Any discussion about ASD and ADHD inevitably spurs comments about parents pushing for a diagnosis, and IME this isn’t really true. It’s a clear symptom of an education system that’s failing thousands of children.
As for my adult diagnosis, there was input from my mother and sister. Where possible they do need corroborating evidence, but obviously as adults we may not have people in our lives able to do this. I would say though that i dont anyone diagnosed who doesn’t come across as obviously (to me) ASD/ADHD, but there is a thing where those of us on the spectrum recognise our own. NTs would be very unlikely to seek a diagnosis.
NTs are notoriously shit at recognising ASD/ADHD and would far rather assume and assert that we and our children are defective humans, this happens at school, with families, anywhere really, and leads to young people with these conditions often feeling disempowered and stuck in a victim mentality (as a pp mentioned), as that’s how they’ve been conditioned to behave, and we often feel like we have to be apologetic for taking up space. It’s shit.
My diagnosis has led me to being the most confident and empowered that I’ve ever been, because I can understand now why certain people have treated me badly in the past, and have been able to reframe several dark episodes of my life, and have developed much healthier self esteem, and trust my instincts better when people are dicks. I hope more young people can find this for themselves, despite the way they are often treated that leads to their poor self esteem and mental health.
As for whether they are disabilities - currently society is disabling far more people than necessary. Schools, by piling on pressure and sticking to rigid standards and not adapting to the changing population, are disabling thousands of children. I would bet good money that a change in approach would necessitate far fewer diagnoses.
But yeah, let’s carry on blaming those trying to navigate this really hard life we’re living right now.