Page 3 | Tell me about your mid 40s accidental pregnancy

CrepituErgoSum · 2025-02-27T15:29:25+00:00

This is really for women like me, who have found themselves unexpectedly pregnant in their mid 40s or beyond and decided to continue on with the pregnancy. I'm finding things very surreal. Currently I'm 20 weeks, 47 years old, absolutely unplanned and had the shock of our lives when we found out what was going on. We already have 2 kids aged 16 & 12. We've had a lot of testing as I was freaking out about my age but everything has come back normal so far. I can feel baby kicking as I'm sitting here, so I guess he's convinced he's happening anyway! We're pretty stable as a couple and financially etc, have a paid off house, flexible work etc. Overall we're in a better position than many couples to manage an unexpected pregnancy. My main worries are really around mine and baby's health. I am interested to hear from anyone who had similar, specifically about the later pregnancy/labour - did it follow the same general pattern as with your other kids if you have them? Did you develop any of the dangerous things like GD or blood pressure issues etc? And then I would like to know how things turned out longer term. Was baby OK health wise? Were you able to breastfeed? How did your family situation evolve? How was it with your older kids? Ours are very positive and excited so far. Did you connect OK with other parents or were they so insanely young you couldn't? So many questions! :)

QuinoafromKew · 23/09/2025 10:25

I reckon the OP must have had the baby quite a while ago now given the age of the thread so @CrepituErgoSum how have things worked out for you?

BadActingParsley · 23/09/2025 10:35

At least you know.

A friend of a friend who went, at 46, to the GPs with a bloated stomach to ask about HRT. The GP, who knew her, just stared at her and said something like 'For God's sake Florence, you've had 3 kids, take a look at yourself!'. Florence looked down, screamed, and said, 'shit I'm pregnant!'. Baby born about 3 weeks later.

The menopause baby is now about 20 and doing very well.

A friend's mother was born to her 49 year old grandmother at the Sunday dinner table (possibly on it) - no idea she was pregnant.

EastCoastMama · 05/10/2025 19:40

Opinions on these tests?? Taken exactly 24 hours apart. Not sure how many DPO I would be as I wasn’t tracking. Period is 2-3 days late. This was definitely not planned, so I’m not really sure how I feel about it yet. But seeing as what’s done is done, I am hoping for a healthy baby.

Tell me about your mid 40s accidental pregnancy

RJ2025 · 05/10/2025 20:02

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:13

I don't think it's particularly fair on the child. They won't get to have parents, they will have "grandparents".

But it's done now.

You will need to think about handling a teenager when you're in your late 60s. The age gap means that this one won't have much of a bond with their older siblings. They will both be lost, either to teenage selfishness or uni life, by the time your youngest is a toddler.

And if either you or your DH need care, this will be left up to your two eldest to finance or organise, as your youngest likely would only be early 20s and not in a position to help financially. This would probably make the respective sibling relationships even more strained. With youngest perceived as useless and irrelevant by their older brothers.

Not ideal TBH.

Edited

M

whatwasthatnoise · 06/10/2025 06:30

EastCoastMama · 05/10/2025 19:40

Opinions on these tests?? Taken exactly 24 hours apart. Not sure how many DPO I would be as I wasn’t tracking. Period is 2-3 days late. This was definitely not planned, so I’m not really sure how I feel about it yet. But seeing as what’s done is done, I am hoping for a healthy baby.

You'll get more replied if you start your own thread.
I can see faint lines in both tests but I'd get a test with pink dye, they tend to be better.

Cliffedge25 · 06/10/2025 06:44

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:13

I don't think it's particularly fair on the child. They won't get to have parents, they will have "grandparents".

But it's done now.

You will need to think about handling a teenager when you're in your late 60s. The age gap means that this one won't have much of a bond with their older siblings. They will both be lost, either to teenage selfishness or uni life, by the time your youngest is a toddler.

And if either you or your DH need care, this will be left up to your two eldest to finance or organise, as your youngest likely would only be early 20s and not in a position to help financially. This would probably make the respective sibling relationships even more strained. With youngest perceived as useless and irrelevant by their older brothers.

Not ideal TBH.

Edited

Well, that was a fun post!

OP in answer to your questions, our mid 40’s surprise Is thriving, healthy and bright as anything! Bloody scrumptious in fact!

We are in a very fortunate position that we do not need to worry about the daily grind of getting through that we had to with our 30’s born child.

Financially stable, means we can concentrate on health & fun and being mum & dad for many years to come.

Best surprise of our lives, we are super lucky to be able to do this again, only wiser and with much less of the burdens of life.

