Do you ever just pretend not to see people in the street?

[Beabadoobiedoo]

I do this all the time. Quite often, I see people I recognise and just pretend I haven't seen them. When they're gone, I wonder why I even did that. It's such a gut response! I always think I won't do that again but surely enough I do. Even when it's someone I like. Sometimes I manage a hello but find it a bit painful, like, will I need to stop? How close do they need to get before I say anything? Do I just stare at them as they're walking towards me? Anyone else like this? I swear I'm not horrible.

yup

I do sometimes but it's not out of anxiety or dislike - I'll happily chat to anyone if need be. It's more feeling like I just want to get on with whatever I'm planning to do, and realising I can get away with it as they either haven't seen me or are pretending they haven't.

I know this is MN but seriously

would none of you consider nodding or waving hi and just getting on with your day?

one person who ghosted me last year has apparently also just walked straight past a lady (who thought they were friends) in their local high street. They said, 100% sure she saw them.

I would think that was a brush off, being blanked means you don't want to even nod hello to the person. I mean WTAF!

Yes.

Socially anxious Brits

I do it all the time

Or pretend to turn around , check my phone, suddenly look puzzled etc

You know blanking people like that probably leaves them wondering what they did to upset you.

All the time, but it's not intentional. I just seem to suffer from "face blindness" and genuinely don't recognise people outside context. If I usually meet, say, a client, in the office, then I'll simply not recognise them if I meet them in the street or a supermarket. Same with neighbours - obviously I recognise them and speak if we meet on the road outside the houses, but again, on a different street or in a shopping centre, I'll look right through them and not recognise at all. It's really strange. I really have to see someone in the "normal environment" to recognise them. Must look really rude to them when I blank them, but I genuinely don't do it deliberately.

Reminds me of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm decrying the expected ‘stop n’ chat’. 😂

Tbh I have done this a few times if I know they’ll keep me 20 minutes chatting a load of rubbish.
i can’t be bothered sometimes.

Never did this in my home country or other countries I’ve lived in but I now do it in the UK. Where I live it seems more the done thing to avoid casual social interaction when possible.

God yeah and feel awful about it but it's often just not the time to chat

I don't go out my way to talk to people if I'm not in the mood to but I would never blank someone who was unavoidably right in front of me. I've had it where people will pick and choose whether they recognise me or not and it just makes them look rude.

I don't but fear people think I do. My distance vision isn't amazing without my glasses so I bet I walk past folks ! Sorry if I've ever blanked you !

😂 this is me I did it just yesterday only after I walked past I realised. I have been known to pretend I haven't seen someone in say the supermarket if I can get away with though. Hate awkward meetings in shops and like pp said you keep seeing them down every bloody isle. Hate it and sometimes end up going bright red for some bizarre reason !

I do. But I am autistic, so it's self-preservation!

I do this all the time.

I once saw a guy from work do it to me as well 🤣. I was walking along the prom and he literally made eye contact with me, then practically ran to the other side so he didn't have to say hi 🤣🤣🤣.

I totally respected it. I didn't want to speak to him either, and it was nice for someone else to take action instead of me having to pretend I hadn't seen them.

You do know that a lot of the people you're avoiding have actually spotted you and are left wondering what they've done to upset you?

Anyone else like this?

No, not at all. Why do you do this?

If I ignore someone it is because I haven't seen them, not because I am rude.

I truly feel like I've found my people

Of course you have. This is mumsnet. The home of people who won't answer the door or the phone.

@ohyesido @CurlewKate oh I hope not! I wouldn't anyone to feel like that. I feel like that often myself but I guess I feel like it's self preservation when I avoid people. I don't find people safe.

I'm sorry, but they will think that. It's worrying that you don't find people safe. Most of us aren't monsters. Is there a back story?

I struggle to trust people and feel full of shame around people. I struggle with Complex PTSD, I was bullied at school and went through a lot of different kinds of abuse inside and outside of my home.

No.
But many people I know do that and often I take it personally, overthink and feel sad I'm not worth a simple greeting.

Of course, I’m British.

I only do this if I am walking to work in the morning and spot my colleague who lives close to me and walks too. I just want to walk with my thoughts and my music, not chat to this guy from another department (who is perfectly nice) at 8am when I am barely awake.