Why does this live in my head rent free

[Differentstarts]

I know how ridiculous this sounds but has anyone ever said anything to you that really wasn't a massive deal but you still think about from time to time and still annoys you. So about 5/6 years ago I was in hospital for about a month I'd been really ill and nearly died. On the day I was discharged the lady in the bed opposite me husband came to see her and he recognised me from my job (retail) first he started whinging at me about how expensive where I worked had got and i was pretty much ignoring him. Then when the dr came in to tell me my last scan was clear so I was fine to go home now this bloke then pipes up and says see their nothing wrong with you so you can get out of bed and go back to work. I snapped back at him iv been here a month and just pulled the curtain back round. I don't know why this still bothers me years later or even why I still think about it. Please tell me im not the only one.

Thankyou for understanding and I'm glad it's not just me 🤣

If it’s any consolation I really believe nothing anyone says or does is free. You pay for all of it. So that nasty little man is somewhere paying for his horrible attitude. Also I remember every little detail of everything - especially things that are spoken. I used to think I was autistic but I now know it’s a trauma response from growing up in a house where one parent was a predator.

Yes but it's bad enough for the curtain to be drawn and other patients to hear. That's a breach of patient confidentiality. It takes it to a different level to have a medical conversation between doctor and patient when there are visitors on the ward, and especially visitors of the opposite sex.

Not nearly as bad as the incident that happened to you, but yes.

I accompanied my late dad to a hospital appointment. The doctor left the room, but the nurse was still there while we waited for the doctor's return.

The nurse announced that she was there as a bank nurse, to make more money for Christmas. She then informed me that her son was a pupil at my school and - in front of my dad - made a complaint about a member of my staff.

I told her she needed to see me at work. I later saw the doctor in private and complained about what had happened.

It still pisses me off.

It's just the way it is visiting at my local hospital is 12 until 8pm on most wards. Drs do need to communicate with patients within this time. You think wards are bad. Wait until your in a&e and the dr comes to talk to you in a waiting room full of people

10 years or so ago I was out for a run. I was training for a marathon and I was running quite fast because I was a bloody good runner back then. 2 men were leaning over a gate in front of a house whilst 2 women (presumably their wives/ partners) were chatting at the front door of the house a few metres away. One of the men looked over at me and said to his mate "even if I could catch it, I wouldn't know what to do with it."
I just kept running. But I think about that comment often, how disgusting and misogynistic it was. I wish I'd told the women what he'd said or looked him in the eyes and told him what a creepy bastard he was.

I'm glad you made a complaint that is not ok

I do OP, but I remember kindnesses as well though so it balances out! I think a lot about my first trip home from uni when I was 18, phone out of battery and no way to tell my parents I was on a rail replacement bus and would be hours late. A woman saw me looking distressed and came over asking if I was okay, let me use her phone and stayed with me til I had spoken to my parents and had it sorted.

Yes I am afraid I remember insults and slights and other ignorant bullshit said to me many years ago. Someone once disdainfully called me a 'wound collector' due to this unfortunate trait. See, I remember that too!

I thought it was a characteristic of my particular personality type but it's interesting that @Elfie111 references trauma as I have been subject to that too.

That stupid man was a self-centred, tiny-minded knobhead. He probably thinks the Daily Express is intellectually sophisticated.

It sticks and replays because you were highly vulnerable at that point (he knew that).
He was an utter arsehole. There was no way you could have fought back at that point, do not dwell on that - he was taking advantage of your position. I also read from your post that you had too many manners yourself and too much kindness towards the lady he was visiting, to start any sort of upset. It puts you head and shoulders above him today.

That's lovely im glad that lady helped you and that you remember it well

Honestly OP , Mumsnet is an absolute passive aggressive (or just full on aggressive) viper's pit today! I don't know what's the matter with people!

I totally understand what you mean.

The man in your example is very obnoxious, probably lacks depth and insight. Silly man.

I too have these moments - both cringey things I've said and done , but also things said and done to me, and it can stir up emotions.

Often when these dickish things are said, you are caught unawares and don't have time to react the way you wish you had !

Yes definitely OP several things annoy me still one from 5 years old even (I am 52)

Yes, and even worse, remembering things I wish I hadn't said and done to other people. Owwww.

Don't be so obtuse

I know what you mean. I teach and have had parents and patients when I worked in the NHS have a go at me without justification. I don't have the hide to just forget it and so sometimes I end up thinking about them and winding myself up. Imagine what an absolute dickhead you'd have to be to do it to a patient in hospital? His poor, poor family having to live with him.

Don't be so flipping spiteful fgs

Happens to me all the time. The other week, I said to a so-called friend that I had lost loads
Of weight. She replies with "that's lucky". I
Then said "luck didn't come into it" and she said "it's just a phrase". Thought it was really not what a friend says. I'm sure this will still be on my mind in years to come.

Yes I have loads of these going around my head.
I can always think of the perfect response, unfortunately about half an hour later.

Congratulations on your weightloss that's a massive achievement and takes a lot of hardwork

Same I think this it what makes it so frustrating

Why did you feel the need to be so sneery?

Vile man @Differentstarts you are not alone. I often think of things that have been said to me. They range from the very horrible to just ‘why would you say that’? At a relative’s funeral who had died from a massive heart attack A random man came up to me and said ‘oh I had a heart attack but I managed to pull myself round from it’. As if my relative had just deliberately let themselves die! I agree with a PP if I get into a replaying of these comments I try to think of kind people who have helped me or said something nice to me.

It's that poster's MO.