Original poster

CrepituErgoSum · 06/10/2025 19:10

sorry just realised I never updated - too distracted by my new arrival!

so my baby boy is now nearly 4 months, arrived safely thank goodness and seems to be perfect. I was induced just on 37 wks, 6 hour labour with gas & air and a shot of pethadine. Only one stitch amazingly and I was up & about the same day.

really there were very few negatives in the pregnancy. I did develop GD in the last few weeks but it was controlled with diet & exercise. I kept fairly active during the pregnancy with lots of walking (7-8km a day) and I'm back to the same now again. A bit of hip pain/restless legs at night but I guess that's pretty normal in pregnancy.

initially I was a bit worried about my milk supply as I'm BFing but he seems to be gaining plenty of weight, smiling away and meeting his various milestones. his dad & the big kids love him dearly as well, so overall no complaints from this much older mother. :)

OP posts:

Summerhut2025 · 06/10/2025 19:20

CrepituErgoSum · 06/10/2025 19:10

sorry just realised I never updated - too distracted by my new arrival!

so my baby boy is now nearly 4 months, arrived safely thank goodness and seems to be perfect. I was induced just on 37 wks, 6 hour labour with gas & air and a shot of pethadine. Only one stitch amazingly and I was up & about the same day.

really there were very few negatives in the pregnancy. I did develop GD in the last few weeks but it was controlled with diet & exercise. I kept fairly active during the pregnancy with lots of walking (7-8km a day) and I'm back to the same now again. A bit of hip pain/restless legs at night but I guess that's pretty normal in pregnancy.

initially I was a bit worried about my milk supply as I'm BFing but he seems to be gaining plenty of weight, smiling away and meeting his various milestones. his dad & the big kids love him dearly as well, so overall no complaints from this much older mother. :)

Lovely news! Many congratulations

Cantspeakwontspeak · 06/10/2025 19:23

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:26

I doubt there is any 16 year old who wants to hang out with a toddler, let alone someone attending Uni. The truth is that the age gap will be too much for any sort of close relationship to develop. The kids won't have proximity, and without it, a close bond is almost impossible.

As for the care issue, average life expectancy in the UK is late 70s, but most people deteriorate much earlier than that. So needing care is a definite possibility.

I think it would be unfair to gloss over the real issues.

Show quote history

Not me but my DSD was 15 when DD1 was born and she was and still is many years later and incredible older sister and loved hanging out with her baby siblings

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 06/10/2025 19:32

Cantspeakwontspeak · 06/10/2025 19:23

Not me but my DSD was 15 when DD1 was born and she was and still is many years later and incredible older sister and loved hanging out with her baby siblings

Show quote history

Same! DSD was 11 when dd1 was born and 14 when dd2 was born. They're all grown up now and incredibly close. DSD has a 3 year old and she adores her aunties.

ContraversialDo · 06/10/2025 19:35

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:13

I don't think it's particularly fair on the child. They won't get to have parents, they will have "grandparents".

But it's done now.

You will need to think about handling a teenager when you're in your late 60s. The age gap means that this one won't have much of a bond with their older siblings. They will both be lost, either to teenage selfishness or uni life, by the time your youngest is a toddler.

And if either you or your DH need care, this will be left up to your two eldest to finance or organise, as your youngest likely would only be early 20s and not in a position to help financially. This would probably make the respective sibling relationships even more strained. With youngest perceived as useless and irrelevant by their older brothers.

Not ideal TBH.

Edited

Considering the OP didn’t plan this pregnancy but is clearly going ahead with it, I think your comment is very unpleasant.

Netcurtainnelly · 06/10/2025 19:52

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:26

I doubt there is any 16 year old who wants to hang out with a toddler, let alone someone attending Uni. The truth is that the age gap will be too much for any sort of close relationship to develop. The kids won't have proximity, and without it, a close bond is almost impossible.

As for the care issue, average life expectancy in the UK is late 70s, but most people deteriorate much earlier than that. So needing care is a definite possibility.

I think it would be unfair to gloss over the real issues.

Show quote history

This is rubbish.
You've got siblings with close age gaps who don't talk when they are older and are estranged.
It's got nothing to do with it. It's the people not the age gap.

CheeseWisely · 06/10/2025 19:59

Lovely update OP! As for the poster who thinks a 16 year old won’t be interested in a toddler, our nieces were 16 and 19 when DS was born and they ADORE him, and he them. A little bit less of a gap but DH was 13 when his younger sister was born and he was very involved with her when she was little, as were his older two siblings.

Redheadedstepchild · 06/10/2025 20:16

Congratulations!

AquaVibes · 12/11/2025 22:51

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:13

I don't think it's particularly fair on the child. They won't get to have parents, they will have "grandparents".

But it's done now.

You will need to think about handling a teenager when you're in your late 60s. The age gap means that this one won't have much of a bond with their older siblings. They will both be lost, either to teenage selfishness or uni life, by the time your youngest is a toddler.

And if either you or your DH need care, this will be left up to your two eldest to finance or organise, as your youngest likely would only be early 20s and not in a position to help financially. This would probably make the respective sibling relationships even more strained. With youngest perceived as useless and irrelevant by their older brothers.

Not ideal TBH.

Edited

What an abhorrent thing to write. You are clearly an elderly baby boomer. Out of date and out of touch. She asked about the pregnancy- not the social effects of having the child. How miserable must you be to write this.

Batoutofhellish · 12/11/2025 23:06

A family member had a pregnancy at 46
unplanned. She had a healthy baby . 8 year age gap with her older child. They love each other to bits. She’s a pretty youthful mother who has
loads of energy .

