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Original poster

Do I pull 3YO out of nursery whilst on mat leave?

42 replies

Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 17:40

Wondering if anyone has done this… DS1 started nursery at 8 months (3 days a week). He’s now in pre school and loves it. Has loads of friends and seems to do really well there. Occasional tears at drop off as he’s always been quite clingy. Couldn’t wait for the 30 free hours to come in. I was aware that there would be free hours plus a small top up. Turns out the pre school top up is more - £360 a month. Ouch.

DS2 is 4 months old. Today my pay went to statutory and I’m so worried about how we’ll pay the bills and nursery. DH works but with mortgage, bills, cost of living etc it’s going to be a real struggle (I go back to work in July and then properly in September - I’m a teacher). We already scrimp and try not to spend. Had a letter from the nursery today to say that fees are increasing and it will be £550 a month!

Considering pulling DS1 out of nursery for now. We’ve applied for a school nursery place for September but I fear that he’ll really struggle with being dropped off somewhere when he hasn’t been to nursery in 7 months. Has anyone ever done this? How did your child get on?

OP posts:
Blubbles · 28/02/2025 17:42

Wasn't there a thread about how they can't charge extra during the funded hours??

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 17:51

Blubbles · 28/02/2025 17:43

I’ll have a read - thank you!

OP posts:

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AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 28/02/2025 17:54

I kept mine in 3 days a week but our top up is only about £65 a month! My whole bill was only 300 (he does dance and first school included with that too)

CuteKoalas · 28/02/2025 17:55

If you pull him you may not be able to get another place there after.

roses2 · 28/02/2025 17:58

Can you reduce hours instead of take him out?

YouveGotAFastCar · 28/02/2025 17:58

I don’t think it’s true that they can’t charge top up fees. I’ve asked a few people and called Childcare choices and nobody seems to think they’ve been banned.

Our fees are just under £500 for two days, using 14 funded hours spread across the year. It’s insane. I’m really considering keeping my 3 year old at home too. We tried term-time only but it was a nightmare; the weeks you really need nursery are the busy ones where everything is twice as expensive and busy! And I’ve talked to them about less hours; but two days is the minimum at my nursery.

TickingAlongNicely · 28/02/2025 17:58

Would reducing his days be an option?

Imenti · 28/02/2025 18:04

How many hours is he doing? We can't access the 30 hours funding at our nursery unless my daughter is doing 30 hours minimum. She only does 29 at the moment and if we continued like this she would still only get 15 hours funding. So we've upped to 31 hours from September, which means we only have to pay 1 hour a week plus food. Just worth a check as £550 a month sounds a lot - I think ours will be around £250.

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:19

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 28/02/2025 17:54

I kept mine in 3 days a week but our top up is only about £65 a month! My whole bill was only 300 (he does dance and first school included with that too)

Edited

That’s so good! I think we’ve chosen the most expensive nursery in the area. I purposely planned DS2 at a time where he’d have the ‘free’ hours

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:20

CuteKoalas · 28/02/2025 17:55

If you pull him you may not be able to get another place there after.

He’s at a day nursery at the moment. We’ve applied for the school nursery at our nearest primary school so he’d be going there instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:22

YouveGotAFastCar · 28/02/2025 17:58

I don’t think it’s true that they can’t charge top up fees. I’ve asked a few people and called Childcare choices and nobody seems to think they’ve been banned.

Our fees are just under £500 for two days, using 14 funded hours spread across the year. It’s insane. I’m really considering keeping my 3 year old at home too. We tried term-time only but it was a nightmare; the weeks you really need nursery are the busy ones where everything is twice as expensive and busy! And I’ve talked to them about less hours; but two days is the minimum at my nursery.

