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Original poster

Should I migrate with my autistic 4year old ?!

39 replies

crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:15

Hey everyone I'm 24years old and my son is 4years old only child he's autistic non verbal but can express his needs and wants we both are having such a hard time right now well more me than him I just believe he's not thriving the way he needs to be in the uk

We recently went on holiday to the Caribbean and I've never seen him so happy he was even improving with his words and he was eating so much food I was shocked bec I would have such a hard time at meal times with him here in the uk

He made so much friends and he was playing and just having such a great time
Since we've came back in November he's been finding it hard to settle back into nursery always crying not wanting to stay there when I show him pictures of him on holiday he's always crying and pointing at his toy plane basically suggesting he wants to go back ... because of his behaviour at school I've been missing meetings, training sessions at gym, appointments because he has to miss days

I don't know what to do and right now my mental health is horrible I just feel stuck

Basically my question is should I just go ahead and make a better life for my son in a place where he thrives so well

Thank you x

OP posts:
Treeleaf11 · 06/03/2025 10:18

You were on holiday then though. Won't it be the same if you migrated and you would have to work and he would have to go to nursery there.

Octavia64 · 06/03/2025 10:19

Many countries require a health check on children if you want to move there.

I know my brother had to get full medical checks on his children to confirm no medical issues at all before he emigrated to new Zealand.

Do you think you can meet the paperwork requirements?

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:20

@Treeleaf11 it's a complete different lifestyle there though there's no comparison to depressing uk to the Caribbean when we was there I made him go to a nursery and he loved it he only went for a week just wanted to see how he would do

OP posts:

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4 year olds Families
Overthebow · 06/03/2025 10:20

Are you able to just move there? What are the e visa requirements, can you earn enough to live there, are there support services for your DS available for education?

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:22

@Overthebow that's my issue is that because he's autistic but tbh there's not much help in London either is there for children with autism waited for a year for him to be diagnosed and when he finally was guess what they said oh we don't offer any much support you can drop in at classes for advice I was shocked not even speech therapy

OP posts:
Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:23

@Octavia64 yes I wouldn't have a problem only thing I have is asthma and my son no previous issues just autism

OP posts:
Tradersinsnow · 06/03/2025 10:23

Do you meet the immigration requirements? What are the disability provisions? Would you be able to access them?

Overthebow · 06/03/2025 10:23

crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:22

@Overthebow that's my issue is that because he's autistic but tbh there's not much help in London either is there for children with autism waited for a year for him to be diagnosed and when he finally was guess what they said oh we don't offer any much support you can drop in at classes for advice I was shocked not even speech therapy

But there is support in schools when he gets to school if he can get an ECHP. There’s also the disability benefits in the UK which could help if he has higher needs later on and you can’t work as much.

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:23

@Overthebow I am currently in the process of running a Airbnb apartment there currently going though the paperwork's so that would be my main income

OP posts:
Tradersinsnow · 06/03/2025 10:24

crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:23

@Octavia64 yes I wouldn't have a problem only thing I have is asthma and my son no previous issues just autism

Most countries won't allow immigration 'just autism' even very mild autism

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:25

@Tradersinsnow Jamaica doesn't have a issue with it form my knowledge

OP posts:
Jennifershuffles · 06/03/2025 10:25

It's a slightly mad idea but some of the best ones are.
Practically I'd consider:
Money - can you get a job there? What would it pay? What's the cost of living? How often would you want to come back & would it be prohibitively costly?
Healthcare- what's it like there? What's the cost of it?
Support network - what would you be leaving behind? How easy would it be to integrate culturally? What is childcare like there?
Reversing the decision - if you hate it after a couple of years, would it be possible to return?

If that all checks out, why not give it a try?

frozendaisy · 06/03/2025 10:32

Why not try going for as long as a visitor visa will allow first. Once AirB&B up and running and you have a trusted agent looking after it, because you are a long way if something went wrong.

And take it from there.

You could perhaps look at other Caribbean islands, get to understand how to prepare for hurricanes and tropical storms. See what every day to day life is really like.

But in some ways why not go for it! There must be many reasons film stars all have places in Barbados!

WallaceinAnderland · 06/03/2025 10:34

Do you meet the visa requirements OP?

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:44

@WallaceinAnderland one of my parents are Jamaican and once you have a parent or grandparent that's is Jamaican i am allowed to stay I would just have To apply

OP posts:
Pinkandcake · 06/03/2025 10:46

I think I’d be off like a shot

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/03/2025 10:49

Has your Jamaican parent ever lived in Jamaica? If so, that’s a good place to start as a sounding board: they’ll have some idea of navigating things like employment, housing, education, healthcare and so on.

You do need to be realistic. Daily life is daily life wherever you are, when you have to work and care for a child full time absolutely alone there may not be as much time for relaxing in white sandy beaches as you anticipated.

MeanderingGently · 06/03/2025 10:50

Personally, I would give it a go. It sounds as though you have a plan and are aware of the immigration/legal requirements.
I say this as a parent whose child had some disabilities; he is an adult now but if I could have taken him somewhere where he was generally happier and where he thrived better, I would have done so.

There is no harm in trying, it may or may not work out. Hopefully it will but you'll never know unless you try. If it doesn't, you will still know you have tried. Have the confidence and I wish you good luck!

Original poster
crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:54

@ComtesseDeSpair I have family in
Jamaica yes my mum was born and raised there she owns her own house and has two cars there also tbh I have more help
In Jamaica with family and friends than I do in the uk

I've been travelling to Jamaica from a little girl this is not just a place I vacation in I call it home

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 06/03/2025 10:57

If you family help and income I would go there.

Shinyandnew1 · 06/03/2025 10:58

crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:54

@ComtesseDeSpair I have family in
Jamaica yes my mum was born and raised there she owns her own house and has two cars there also tbh I have more help
In Jamaica with family and friends than I do in the uk

I've been travelling to Jamaica from a little girl this is not just a place I vacation in I call it home

That probably would have been useful information to include in your OP! In that case, if you're family are all there, I would be looking into it seriously. What's stopped you before? Where is your child's father?

I was shocked not even speech therapy

Speech therapy doesn't tend to come as part of an autism diagnosis but separately, through an NHS referral.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 06/03/2025 10:58

Sounds good to me

Whatisthisbs · 06/03/2025 11:00

I would go like a shot OP. If you have a support network already there, then yes definitely

averythinline · 06/03/2025 11:00

Well nows the time to try before you get to the school stuff.... Although i would guess a big part of the more relaxed feel for him was you weren't working... And he wasn't neded to be following routines etc in nursery or dealing with other kids ...
Also being outside with space can be just freer ..

Maybe just try for months if you can... The next big milestone is school so there will be a process for that.could be delayed/impacted but equally you may decide to stay there permanently...

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/03/2025 11:01

crazymamacakes · 06/03/2025 10:54

@ComtesseDeSpair I have family in
Jamaica yes my mum was born and raised there she owns her own house and has two cars there also tbh I have more help
In Jamaica with family and friends than I do in the uk

I've been travelling to Jamaica from a little girl this is not just a place I vacation in I call it home

A lot of this added detail would have been useful in your OP, which made it sound as though you were a tourist who’d just been on a fortnight’s holiday to a Jamaican resort and decided that was going to be your forever life now. That you are Jamaican, have immediate family in Jamaica, have property in Jamaica, have local connections and people to help you navigate living there makes the situation very different. If you don’t need to worry about working, have more family and support in Jamaica than you do in the U.K. and have your mum’s home you can move into, it’s a perfectly sound idea to give it a try.

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