News stories that stay with you and upset you

[PurpleSky300]

I've been reading the updates around the deaths of Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy tonight, and my God it's horrible. A comment I saw on Reddit described it as "Stephen King level of horrifying" and it really is, I can't stop thinking about it. Such a great actor, gets to a grand age of 95 and then... Alzheimer's takes his mind and he ends up living in the house with his wife's body for a week? and unable to feed/save their dog too? Unimaginable.

I've also been reading the court reports from the Kyle Clifford trial, the evil feral thing who murdered John Hunt's wife and daughters. That is evil beyond all belief.

These stories have rooted in my brain and I can't seem to distract myself. Has this happened to you, with news events? How do you cope with it?

When I saw your title, Kyle Clifford immediately came to mind. He tortured Louise. I have no doubt that if it wasn’t for the doorbell audio evidence & the final victim naming him, he wouldn’t have pled guilty to anything. He clearly did rape Louise and he likely made her aware he killed her mum. I dread to think what her final moments were like.

I agree with lots of these as having affected me at the time. In the same way that several PPs have mentioned having children of a similar age, the Gene Hackman story has affected me because my mother is almost 95 and yes, has had a good long life, lives alone and is physically and mentally fit at the moment. I text her and my sister calls her daily. We both see her several times a week. I don't like to think of her stumbling around confused. No, of course it doesn't compare to the absolute sheer horror of Sophie Hook.

Dunblane,Hungerford.

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas I often think of them too. One of the most upsetting stories I’ve ever read.

This was horrific. The images have stayed with me too.
Also the Hillsborough disaster. Colour photos in the newspapers were a new thing then and the front pages all in colour, just so shocking.
Plus anything involving children, the two stories mentioned of a parent dying and a child then alone, dying later… just unbearably tragic.
With the Gene Hackman story, that poor crated dog is very upsetting, given that both the adults died of natural causes.

When Sian O Callaghan was murdered in Swindon. I couldn't stop thinking about it and it still upsets me now.

Claire Throssell is the mum from the second half of your post.
She campaigns now on changing custody laws, but she says her life ended on that day and that she just exists now. I don't know how she gets out of bed every day.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwyw7vlnngdo" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwyw7vlnngdo.amp 

Now I could report you for that and you’d get a suspension from MN as you’re not supposed to use those emoji’s in a derogatory way, behind closed doors. Luckily for you I’ won’t!!

Maria Colwell. It was quite clear she didn't want to go home to her mother and stepfather, but social services insisted she had to.

A much more recent one, similar to the Joyce Vincent story (lady found in her flat having been dead for 3 years): Laura Winham.

Elaine Morrell, a mother of four found dead wearing her coat and scarf because her sickness benefits had stopped and she hadn't been able to put the heating on.

Genie Wiley, the wild child shut away iǹ a garage tied to a chair. Never learned to speak. Horrific.

TBF, the OP did ask if others felt this way, and how they deal with it. It was bound to end up with people giving examples.

Like you, I avoid the news. I hear it if I want and can quickly change the channel if I see or hear something distressing, and I'm not on any social media platforms such as FB, Instagram or Tiktoc.

How I deal with it is by recognising that whilst these cases are extremely horrific, they are also few in comparison to the amount of people on the earth. I'm not particularly fond of our human species, but I do think there are more good people than evil people.

I agree with so many of these posts, I remember these stories. Holly and Jessica, Sarah Everard, Daniel Pelka, just horrendous.

What I find so hard to cope with is how these things could happen to any of us and if you think about it too much - God, it would make you afraid to leave the house, it would stop you living. One bad relationship, one maniac, one "wrong place wrong time" and that's it, I can't get past that. I often think about the children's author Helen Bailey, who was killed by her partner. It turned out years later that he had also murdered his first wife and got away with it by arguing that she'd had a fatal epileptic fit.

The Gene Hackman thing made me think - God, who will check on me when I am old? Who will care, who cares now? His wealth and privilege didn't mean anything in the end, his kids didn't visit him for months, he would still be lying on the floor if it weren't for maintenance workers.

I try to believe in God and I try to believe that this life isn't the end but when you're confronted with so much suffering, it's hard to do.

Cases like Laura Winham also upset me because they remind me how appalling some of our local authorities and public services are. That someone could be severely mentally ill, with a history of delusional behaviour and hospitalisation, and yet be basically abandoned to starve in their flat.. what does that say about social services, safeguarding responsibility, the NHS and all these people who could have helped? Sometimes I am not just frightened to get old but frightened to get ill or lose capacity, and be at the absolute mercy of other people.

In lockdown a mum of twins was wfh on a conference call. Both babies (18 months old or thereabouts if I recall) were napping in their cots, one woke up, climbed out the cot, crawled out in to the garden, fell in the pond and drowned.

That haunts me because my children were similar age in lockdown and I felt so awful for the mum trying to work and hold it all together.

All of these horrendous stories have really taken me back

I was pregnant when Dunblane happened

Again pregnant when James Bulger was killed

Madeleine McCann

Absolutely heartbroken for both of those families affected

Jessica and Holly
Fred and Rose West
Daniel Pelka
Star Hobson
Sooo many more

I honestly cannot believe that atrocities such as Sudan / Gaza are still happening today

The world is a cruel cruel place

Little April Jones is the one who comes to my mind.

I‘m a news reporter working in regional media. Also a parent of a young child. Covered some truly horrific cases - the Manchester Arena attacks most notably, countless rape and murder trials, tragic inquests, interviewing people who’ve lost loved ones in the saddest circumstances. Spend every day absorbed in some of the worst stories imaginable (although I’m luckily on the periphery now and not frontline reporting anymore). The only way I can describe how we cope is there’s a switch and a shift into “work mode” and you have to disconnect part of your brain. I’m an extremely sensitive and empathetic person in my real life and I have to completely switch off that side of myself in my day to day. That said there are still stories and situations that get through my defences. The Southport attacks most recently and the war in Gaza. I still can’t visit the Arena attack memorials in Manchester without breaking down. That one hit extremely close to home. If you struggle to cope I’d advise restricting your news consumption or limiting it to set windows of the day. It can feel very pervasive now in a world of rolling coverage with social media and push alerts pinging disastrous updates 24/7. Look at your notifications, the accounts you’re following etc. I find it important to be aware of what’s going on in the world both professionally but also to bear witness. But I don’t think we were designed to do so in such a non-stop fashion and it’s important to put your own boundaries in place to protect your own well-being.

@PurpleSky300 I think it probably triggers our innate sense that community is failing. I think we would all feel happier about it if we channel some energy into community events - see real people, show them kindness and build bonds. That's the best line of defence for many things and helps with ageing worries as well as loneliness fears. I have to say though, I really only want to meet women and children at these things as over the years my trust in men not being slightly perverted or angry has diminished as the internet has grown.