Edited

Its madness! I thought about asking for term time only as that will be the reality when he’s at a school nursery but I think they have limited contracts. It’s worth asking I suppose - thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:25

Imenti · 28/02/2025 18:04

How many hours is he doing? We can't access the 30 hours funding at our nursery unless my daughter is doing 30 hours minimum. She only does 29 at the moment and if we continued like this she would still only get 15 hours funding. So we've upped to 31 hours from September, which means we only have to pay 1 hour a week plus food. Just worth a check as £550 a month sounds a lot - I think ours will be around £250.

He does 3 days which is 30 hours. I’m on a teacher contract so he does 3 days in term time and 1.5 days in school holidays.

OP posts:
Iwasjustasking · 28/02/2025 18:46

Is he three? If so why not swap him to school nursery, it’s free and if you are a teacher you don’t need the childcare in the holidays.

Iwasjustasking · 28/02/2025 18:48

Sorry just re read your original post, sorry! Remember a lot of children at school nursery will never have been to nursery before so he will be in the same situation as a lot of other children, fwiw I swapped my child to school nursery at three and she has been in nursery from six months and she still struggled.

Albanyriver · 28/02/2025 18:49

Look at shared parental leave. At least then you can be paid for May half term holiday (too late for Easter unfortunately now). Also, you do not have to go back before the summer to get full pay. You can “return to work” on the Saturday that the holidays start.

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:50

Iwasjustasking · 28/02/2025 18:46

Is he three? If so why not swap him to school nursery, it’s free and if you are a teacher you don’t need the childcare in the holidays.

He was 3 in December. Our nearest primary won’t take on rising 3’s as they’re full. He’ll start in September.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 28/02/2025 18:52

I'd keep him in

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:53

Iwasjustasking · 28/02/2025 18:48

Sorry just re read your original post, sorry! Remember a lot of children at school nursery will never have been to nursery before so he will be in the same situation as a lot of other children, fwiw I swapped my child to school nursery at three and she has been in nursery from six months and she still struggled.

Thank you! I’m anticipating him finding it hard to adjust but worry it’ll be even harder if he’s had so long off. It also feels a bit ‘wasted’ that he’s spent so long at nursery getting used to being dropped off etc for us to take him out and then struggle to start again if that makes sense!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:54

coxesorangepippin · 28/02/2025 18:52

I'd keep him in

I want to but I worry we can’t afford it! We’d budgeted it at £200 max (that’s what it would have been with the previous room top up) but they’ve added extra costs now he’s in the pre school room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 18:56

Albanyriver · 28/02/2025 18:49

Look at shared parental leave. At least then you can be paid for May half term holiday (too late for Easter unfortunately now). Also, you do not have to go back before the summer to get full pay. You can “return to work” on the Saturday that the holidays start.

Thank you I’ll look into it!

OP posts:
Blarn · 28/02/2025 19:07

Dd1 was 2 when dd2 was born. She was only in two days a week but we kept her in. It made two days easier for me, it meant that we didn't lose her place and she kept a familiar routine. That was most important tbh, two days a week were exactly what she expected.

MindatWork · 28/02/2025 19:09

Honestly OP it will be better for him to have a few months off with you and then start making friends with the kids he’s likely to go to school with, than have his parents stressing about making ends meet.

I was going to make the same comment as @Iwasjustasking - the fact he’s already been in childcare for most of his life will massively help him settle at the preschool nursery, even if he’s had a break.

Do you have any family nearby who could have him a few hours a week to give you a bit of a break?

HoppityBun · 28/02/2025 19:11

Money worries are debilitating. Take him out until he can get to the school nursery. He’ll appreciate the time with you.

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 19:17

MindatWork · 28/02/2025 19:09

Honestly OP it will be better for him to have a few months off with you and then start making friends with the kids he’s likely to go to school with, than have his parents stressing about making ends meet.

I was going to make the same comment as @Iwasjustasking - the fact he’s already been in childcare for most of his life will massively help him settle at the preschool nursery, even if he’s had a break.

Do you have any family nearby who could have him a few hours a week to give you a bit of a break?

Thank you for this! Our parents are great and live nearby but they all work full time. DH said he’ll take over at weekends to give me a break.

OP posts: