My house doesn’t look like a showroom and I feel like the “odd one out”. What does your house look like?

[NewForestMum123]

I’m a mum to three children (aged five and under) and work part time 3 days a week. I’m noticing a lot of my peers like to keep their houses looking almost showroom level clean. (Although I will say there are a handful that I suspect have just cleaned up because they know I’m coming over.)

My house is not a showroom.

It’s clean… ish. Kitchen is always kept clean, toilets are regularly cleaned, and I hoover and mop a lot. But I don’t dust very often, my windows and glass doors are pretty gross with fingerprints.

And it is messy. There’s always laundry drying, there’s a junk model masterpiece on the dining room table, there’s a few toys with broken parts on the kitchen side, the hallway table has a pile of paper in desperate need of filing, there’s scuffs on the walls. Theres a table in the corner of the lounge with a pile of stuff which I honestly don’t even know what it is… from here I can identify a bauble that got waylaid and a hairbrush.

There are five people living in my house, including three children, and I think that’s exactly what it looks like. For the most part, I don’t really care. I seem to be forever doing jobs as it is! I’m shattered, generally.

But I’m curious what others opinions are of messy houses. Do you also keep a messy house and can reassure me I’m not the odd one out? And for those who keep “showroom” houses, how badly are you judging me?

Just to say your house sounds lived in and full of joy. I wouldn’t put much pressure on yourself, your kids won’t remember fingerprints on windows they’ll remember the fun and mess :)

I used to keep a showroom house when my dc were little. I think part of it was that it just seemed chaotic all the time so my trying to control how clean everything was gave me some sort of control. Oddly enough now they’re older - 21 (!) and 13 I couldn’t give a rats arse about any of it. I keep fairly clean; but it’s lived in and loved in. I’d rather watch Tv, do some gardening or go for a walk than fiddle about cleaning everything non stop. It’s such a waste of time and life.

I think some people are very influenced by social media where people display their spotless houses.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as your house is hygienic, it doesn't matter. I'm not particularly impressed by people who do nothing but clean.

I don't feel comfortable in a house that looks like a show home. Don't get me wrong, I have friends who think I'm houseproud, and compared to them I am. Dishes are washed, floors vacuumed, and laundry put away promptly. But I don't stress about stuff being left out, or the odd dusty surface, or wiping down skirting boards. I have better things to do.

My house is showroom level of tidiness (because I hate clutter and tidy up as I go along), but normal levels of clean (i.e. hoover once or twice a week, dust once or twice a week, deep clean of bathrooms once or twice a week - obviously kitchen surfaces wiped/toilet cleaned multiple times per day and any obvious spills dirt cleaned up as we go). The house always looks and smells fresh and clean, laundry is always done and put away, but I'm sure dust or jobs needing done could be found if someone went over it with a fine tooth comb.

Unless a house was actually filthy, I wouldn't really judge. There are one or two people's houses I wouldn't eat in or use the loo in - but they're TV show levels of filth (caused by MH issues), not general family untidiness or mess. And I don't even "judge" those, I just feel awfully sad about it.

I like to think mine is clean (particularly loos and kitchen), cosy and welcoming. Perhaps a touch wacky. But l don’t want to live in a showroom.

My kids are older and my house is fairly tidy and clean, other than DC's teen bedrooms which are messy as hell (although I won't tolerate dirty). But with 3 under 5 there's only so much you can do. It's like shovelling snow during a blizzard. I don't judge messy houses, and even things like an unflushed loo wouldn't bother me in a house with young kids.

One thing I would say - paperwork - get everything possible online. It makes a big difference because it's not lying around and you dont need space for filing. And broken toys? Just chuck them.

I think it sounds completely normal. Young children tend to play downstairs so all their toys, paintings and random bit of whatever are in the living spaces. I always remember a friend coming to mine, we both had babies the same age which is how we met and she said your lounge is always tidy. I opened a massive wicker chest where I had literally just thrown in all the toys that were usually all over my lounge.