Moonflower12 · 12/11/2025 23:10

Congratulations!
My accidental 40s pregnancy is going to be 13 tomorrow. She is very healthy and sporty. She plays regional rugby and other sports.
She was delivered by planned c-section as she was breech but apart from that a healthy pregnancy.

Her siblings adore her and always have done. Where we live it’s not uncommon to have your first in your very late 30s/early 40s so my mum friends are of a similar age.

Summerhut2025 · 13/11/2025 10:45

CrepituErgoSum · 06/10/2025 19:10

sorry just realised I never updated - too distracted by my new arrival!

so my baby boy is now nearly 4 months, arrived safely thank goodness and seems to be perfect. I was induced just on 37 wks, 6 hour labour with gas & air and a shot of pethadine. Only one stitch amazingly and I was up & about the same day.

really there were very few negatives in the pregnancy. I did develop GD in the last few weeks but it was controlled with diet & exercise. I kept fairly active during the pregnancy with lots of walking (7-8km a day) and I'm back to the same now again. A bit of hip pain/restless legs at night but I guess that's pretty normal in pregnancy.

initially I was a bit worried about my milk supply as I'm BFing but he seems to be gaining plenty of weight, smiling away and meeting his various milestones. his dad & the big kids love him dearly as well, so overall no complaints from this much older mother. :)

How lovely so happy for you all 🥰

Wednesdayschild87 · 25/11/2025 14:27

Congratulations to you!! I had an unplanned baby boy at 47 and my other children were 10, 14 and 16. He’s now 7 with 3 adult siblings and they all adore him. He’s brought great joy to all of us! Enjoy him!!

Dolambslikemintsauce · 25/11/2025 22:06

Fantastic update!
Congratulations... My ds is now 11 after having him at 43.2. An absolute delight every single day.

Greeneyegirl · 25/11/2025 22:13

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:26

I doubt there is any 16 year old who wants to hang out with a toddler, let alone someone attending Uni. The truth is that the age gap will be too much for any sort of close relationship to develop. The kids won't have proximity, and without it, a close bond is almost impossible.

As for the care issue, average life expectancy in the UK is late 70s, but most people deteriorate much earlier than that. So needing care is a definite possibility.

I think it would be unfair to gloss over the real issues.

Show quote history

How wrong you are. My mum had a baby at 43. I was 20 and my brother 18. I used to travel home so many weekends from uni to see my sister, I adored her as a baby and toddler and now at 15 and 34 we are extremely close. She is fun, caring and we have a lot in common (make up, skincare, TV shows, Taylor swift). When I had a C-section with my twins this summer she would come over in the summer holidays once my husband had gone back to work and our parents were working and she'd help me take care of the babies. We spent many a hazy day binge watching modern family and doing a conveyor belt of nappies.

LocomotiveLondon · 18/12/2025 06:42

Some of the negative (and utterly) nonsensical responses here are actually quite funny.

To add to the sheer weight of contrary real-world examples already offered, I too was a late child—my mum had me in her mid 40s. I am quite close to my siblings, and my parents! They are not mistaken for my grandparents, and I have not turned out as a sociopath or psychopath. In fact, I would say my life has been quite ordinary and conventional.

Good luck to all the late mums, and I hope the pregnancies went well.

runningonberocca · 18/12/2025 07:05

I am that surprise baby! Brothers all mid to late teens when I was born. They all loved me - took me everywhere with them - I remember them going out with their mates to the park or the beach etc with me in my buggy! I also remember their pals reading me stories and sending me postcards from their holidays.
I’m 51 now and still have a really close relationship with my 4 big brothers. My parents lived to their 80s. Neither needed nursing care. Both cognitively really sharp till the end.
Ignore the negative posts and Congratulations!!

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 18/12/2025 07:50

Chiseltip · 27/02/2025 17:13

I don't think it's particularly fair on the child. They won't get to have parents, they will have "grandparents".

But it's done now.

You will need to think about handling a teenager when you're in your late 60s. The age gap means that this one won't have much of a bond with their older siblings. They will both be lost, either to teenage selfishness or uni life, by the time your youngest is a toddler.

And if either you or your DH need care, this will be left up to your two eldest to finance or organise, as your youngest likely would only be early 20s and not in a position to help financially. This would probably make the respective sibling relationships even more strained. With youngest perceived as useless and irrelevant by their older brothers.

Not ideal TBH.

Edited

Is this your personal experience? The OP is asking for personal experiences, not opinions, and this doesn't read like a first hand account.

2old4thispoo · 18/12/2025 09:15

It wasn't a surprise but I had a baby in my 40s.

I've also had babies in my teens, 20s and 30s.

It was absolutely fine.
Why wouldn't you be able to breastfeed?

You concieved so clearly fertile. Your age is relevant but more important is your general health, lifestyle choices and well bring.

Honestly, pregnancy in my 40s was no different to any of my other pregnancies.
Birth was fine, water birth, all done in 1.5hrs. Breastfed for a year.

My dc now range from 11 to 36, its bonkers but it is, what it is!

Take care of yourself and congratulations!

Tell me about your mid 40s accidental pregnancy

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