What is the thing that put you off your counsellor?

[Springchickenhatching]

I am just wondering. I’ve been having some counselling about a family issue. Talking about family member who is autistic, she insisted that ‘most ND are bisexual ‘. The person concerned is definitely heterosexual and she wouldn’t accept that. It had nothing to do with the issue anyway! Just so odd.

It is true. You just wouldn’t be able to register with a governing body like BACP

Yesterday on You and Yours on Radio 4 the subject was about just that - anyone can call themselves a counsellor, therapist, even psychotherapist. Just about the only protection for a would-be client is to make sure their counsellor is registered with a regulatory organisation. But the programme went on to demonstrate that that is not much protection either, though better than nothing as they say they vet potential members of their register.
A really decent and qualified therapist, as well as belonging to the most reputable registers will have had quite lengthy therapy themselves. They will know about transference and the importance of professional boundaries, and much else. There is no way they should be talking about their own lives.

I can’t believe you don’t know counselling is not regulated in this country!!! Anyone can call themselves a counsellor, it is true you can set up a website and advertise and see people. Anyone can do it.

you cannot qualify by doing an online course if you want to a member of one of the five ethical counselling and or psychotherapy bodies in the UK

@MissHemsworth that's absolutely untrue if you're in the UK. There is no minimum qualification required for anyone to call themselves a counsellor.
Membership organisations like BACP etc will require a certain level of qualification to join. But they are membership organisations and there is no legal requirement for a counsellor or therapist to join any such organisation.

Many people can, and do, take online courses and set up in private practice.

This!

@MissHemsworth BACP are not a governing body, or regulatory body. They're a membership organisation. One of many.

Also sadly many accredited counselling courses only recommend trainees have their own counselling..😱 it’s not mandatory

same for clinical psychologists training

Depends on what your definition of qualified is I suppose. You can literally do zero courses and set yourself up as a counsellor. However you will not be able to register with the BACP, NCPS etc. This will also make many other aspects of the industry difficult for them as well. It is on the individual to do their research to ensure that their counsellor is legit/practices the modality that they require. Ie. don’t pick a person centred therapist if you want more feedback etc. like most industries there’s a certain amount of networking, a non registered counsellor wouldn’t be received very well.

Someone who simply sits there with a whiney/ artificially sad expression and just says "ah, how sad" and "oh, that's a terrible situation" at regular intervals. And pointless crap like "think about what would make you feel better" when you literally told them you feel like you are going to die. And finally "I'm sorry, our time is up" half way through you finally pouring your heart out. Like, fuck off.

As you can see, my experience with counselling has been great.

Some terrible and shocking experiences here. The profession should be regulated. There been a few cases of therapists abusing clients. It's a minefield for those who are seeking help to figure out the various qualifications and accreditations.
Psychotherapy is different from counselling, it's a higher (level 7) qualification. If a therapist is registered with UKCP it is mandatory for them to undergo years of personal therapy prior to working with clients.
This should mean that the therapist isn't going to send-disclose, judge, react with personal opinions etc
The therapist really should be a 'mirror' and help the client to figure out their own needs etc

It’s not mandatory to have therapy to be part of UKCP: depends who you trained with, but yes most courses they accredit would require it but not all

its not years either, maybe 3-4..hardly anything

see how confusing it all is

that said recent attempts at regulation failed because the govt didn’t understand the field and just went for a cheap option trying to fit all modalities under a CBT heading and catastrophically failed because that doesn’t work

it’s gonna be a while

You have to be very careful about choosing a therapist . Check their training experience and qualifications rigorously. Check they have been in therapy all through training. Some modalities are very lightweight and fluffy too.

The one who at the end of our first, and only, session told me that as she was adopted, my problems could not be as bad as hers.

😦😦

Counselors are really not meant to offer their own opinions. They are trained to listen and guide the client into the realization of how to reach a workable conclusion. Qualification is usually gained by part time courses and takes a great deal of work and supervision.

I had a counsellor who had a big problem with video games. I mentioned that my DH was gaming a bit too much for my liking and she really latched onto that like a dog with a bone and wouldn't let it go. Apparently playing Call of Duty was a fast track to being a violent abuser, as far as she was concerned. She'd bring it up every session even though I kept telling her it wasn't a big deal to me and I wanted to discuss other things. I eventually had to quit seeing her as she was so focussed on that. It was very strange.

trying to flog me extra paid private sessions (was seeing via GP)
his parting shot when I was being referred on to a psychatrist and stopped seeing him - telling me he didn't believe in SSRI medication

I had a few sessions about 4yrs ago…. She asked about my support at home in the first session, and when I said my partner’s name she said ‘I know him!’ (he has a distinctive first name, and I live in a small town 😆)
She used to drink in the same pub as him about 20yrs ago, (although he couldn’t remember her at all!)
when I left she said ‘well at least I know you have a good one at home’ ….. I absolutely do, but she made a judgement on that based on vaguely knowing him 20yrs before when he was late teens / early 20’s!! So she had no idea what my home life was like!

That is appalling I am so sorry. Would you feel able to report them?