The best thing that we we ever did was have a playroom that I could close the door on, so half made lego sets, massive train track layouts could be hidden away ready for the next day. It left the lounge as a grown up space which I kept tidy.

Laundry is always a difficult one unless again you have a room for it either a spare room or a utility. The only thing that motivated me to keep on top of it was a friend was evacuated from her house following a gas leak and she hadn't put clothing away meaning it was a mad frantic rush to be able to grab what she needed for her, the children and her husband who was at work. After that I stayed on top of it but again I have a tumble dryer and a utility.

Right now we are mid DIY project so there is no point packing away tools we need again. My children are now adults so I can leave out paint or a chop saw (currently in the kitchen as it is close to the back door and where the chopping took place, by me, I am very handy) and my dining room has new doors stashed in there ready to instal tomorrow.

I think a spotless home looks a bit soulless. I admire it but it is not for me.

"Dust if you Must" is a lovely poem and very true.

Your house sounds fine and normal.

I think some people have tidy houses becuase they are naturally tidy. And others put huge amounts of pressure on themselves. And it's just not worth it.

You could clean all the grubby fingerprints off your doors, but you'll just have to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next...

Life is too short.

My house is clean and organised, it’s not a showroom.

It’s always been like this, way before all these declutter programs appeared and social media showing people how to clean.

I think for some people the need to have the house “insta” ready is for social media.

I do have days where I cannot be bothered, but I have to put on a wash every day and keep ontop of it otherwise it gets overwhelming.

I clean our house for us, not for friends, family or social media.

Around the level where it looks like it is reasonably tidy,but not show home.

There's a jumble of wellies on the porch, too many coats in the coat hooks (and scarves and bags and anything else!)

But at least they're hanging up and not on the floor.

My friends house, they take their coats upstairs so as not to clutter the entryway. Wellies are all on sticks etc nothing out, all toys tidied away the moment they're played with (no setting up a railway...then adding animals... And then wandering off to okay outside and coming back and adding toy soldiers etc...)

she spends a lot of time cleaning and tidying, and arranging things just so... The kids bedrooms are fairly sterile as a result. Like bed, artfully placed cushions..4 books on display for the 5 year old

My 5yo kids room currently has cuddlies Nd dressing up clothes on the bed, a pile of books spread across the floor, the drawers aren't all quite shut etc..

I can't be arsed, nobody ever wished they'd cleaned and tidied more when ok their deathbed!!!

There are only us 2 adults here now

Show home level we are not - and I would be embarrassed to have the time to make it so - I have a life to live

Clean enough ( don't look at the windows ) tidy enough ( for us )

Echo the deathbed comment !

Well this is very reassuring! Thank you everyone. Such nice replies.

@LaPalmaLlama hit the nail on the head “shovelling snow on a blizzard”. I’m keeping on top of it, but I generally don’t feel like I’m winning.

@Ionut I think the people with no shoes and no coats in the porch and hallway are exactly the people that confuse me. I’m never going to be able to keep up that standard!

Live alone with small dog so no excuse really. Also retired so really no excuse. However after years of having a showroom home (no dog at that time and a very tidy husband) I seem to have reverted to being a slob now.

I partly blame the dog cos he's a messy wee thing and always ripping stuffing out his toys and leaving half eaten dog chews everywhere. He also likes to tip the cushions off the sofas and no rugs is sorted until he has bunched it up into a pile (no idea why he does this). I do straighten them but he just bunches them back up again so. He's definately messier to live with than ex husband. He also has a fondness for picking bits out of his dog bowl and smearing what he does not want onto the floor or rugs. (he's very cute but quite disgusting)

I think when I was out working and husband was also out working it was easy to keep clean as it was just the two of us with no pets and we were out alot.

Now I'm home for most of the time (bit of a homebuddy really) and I'm always emptying and reloading the dishwasher so the kitchen always seems to be a mess. Laundry gets hung up around house and left there till I want to wear it. (Smallish kitchen and no utility room).

However as I live alone and am an unsociable old git these days any mess does not impact anyone except me.

