My house doesn’t look like a showroom and I feel like the “odd one out”. What does your house look like?

[NewForestMum123]

I’m a mum to three children (aged five and under) and work part time 3 days a week. I’m noticing a lot of my peers like to keep their houses looking almost showroom level clean. (Although I will say there are a handful that I suspect have just cleaned up because they know I’m coming over.)

My house is not a showroom.

It’s clean… ish. Kitchen is always kept clean, toilets are regularly cleaned, and I hoover and mop a lot. But I don’t dust very often, my windows and glass doors are pretty gross with fingerprints.

And it is messy. There’s always laundry drying, there’s a junk model masterpiece on the dining room table, there’s a few toys with broken parts on the kitchen side, the hallway table has a pile of paper in desperate need of filing, there’s scuffs on the walls. Theres a table in the corner of the lounge with a pile of stuff which I honestly don’t even know what it is… from here I can identify a bauble that got waylaid and a hairbrush.

There are five people living in my house, including three children, and I think that’s exactly what it looks like. For the most part, I don’t really care. I seem to be forever doing jobs as it is! I’m shattered, generally.

But I’m curious what others opinions are of messy houses. Do you also keep a messy house and can reassure me I’m not the odd one out? And for those who keep “showroom” houses, how badly are you judging me?

My house does not look like a show home because I like colour, books photographs, and music, I have 3 bloody great hounds and there are dog beds and various dog toys including a 6’ long Cleo the caterpillar who is carted about the house. My kitchen is clean but functional.
I can’t be doing with perfect show homes because, if you can’t ‘live’ in your home, then what is the point of life x
Your home sounds lovely and normal.

Untidy and a bit cluttered. I try to do all the housework in one day each week which means it doesn’t always get finished.

My home has never been tidy or totally spotless. Life is too short to be constantly cleaning.

Sometimes I do wish our house was more tidy, which spurs on a declutter, but it’s impossible to stay on top of it all whilst working and juggling family life.

A number of years ago, a friend who lives in an ultra tidy house told me that she always felt she could relax in my house as it was homely and felt welcoming. That caught me by surprise as I always felt she must have thought our house was really messy compared to theirs.

Nah, mines a shit hole at the moment.

There's me, DH and DS 6.

And tbh, we're all a bit lazy.

But at the moment it's far worse than I'm happy with. Going to try and have a sort out this weekend.

Just like everyone else my time on earth is limited. I’m not going to waste any more of it keeping a showcase level of house clean.

There’s an old saying - paraphrased -

‘’No one on their death bed has ever lamented that they didn’t do enough house cleaning.’’

Being poor when my children were little, just like my grandmother and mother before me I kept a spotless house. I lived in a very old run down apartment in a lovely wealthy area (which meant my kids had access to an excellent local school, beaches, parks etc) but that meant everyone around me had beautiful homes. So the best I could do, I thought, was present my home as spotless.

Looking back it was just a waste of time I could have spent doing other things I enjoy with my kids or for myself. Above a certain level
of hygiene it’s waste of time - for me.

My kitchen, bathroom, en suite, and cloakroom are all purposely minimalist to facilitate easy cleaning. The rest of the house is best described as lived-in. If people have a problem with that they needn't bother to visit. Life's too short to live to other people's standards in my own home.

When my dad remarried age 12, I moved into a show home with my sm. We even had a “best” front room that we had to keep for when guests came round. Not my guests though. I never felt comfortable having friends round and spent most of my life in my bedroom. It was miserable.
I’m now 50 and still friends with 3 girls from back then, even now they remember the room we weren’t allowed to go in.
I do the opposite. I keep my house reasonably clean and tidy, but I never want my son to live how I did, so I’ve never cared about mess or him having friends round. We have certain rules like no food or dogs upstairs, but it’s certainly not a show home, it’s a home and hopefully a happy one.

Lived in and cluttered, plus messy ASD teens with special interests on display, model works often in progress.. ADHD me trying to do my best but crap at being organised, but a warm welcome to unexpected visitors and coffee guaranteed . Mortified at the state of it some days 😱 but the general feedback is that people seem to love coming and can properly relax as it’s comfortable.. 🤷‍♀️ (shabby shit in my opinion !)

There are just 2 of us now so it's easy to keep tidy. I can't abide mess. Coats and shoes are always put away , even when the children were little. They are definitely not for decorative purposes. I always think, we spent a lot of time and money on this house so we look after it. However, I do not give a shiny shit about anyone else's house. Not my circus. I also figure I am not important enough to be judged by anyone.

