What's your unofficial role in work?

[MamaAndTheSofa]

Chatting to a couple of friends the other day, we were discussing how we all have unofficial roles in work - roles that are never in any job description, but which someone has to do.

Mine is "Attender of funerals". When we feel we ought to send someone from the office to a funeral (eg a colleagues mum has died or something), it always ends up being me.

Another friend is the unofficial knot un-tier; if anyone has a knot they can't undo (which seems to happen ridiculously often in his work, as far as I can tell), they come to him and he undoes it.

Another friend is the one who always has hand cream.

What are yours?

Office mom.

The one who isn't afraid to tell the boss when he has overstepped the mark.
Sensible advisor to young colleagues.
I used to be the Comma Queen but such things are apparently increasingly less important even though I work in a school.

Queen of Office Tunes

I bring the vibes

Explainer of technology. I taught a 75 year old woman how to take a screenshot today. Harder than it sounds

I'm also the door opener, prescription courier, agony aunt and befriending service.

Weeding out bullshitters on interviews.

Random knower of procedures and policies.

I've just remembered another role I have somehow acquired at my current place of work. You know all those calls you get from time to time telling you that you need to change your utility/gas/electric/broadband/whatever supplier? They all get put through to me. I quite enjoy wasting as much of their time as I possibly can.

I fix stuff. I make stuff work. I know stuff.

People might not always know exactly what I'm for, but they'll know all about it if I'm not doing it.

Listener.

The amount of random people that come to me and say things like 'I haven't told anybody this but..' is unreal, I must have one of those faces. I'm not even HR!

Hahaha this is me. I never used to speak up, but nowadays I simply can’t be arsed with all the bullshit and I will challenge it, especially if the proposal will (as is usually the case) make more work for me.

I am also the Excel, SharePoint, Teams and Power Apps Guru. No matter that I have learned how to use them by googling and asking questions on Stack Exchange, apparently it is easier to ask me how to use them than to attempt to learn oneself.

Several of our blokes are providers of homemade baked goods without needing to be asked. Others are helpful/supportive in other ways. We are lucky with our team.

Always a full drawer of snacks. Plus sanitary stuff which i never use, so its always the younger girls helping them selves.

plus i have tweezers for those unruly chin hairs we find.

I make the best coffee. Other people make it too but either too weak or too strong because they can't count how many scoops are needed.

The one who went to the canteen to collect staff room milk. The one who had painkillers, needle and thread, teabags, any type of stationery you could name,deodorant spray, whatever.

One guy at work is the maker of random unique tools needed for one particular job, as he can make anything out of wood.

Provider of hand cream/painkillers/San pro/hair bobbles/perfume/tissues

I'm the one they send if they want to kick someone out/deal with angry customers/deal with anyone tricky

I'm known for being useless with anything IT or any bodily fluids (random lol)

Retail

Holder of the iPhone cable.

I have one for my work bag. No one else does!

Microsoft consultant and excel formula wizard- in all honesty I have basic skills in an office lacking it skills

Fitness consultant- people ask my gym and fitness advice

Buffet trailblazer - I am always the first to open the Buffett or cut into a team cake while everyone else is too scared to or embarrassed to look hungry

Spider catcher

I also have control of the office pritt stick.

I think my role might be The Woman That Proves The Prestigious Team Is Not Only Guys.

(My team *has a notoriously good reputation and is allegedly very hard to get into. I didn't apply for this role, yet was shoved into it. We have a massive gender problem in general.)

I'm the Urban Dictionary .... if there's a modern/slang phrase someone has heard banded about but they're not sure what it means I'm the "go to".

Nothing as interesting as explaining to your boss what a fluffer is.

I blame nearly 25 years of being on mumsnet...it's an education

Currently ACAS redundancy advisor but often fixer of monitor and charging cables on fancy stand up desks

I was the talking phone directory, it was quicker to ask me than for them to look up the phone number.

Arse wiper. If there's an arse than needs wiping somehow it always ends up being my job because a) I don't really care b) Everyone else says it's "not their job".

I work in a primary school.