Nobody who knew me in my old 'showhouse' days would believe it. What's changed. Who knows. I'm older, my priorities are different, I'm knackered caring for elderly parents, I have pets, I see now how short life is.

I had to stay at a neighbours house one night when I locked myself out my house. He lives alone too but his house was soooo tidy. It did give me nightmares for a while that if someone had to stay with me unexpectedly I would have to rush round cleaning bathrooms etc.

To be fair my house is at that age where the kitchen is needing replaced so looks tired and dated and a bit scabby round the edges. So even when I clean up it still looks a bit unclean if that makes sense.

Planning to move in next year or two. Not necessarily somewhere bigger but somewhere more suitable for my needs. I'm hoping I can buy a house someone has updated but if not (assuming it's my forever home) I will update it. I think it is easier to keep clean if the kitchen/bathrooms are newer etc.

So definately no showhome here although I do keep the outside tidy for the sake of the road looking decent.

I guess my house is a bit of a show room but it's not a show room for other people - it's for me.

I have a cupboard under stairs for coats and shoes, so, not that confusing. I tidy as I go, I have a cleaner once a week who takes the place apart and does a thorough job.

I just like it because I feel calmer and happier in a tidy clean home. I don't judge anyone else for how tidy their homes are.

My house is definitely "lived in" but fairly clean. We have a long-haired cat so we vacuum and mop nearly every day. Kitchen surfaces and the table are cleaned multiple times a day. The bathroom gets a wipe-over and bleach a couple of times a week and a deeper clean maybe twice a month... The skirting boards could do with a dust! I tend to have a big declutter once or twice a year. It builds up but nowhere near hoarder levels.

I'd love a shiny, clutter-free home but frankly CBA. I only judge people for dirty houses if it's unsafe for their children or pets. Otherwise, it's just a bit sad.

It sounds like you’re on track, and you know what needs to be done next.

You really do need to dust. Once you get rid of ‘mess’ - piles of junk, etc - dusting will actually be easier! Can you buy some more storage for kids toys etc?

On bin day grab a black bag and just spend 5 mins flying around the house throwing in stuff that nobody touches/is broken/is dusty and unwanted. Then just fling it out with the bin.

Very much what I was going to say! I grew up in a very tidy house and it's not relaxing, not for a slob like me, anyway. I enjoyed visiting friends' houses that were much more lived in and where I didn't constantly feel slightly anxious about leaving a mark on a polished surface or knocking over an ornament. Your house sounds lovely.

Dearest OP, life is far too short to spend all your time doing housework and cleaning. Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

My house is far from immaculate. Do I care? No.

The current trend of living up to others expections is really not healthy. You live your life for you and your family, nothing you do or don’t do impacts anyone else.

My house is usually clean & tidy because I grew up in a neglectful and chaotic home and being clean and tidy makes me feel calm and in control. But anyone who comes to your home and judges it shouldn’t be welcome in it. And that is true of people who sneer at tidy homes as well as messy ones.

My daughter got a craft set for her birthday and she loves to use the glitter that’s all I will say 😂

I wouldn’t worry about what others think of your house as long as you are happy with it. I have a show room style house, it’s just how we are and there are only 3 of us here. When I go to others houses I don’t really consider the fact their house might be different to ours. Rather like if a friend wears a dress I would never wear or wouldn’t suit, I don’t really think much of it!

My house definitely has that 'lived in' look and I've got no DCs at home and we're both retired!

I went to a friend's house for the 1st time recently, and the house was the polar opposite if mine. There was no stuff visible anywhere - except furniture obviously. In a huge kitchen there was not a single item on the worktop. In fact it almost looked like nobody lived there, inspite of there being 4 occupants. Must be really easy to keep clean but that was the only positive I could think of.

It's your house have it how you like

My house is always clean and tidy, but only because I can't relax if it's not! I couldn't sit down and have a cup of tea if I could see stuff that needs to be put away... I really don't care what other people's houses look like though, it's only in my house that mess bothers me!