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Original poster

What do you do on this situation about mortgage/wills

44 replies

eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 14:34

So I own my house, it's mortgage free as was gifted to me by my dad. My husband lives here with me and our 3 kids.
Husband has a sd who lives with her mum most of the time.
He wants us to get a mortgage , I don't. I feel we'd be stupid to use this place as a deposit on another home. It just fills me with dread the thought of getting into debt for however many years. Dh said we need assets, but we have one don't we in this house ?
I think he's thinking of sd and leaving her something when he passes.
But I'm happy to split this house 4 ways between all the kids if that's what would make him happy.
I will add Sd will inherit from her mum and grandparents, mine will only have what we give.

So is dh right and do we need to get a mortgage ?

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 26/02/2025 14:40

I think it would be fine to sell your house and use the money as a down payment on a bigger house, for which you would need a mortgage, IF you need a bigger house for your family including SD to live in. I'm not sure I follow the 'assets to leave to the children' argument - if your DH has spare money to be making mortgage payments, could he not just save or invest that money for his SD's future? Money is an asset.

NoctuaAthene · 26/02/2025 14:42

Sorry not really sure I follow, he wants to get a mortgage and then do what with the money, invest it? Buy another house as a buy to let?

I'm sure everyone here will say no way as MN is obsessed with being mortgage free, but IMO if you are both young, in good health and stable jobs having a manageable mortgage can be a safe, low cost way to leverage your assets and I certainly prioritize other forms of investments which have greater ROI over being mortgage free (not buy to lets though). However obviously security of housing is very important so I wouldn't be mortgaging if there is any doubt whatsoever about your ability to continue the repayments. And of course I'd run a mile from any dodgy get rich quick investment schemes like crypto or whatever. As your outgoings are presumably fairly low right now there's also nothing stopping him saving what you would be spending on a mortgage payment as an investment of whatever form, obviously this will grow more slowly than investing a capital sum but if your kids are young right now he could build a tidy sum by the time they're adults just by saving?

NotDavidTennant · 26/02/2025 14:42

What does he want to use the mortgage for? To buy a bigger home? To buy a rental property?

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Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 14:45

NotDavidTennant · 26/02/2025 14:42

What does he want to use the mortgage for? To buy a bigger home? To buy a rental property?

Well I'm not sure as it changes each time. The latest is to buy somewhere else not to live in, just to pay off then we can sell both properties at the same time and have more money to buy a bigger house.

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 26/02/2025 14:50

The house is from your side of the family and your children's home.
Why does he want to share that with your SD?
Will her mum and grandparents share their assets with your three children?
Yes, he needs to provide for her, and his assets should be split equally, but that doesn't include your house.

BaronessBomburst · 26/02/2025 14:52

eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 14:45

Well I'm not sure as it changes each time. The latest is to buy somewhere else not to live in, just to pay off then we can sell both properties at the same time and have more money to buy a bigger house.

Show quote history

Then he can get a BTL mortgage in his own name.

Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 14:53

BaronessBomburst · 26/02/2025 14:50

The house is from your side of the family and your children's home.
Why does he want to share that with your SD?
Will her mum and grandparents share their assets with your three children?
Yes, he needs to provide for her, and his assets should be split equally, but that doesn't include your house.

Sorry I wasn't very clear, he hasn't suggested that. But in the past it's been brought up when I've said initially I didn't think sd should inherit from this house because my kids won't get any other inheritance where as sd will, her grandparents are very well off. I basically said I wanted to protect this house for my kids. He did get a bit pissed off about it at first but then came around.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 26/02/2025 14:57

Both save for a deposit on a flat.
Take out a mortgage and pay that off for the next twenty years.
Leave your house to your children, and the flat to your children and SD equally.

Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:00

user1492757084 · 26/02/2025 14:57

Both save for a deposit on a flat.
Take out a mortgage and pay that off for the next twenty years.
Leave your house to your children, and the flat to your children and SD equally.

