoever came up with this show - probably Armando - has my admiration.

Looking at your flowers again as I scrolled along to this page, @Britinme I realised you have an actual Tulip Vase which is just beautiful! They're something that I knew existed but then forgot because I've not seen one for years. To then notice yours and the way it homes the tulips. Just lovely!

I'm going to be having a tree or something planted in the field where we had our event the other weekend and need to choose which is a nice decision to have to make. I said the field would be good with a small orchard and there are a couple of apple trees that have been planted, so I think I might go for a fruit tree because then you have the beauty of the blossom for all to see, then the taste of the fruit to nourish people and then, of course, the autumn and winter waning before it blossoms again. It's a wonderful life circle and nourishing too. I want to look at different fruits, types of that fruit and the meaning of different trees. I'll look into the soil there as well. I'm also tempted by the Rowan tree but probably won't go there. I'll be in a field! Well a tree in my name. And it's such a beautiful tree with the horses and chickens and the tree that rose from the dead and just everything really.

Thanks for noticing that @FagsMagsandBags. I bought it in Amsterdam a few years ago when we were there in tulip season. It only gets used a few times a year but it is perfect for tulips!

I think an apple tree is a great choice, even a crab apple. We used to have one at our old house and the birds loved it in the winter when the tiny apples were all shrivelled. I used to make crab apple jelly as well when the fruit was fresh. Crab apple jelly is great on its own but it’s also very high in pectin so it mixes well with a lot of non-pectin-containing fruit to make jam mixtures.

My mother just called me and my brother: "This afternoon your dad was very weak and couldn't stand up and couldn't raise his right arm and his speech was slurred... but I let him rest for a while and now he seems better. What should I do?"

Here is live footage of both siblings.

Oh dear.

No advice (other than stick a pillow on the desk). Heaps of sympathy.

I presume you said that he's had a stroke and to summon paramedics? I feel for yous and your poor old mum, who is probably just hoping for the best and not wanting to accept being old and all that comes with it.

🌺

I love the idea of a tree, Fags, especially a fruit tree. I'd like to be buried with a cherry tree to fertilise, but I don't think it's allowed...

If you have a woodland burial, a tree is definitely allowed.

My favourite cherry tree is Kojo-no-mai. But it's an ornamental rather than one with good fruit.

The birds like the fruit even if people don’t.

I'm a big fan of crab apple trees.

@SinnerBoy yes, we were both like "Get off the phone with us, call an ambulance, or just drive him to A&E!" - nothing much I can do but get on with my day and wait for news.

Snoop and I have sort of got the burying sorted, we're now both on the give your body to science thing. They get to do what they fancy with us and then give back our ashes. Free! So all my death costs are done now and it was a lot cheaper than pure cremation who are all the daytime ads for the elderly at the moment. So, I'll get some ashes under my tree eventually but it can be any length of time from months to years which hardly matters. Anyone can have some ashes and everyone's happy.

You know you can have a small portion of ashes turned into a diamond. I didn’t find this out until it was too late and his ashes had been scattered, but I wished I had been able to do that with my first husband’s ashes.

I'd recommend a backup funeral plan. Science is very fussy about what bodies it accepts - my stepsister was rejected.

It just so happens I was watching a show on TV last night; the undertaker had all sorts of options for putting the ashes (or, as he corrected it to), 'remains', into ornaments, paintings, even pressed into vinyl! And used the technique to dispose of his wife's body! 😃

There's a jewellers about 10 minutes from me who specialise in using ashes in jewellery from under £100 upwards. I'm going to let people know about it if they're interested. I think it's a lovely thing to do.

@RasaSayangEh I've been so rude not mentioning your father. Any updates on what sounds very scary Indeed? Has he been taken to hospital?

@FagsMagsandBags Silence from my mum, I think she has taken him to A&E but I'd imagine we won't know any more for some hours 🤷🏻‍♀️

Everything crossed for you, @RasaSayangEh .