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Original poster

Why does this live in my head rent free

98 replies

Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 21:55

I know how ridiculous this sounds but has anyone ever said anything to you that really wasn't a massive deal but you still think about from time to time and still annoys you. So about 5/6 years ago I was in hospital for about a month I'd been really ill and nearly died. On the day I was discharged the lady in the bed opposite me husband came to see her and he recognised me from my job (retail) first he started whinging at me about how expensive where I worked had got and i was pretty much ignoring him. Then when the dr came in to tell me my last scan was clear so I was fine to go home now this bloke then pipes up and says see their nothing wrong with you so you can get out of bed and go back to work. I snapped back at him iv been here a month and just pulled the curtain back round. I don't know why this still bothers me years later or even why I still think about it. Please tell me im not the only one.

OP posts:
knephew · 15/03/2025 21:56

Are you asking if anyone else remembers this happening….

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 21:58

No im asking if anyone has had something said to them that annoys them years later when it really shouldn't

OP posts:
Annascaul · 15/03/2025 21:58

That’s quite specific, op. I doubt it’s happened to anyone else.

HDready · 15/03/2025 22:00

Yes, absolutely! I give far too much head space to passing comments from years ago.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:02

HDready · 15/03/2025 22:00

Yes, absolutely! I give far too much head space to passing comments from years ago.

It really makes you think how important it is to think before you speak because that little comment that's forgotten 10 minutes later really can effect others

OP posts:
Poirot1983 · 15/03/2025 22:02

What a stupid, horrible man, OP!

And yes, I remember hurtful comments from decades ago.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 15/03/2025 22:02

knephew · 15/03/2025 21:56

Are you asking if anyone else remembers this happening….

Of course she isn’t. She’s asking if anyone else is still bothered by things that happened many years ago.

OP, that person was horrible and they don’t deserve any of your attention. And I don’t think it’s unusual for people to still think about times when they were treated badly and undeservedly.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:03

Annascaul · 15/03/2025 21:58

That’s quite specific, op. I doubt it’s happened to anyone else.

Not what I meant 🙈

OP posts:
WiseUpJanetWeiss · 15/03/2025 22:04

Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:03

Not what I meant 🙈

Show quote history

Nobody with any reading comprehension skills thinks that’s what you meant.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:04

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 15/03/2025 22:02

Of course she isn’t. She’s asking if anyone else is still bothered by things that happened many years ago.

OP, that person was horrible and they don’t deserve any of your attention. And I don’t think it’s unusual for people to still think about times when they were treated badly and undeservedly.

Edited
Show quote history

Thankyou 😁

OP posts:
Introducingme · 15/03/2025 22:05

As usual someone doesn't read the thread properly.

OP I get where you are coming from.
The number of times I think of things people say.
Then I start thinking of what I should have said/done.

TheChosenTwo · 15/03/2025 22:05

I can’t think of anything right now but I’m sure I could dredge up thoughtless comments people have made to be from years ago.
But I don’t, I choose to believe I’m fabulous 😂

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:06

Introducingme · 15/03/2025 22:05

As usual someone doesn't read the thread properly.

OP I get where you are coming from.
The number of times I think of things people say.
Then I start thinking of what I should have said/done.

This. I really wish I'd stuck up for myself better

OP posts:
Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:08

TheChosenTwo · 15/03/2025 22:05

I can’t think of anything right now but I’m sure I could dredge up thoughtless comments people have made to be from years ago.
But I don’t, I choose to believe I’m fabulous 😂

🤣🤣💅 love this

OP posts:
lovelychops · 15/03/2025 22:14

Omg yes! Years ago a bus driver told my DD to cheer up - i wish I'd given him a mouthful. She was feeling shit as she'd had chemotherapy a few days before and was so little

PollyannaGladGame · 15/03/2025 22:18

Why would you ask this? You know she isn't asking that.

You know she is giving an example of an occasion that upset her and has stayed in her head years later.

You're just being fucking mean.

HomeBodyClub · 15/03/2025 22:18

I have a post saved on instagram that says something like be careful what you say as you never know how many times it’s repeating in someone’s head.

I have a few in mine but I try to block them out.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:18

lovelychops · 15/03/2025 22:14

Omg yes! Years ago a bus driver told my DD to cheer up - i wish I'd given him a mouthful. She was feeling shit as she'd had chemotherapy a few days before and was so little

Ahh I hate it when men say this, i had a man say this to me when I was 17 my boyfriend had just ended his life and this man said smile it may never happen. I just said it already has and carried on walking went home and cried. I hope you dd is doing OK now. I feel like we need a list of go to comebacks for when these situations happen.

OP posts:
Feelingstrange2 · 15/03/2025 22:19

You did the right thing. You closed down a ridiculous conversation without it escalating. Your only remaining thought should be that you won't speak to him again and, given the circumstances, you probably never will anyway.

My aunt, who I'd not seen for years, came out of my Mums funeral (her sisters) and walked the line as you do. I was first, supporting my elderly father, she slapped me on my (now more ample) backside and said "well, you won't be running another half marathon anytime soon".

I said "it's nice to see you again too. Are you coming to the wake?"

And I will always pass the time of day if I see her but will NEVER make any effort to speak to her again. Her words don't haunt me...or my de escalating reply....but she does so I simply choose to not engage again.

PollyannaGladGame · 15/03/2025 22:21

Sorry, I meant to quote knephew...

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 15/03/2025 22:27

@Differentstarts I can clearly remember situation where someone was unnecessarily angry with me, and I couldn't do anything to stop them.also about 6 years ago. It was an annoying and unnecessary interaction, which probably remember because it was so unnecessary.

Smokeyblueblack · 15/03/2025 22:32

I'm actually quite shocked that your conversation with the doctor about your scan result and discharge was carried out in front of a random male visitor to another patient. Surely that should have been done in privacy?
But in answer your question : yes I remember and worry about comments and remarks from years ago. I always go over and over things thinking how I should have said or done something different in response.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 15/03/2025 22:33

Smokeyblueblack · 15/03/2025 22:32

I'm actually quite shocked that your conversation with the doctor about your scan result and discharge was carried out in front of a random male visitor to another patient. Surely that should have been done in privacy?
But in answer your question : yes I remember and worry about comments and remarks from years ago. I always go over and over things thinking how I should have said or done something different in response.

It's a nhs hospital on a shared ward they just pull the curtain round everyone can hear everything. Privacy doesn't exist in hospitals

OP posts:
holidayfever2024 · 15/03/2025 22:34

Oh OP I am sorry you are still dwelling on this , I think it’s pretty common for things like this to stay with us despite the previous responses. I can still remember some really random things people have said to me that have become part of how I see myself. I don’t even know why they are the ones that stick with me.
I dont have any advice but I try to remember that people just say stuff with no thought as to your own context. Let it go if you can.

SwerveCity · 15/03/2025 22:35

Why are people not getting what you mean? 😂 Honestly, I have so many things like this, things that play over in my head from years ago, even decades ago (school!) things where I wish I had said something or done something differently, or things that annoyed me. I go over it in my head like it was only yesterday. Like why was that staff member at Heathrow check in just so absolutely bloody rude to me for no reason - two years ago?!