My house is clean & tidy but lived in & looking a bit tired so needs to be redecorated. The floor need to be done the walls need to be repainted but it is clean though not entirely clutter free.

It is impossible to raise kids, work, give time to your kids, sort all school emails and play dates and get them to school on time every day, find time for you, your relationship, your friends, cook, clean up from cooking, buy food AND keep your house tidy and clean (Unless you have a cleaner)
something has to give. You decide which it is to be
I prioritised time with my kids
House was a mess
I let teenagers all come over Friday nights
Now they have left its tidier but I don't regret the time spent with them
Sit on sofa and cuddle and read them an extra book. Sit on floor with all the jigsaws out. If you are tired then rest and sod rhe cleaning and ignore the judgey people. They can f off with their show homes as far as I am concerned

Do they know when you’re calling in? I once called into a friend’s house to drop something off and her house looked more like mine than the show house it usually was. She admitted a long time later she cleans obsessively before any play dates or friends coming over and is exhausted by it.

I am one of the show home families, we have 5 daughters and a nanny living here so the only way to keep it clean and tidy is to go to the extreme. We have been training our daughters since being very young to put away. Now they occasionally push back but are pretty automated tp do things like empty school bags, put coats and shoes away, put toys back on shelves and cupboards etc.

It's easier if ypu have space for everything to go but I suspect it's also resultant from me being an architect and being particular about spaces we live in and my husband being a surgeon and used to sterile spaces. We both are probably a bit obsessive.

I wouldn't judge what you describe to be honest.

I could happily have an Estate Agent in to take photos within minutes. My house is tidy, clean and uncluttered.

My ex would walk in and mess a perfectly tidy house up within minutes, he left dirty dishes on top of the dishwasher, clothes on the floor next to the laundry basket. Walk past the key hooks and leave keys on the coffee table. It was pure laziness and I hated it.

My home is warm and welcoming but it's tidy and clean with everything in its place. I also have a rule that if I buy say a new fruit bowl or rug, the old one goes to charity (one in one out).

When I was a child (in the 60s) our house was always a mess - the worst kept in the street. As a teenager I was ashamed to bring friends home although DM would always welcome them and would feed anyone still around at meal times. My friends loved coming to my house as they could relax and be themselves but I was always mortified by the mess everywhere. Her sister, my aunt, was the polar opposite. Her house was frighteningly clean and tidy. If you put something down (a book or a cup) it was immediately whisked away and returned to its correct place. Her son never had friends over
ive tried to aim for the middle ground - clean-ish, tidy-ish but my children and now grandchildren can make as much mess as they like but it’s sorted by bedtime but things like models and building projects can stay

My house isn't a showroom either...it's just a normal house...not filthy, not cluttered, just normal.

I am in the minority amongst my friends though. I know one woman with three teenagers....I went to her house and was totally baffled, there wasn't a single sign that teenagers lived there. My house isn't dirty or messy but if you came over you'd know straight away that teens live there. Ds will have left his hoody on the side, DDS homework will be in the kitchen table etc

It’s harder with children. I liked to have a box for toys, it was a big wicker hamper that I threw them in at night. Downstairs is always guest ready as is the bathroom, my bedroom is not as good. But we have great storage and keep clutter down.

My house is clean but some of the decor is dated, needs a refresh, not everything matches a colour scheme, needs a few jobs doing. It's clean, hygienic and definitely liveable and I'm beyond caring!

My house looks as though squirrels on lsd have been set loose in it.

My Sister used to say, comparison is the thief of joy. Your home sounds happy and lived in, not clinical and restricting. We have 3 big dogs and the house is small, before I had any dogs years ago my first wee home was a show home. Boring and clinical, when my first dog arrived omg life changed and I loved it.

This. People are always saying on here ‘No one will wish on their deathbed they’d spent more time working’ (which I think depends on your job — I will definitely wish I’d written more). On my deathbed I will definitely not wish my house had been tidier.

I don’t know anyone of either sex who is remotely houseproud. Or has a concept of ‘visitor-ready’. I wonder if the amount of concern with house cleaning on Mn is related to the disproportionate numbers on here who struggle with friendships and seem to prefer to stay at home a lot?

I grew up in a show home house and I would never inflict that on my children. It was stressful and I still hate being in my parents house now.

My house is always clean and tidy, and visitor ready. In case I get a visitor.

And I have plenty of friends and don't struggle with friendships, so if one of them wants to pop by I'm not madly tidying before they get here (although I do that anyway).

I try my best but you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear. Lots of things need doing but can't afford to do it so looks very shabby. So however much I clean it still looks bad.

It wouldn’t even occur to me to tidy before a visitor.