Should I migrate with my autistic 4year old ?!

[crazymamacakes]

Hey everyone I'm 24years old and my son is 4years old only child he's autistic non verbal but can express his needs and wants we both are having such a hard time right now well more me than him I just believe he's not thriving the way he needs to be in the uk

We recently went on holiday to the Caribbean and I've never seen him so happy he was even improving with his words and he was eating so much food I was shocked bec I would have such a hard time at meal times with him here in the uk

He made so much friends and he was playing and just having such a great time
Since we've came back in November he's been finding it hard to settle back into nursery always crying not wanting to stay there when I show him pictures of him on holiday he's always crying and pointing at his toy plane basically suggesting he wants to go back ... because of his behaviour at school I've been missing meetings, training sessions at gym, appointments because he has to miss days

I don't know what to do and right now my mental health is horrible I just feel stuck

Basically my question is should I just go ahead and make a better life for my son in a place where he thrives so well

Thank you x

@Shinyandnew1 my sons dad is from London he's a great help and support with our son he's amazing what's stopped me before my mum and brother and sister lives here in London

If you have family living in Jamaica, there's a support network, you're aware of the immigration and healthcare system, then go! You have little to lose. I have to ask, if your son's Father is in the picture, then you would need his permission to move abroad. Just bare in mind holidaying somewhere is vastly different from living there permanently.

yes my mum was born and raised there she owns her own house and has two cars there

But she lives in London? Is it your dad that lives in Jamaica?

What about his father? Is he in the UK?

@Shinyandnew1 my dad is half South Korean and Dominican republican

@BodenCardiganNot his dad lives in the uk he's a great support

But will he approve his child going to live a long flight away?

Hmm. I have two children with additional needs. One has autism and the other ADHD. When things were at their worst, I often looked into moving away, thinking that it would be the magic bullet. My dad was Jamaican so Jamaica was a consideration. I also ended up buying a house in Bulgaria! I was depressed myself because sometimes the situation can often feel so hopeless. I don't want to tell you it's a daydream - your situation is different to mine as in, you have support out there, however the grass can always seem greener. Things to consider;

• Jamaica have school really good schools. I actually looked around one. Their behaviour is much better there. I was a teacher and it looked like a dream! However, Jamaica usually have strict parents and a strict system, would they be as accepting of a child with autism who may be disruptive later on? I don't know the answer to that as I don't know their SEN system.

• Jamaica can be a very dangerous place. I'm sure that you're aware of that.

• As your child gets older, more things will be put in place for him educationally. You've got your diagnosis and that's a huge step even though it may not feel like it now.

• I know that you need to work however, you're also a carer. I tried to force mine into a mainstream system and my resistance to his differences caused hell for our family.

• Also, it's hard to get accommodation in London. Will London still be an option for you should you choose to move back?

Overall, I think you need to reflect whether you're in the midst of a really tough time where you're trying to spin so many plates or, whether you truly believe deep down that it would work out better for you our there.

I really wish you all the best with your decision x

@twilightermummy thank you so much for this advice reading this really brought tears to my eyes hearing you went through a similar situation it's really hard and I feel
Helpless right now in so many ways

I will definitely take your advice in consideration and make sure find out information about their support with child with additional needs

In that case, I would be off like a shot!

Will his dad agree to his son emigrating?

I think the point about schools in Jamaica is the most important thing, as your son is coming up to school age now. This is where you need to do your research, and make sure he will get proper support once he starts school full time in a few years.

If your son's dad allows it then I'd be off like a shot.

That didn't quite answer my question. Do you have a parent currently living permanently in Jamaica?