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Original poster

Do I pull 3YO out of nursery whilst on mat leave?

42 replies

Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 17:40

Wondering if anyone has done this… DS1 started nursery at 8 months (3 days a week). He’s now in pre school and loves it. Has loads of friends and seems to do really well there. Occasional tears at drop off as he’s always been quite clingy. Couldn’t wait for the 30 free hours to come in. I was aware that there would be free hours plus a small top up. Turns out the pre school top up is more - £360 a month. Ouch.

DS2 is 4 months old. Today my pay went to statutory and I’m so worried about how we’ll pay the bills and nursery. DH works but with mortgage, bills, cost of living etc it’s going to be a real struggle (I go back to work in July and then properly in September - I’m a teacher). We already scrimp and try not to spend. Had a letter from the nursery today to say that fees are increasing and it will be £550 a month!

Considering pulling DS1 out of nursery for now. We’ve applied for a school nursery place for September but I fear that he’ll really struggle with being dropped off somewhere when he hasn’t been to nursery in 7 months. Has anyone ever done this? How did your child get on?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 19:18

HoppityBun · 28/02/2025 19:11

Money worries are debilitating. Take him out until he can get to the school nursery. He’ll appreciate the time with you.

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 19:25

Blarn · 28/02/2025 19:07

Dd1 was 2 when dd2 was born. She was only in two days a week but we kept her in. It made two days easier for me, it meant that we didn't lose her place and she kept a familiar routine. That was most important tbh, two days a week were exactly what she expected.

That sounds like a good arrangement! I feel quite settled with the two of them now. So glad I had nursery for the first few months though! Will have a think over the weekend and maybe ask the nursery if they can lessen our bill somehow…

OP posts:
JoJo10 · 28/02/2025 19:32

I’d leave him in 1 day a week and ask to spread the funding over the full year so you’d still get his day in the school holidays paid too.

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AlwaysCoffee25 · 28/02/2025 19:34

I kept my eldest in childcare, also three days and was so grateful I did. It meant I could do baby focused groups and activities and also spend some lazy days snuggled with the baby - just not possible with a toddler in tow. Also meant my eldest got to play with his friends and some good organised activities that I lacked energy for.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 28/02/2025 19:36

Would add - school preschool is free (as in free hours are actually FREE) nursery was still £400 pcm. I didn’t manage to get my eldest in as was so over prescribed but definitely look into it.

user4578 · 28/02/2025 19:55

What a great opportunity for him to get 6 months at home with mum and baby sibling. Young children learn by playing/experiencing the world. He doesn’t need to be in nursery if you don’t need the childcare.

BendingSpoons · 28/02/2025 20:02

I'd take him out if you can manage them both at home. He will have to settle in to a new environment anyway. My DC didn't go anywhere until they started school nursery at 3.5 and settled really well.

Only thing to be wary of was it was a slowish start at our nursery with quite a few settling days etc.

Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:40

JoJo10 · 28/02/2025 19:32

I’d leave him in 1 day a week and ask to spread the funding over the full year so you’d still get his day in the school holidays paid too.

I think they only offer the funding if you do 3 days! They definitely have a policy of a minimum of 2 full days or 4 mornings.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:40

AlwaysCoffee25 · 28/02/2025 19:36

Would add - school preschool is free (as in free hours are actually FREE) nursery was still £400 pcm. I didn’t manage to get my eldest in as was so over prescribed but definitely look into it.

Got this sorted for September. It’s £2.50 per day for lunch. Then there’s the wrap around care… it never ends!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:41

user4578 · 28/02/2025 19:55

What a great opportunity for him to get 6 months at home with mum and baby sibling. Young children learn by playing/experiencing the world. He doesn’t need to be in nursery if you don’t need the childcare.

What a lovely comment! Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:44

BendingSpoons · 28/02/2025 20:02

I'd take him out if you can manage them both at home. He will have to settle in to a new environment anyway. My DC didn't go anywhere until they started school nursery at 3.5 and settled really well.

Only thing to be wary of was it was a slowish start at our nursery with quite a few settling days etc.

I hope I can manage them both… Thankfully the baby is pretty chill (for now anyway!) Glad your DC settled well. He’ll know a few other children going so fingers crossed he’ll be ok. I’ve heard of a slow start thank you for reminding me! Will have to get all the info

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:48

Thank you for all your reassurance. I think we’re going to speak to the nursery manager next week and see if she can offer us anything to reduce costs eg. term time only, reduced days etc. If not I’ll be at every £1 church playgroup and playground in the area. At least the weather seems to be improving!

OP posts:
littleluncheon · 28/02/2025 22:00

Take him out and enjoy the time together until he starts school nursery.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 01/03/2025 06:26

Mrspebe · 28/02/2025 21:40

Got this sorted for September. It’s £2.50 per day for lunch. Then there’s the wrap around care… it never ends!

Show quote history

My youngest is there now and they let you use your free hours for wrap around care. Which I think is amazing! You have to take a packed lunch - although £2 sounds reasonable. I was paying around £500 for the same care at a private nursery 🙌🏻

Sophie3003 · 01/03/2025 06:39

I would see if you are able to keep your son in if possible, my eldest is at nursery still whilst I am off (3 days a week) and gives a nice balance between the baby and being with my eldest plus keeps her structure/learning and being used to going in as she would school; they are also doing a lot of school preparation. I appreciate cost though and as am taking 14 months off it's an added cost while earnings are low/zero. I am likely going to not send her for the summer holidays though as I am taking longer maternity leave to be off to get her started at school and as the stretch funding doesn't cover this and thought it would be nice to do the summer with both 😬!

PrincessOfPreschool · 01/03/2025 07:00

I would take him out and start him in the new place in September. I think at this age a school nursery is a better environment. If he's going somewhere new in Sept then it will be an adjustment anyway.

The only consideration for me would be if you can cope with both of them and keep him busy getting out and about. If you can be happy and patient looking after both then I think it'll be better for his self esteem to be at home with you rather than saying goodbye to you, knowing your home with baby every day.

flyinghen · 01/03/2025 08:04

I would drop him down to the 15 hours a week which everyone gets free. It's a piss take that they are doing top ups but maybe it will be more manageable with less hours?For his sake I feel at 3+ it would be beneficial for him to go for even a few mornings a week

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