Edited

But what do we do with the flat In the meantime ? Rent it out ?

OP posts:
Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:02

user1492757084 · 26/02/2025 14:57

Both save for a deposit on a flat.
Take out a mortgage and pay that off for the next twenty years.
Leave your house to your children, and the flat to your children and SD equally.

Edited

I have a feeling dh would want sd to have the flat solely. I may be wrong but he would see it that the kids have this place, even though it's nothing special so not like it's loads of money

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 26/02/2025 15:04

Well you could argue that the house is a marital asset, and therefore half belongs to DH. If he split that between the four children SD would get an 1/8 of the value.
If you predeceased him, presumably he'll leave her 1/4.

Ohnobackagain · 26/02/2025 15:15

@eyeeyeeyeeyeeye it is perfectly reasonable for you to bequeath your house to the children of you and DH, assuming you have agreed it is now yours and his jointly. It is also perfectly reasonable
to include SD; could be the same share or reduced to take account of her benefitting from others’ Wills.

for example - each of your 3 joint kids gets approx 14.29% from each parent and SD% gets approx 14.29% from her Dad. Whichever parent dies first, they could have a life interest and it doesn’t go straight to the kids but does eventually.

but if you don’t feel it’s fair that any goes to DH as he didn’t contribute, or to give any to SD you don’t have to.

likewise I don’t think I’d be rushing to get a mortgage or do something you don’t feel a need to do, or don’t think is a great idea.

RoachFish · 26/02/2025 15:22

Since you are married the house is now both of yours so his child (although you say in your OP that it's his SD which I assume is a typo) will inherit the same as yours. Is it this that you want a will to say his child cannot inherit anything but everything should go to your kids? If so, I think that's completely unreasonable. If you didn't want to share the house then you shouldn't have got married and you should have continued to pay for the house yourself without his involvement.

Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:32

RoachFish · 26/02/2025 15:22

Since you are married the house is now both of yours so his child (although you say in your OP that it's his SD which I assume is a typo) will inherit the same as yours. Is it this that you want a will to say his child cannot inherit anything but everything should go to your kids? If so, I think that's completely unreasonable. If you didn't want to share the house then you shouldn't have got married and you should have continued to pay for the house yourself without his involvement.

Yes it's a typo. I'm not so sure as she isn't my child, I don't have to leave dsd anything, that's up to her parents to do just like I have to look after my own children. Her dad absolutely should leave his kids what he can, but I'm under no obligation to do so. And only my name is on the deeds and this house was mine before we married, so I'm not sure how that works.

OP posts:
Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:33

RoachFish · 26/02/2025 15:22

Since you are married the house is now both of yours so his child (although you say in your OP that it's his SD which I assume is a typo) will inherit the same as yours. Is it this that you want a will to say his child cannot inherit anything but everything should go to your kids? If so, I think that's completely unreasonable. If you didn't want to share the house then you shouldn't have got married and you should have continued to pay for the house yourself without his involvement.

Just to add, the property is mortgage free. Dh hasn't had to pay anything on it nor have I. We split bills equally

OP posts:
RoachFish · 26/02/2025 15:41

eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:33

Just to add, the property is mortgage free. Dh hasn't had to pay anything on it nor have I. We split bills equally

Show quote history

No, but because you are married I thought it would be counted as a marital asset but after googling I can see if you inherited the house it can be claimed as yours only/non-marital asset. So ignore me😀

TonTonMacoute · 26/02/2025 15:44

eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 14:45

Well I'm not sure as it changes each time. The latest is to buy somewhere else not to live in, just to pay off then we can sell both properties at the same time and have more money to buy a bigger house.

Show quote history

If he hasn't got a properly thought out plan I wouldn't be thinking about it.

He sounds like he just want DSD to get a share of your house somehow or other, which, as it appears she will be well provided for, seems unnecessary

Pollyanna123456 · 26/02/2025 15:48

Make sure you take legal advice on how to ensure it passes how you wish should you pass before your husband

Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:51

I've said a few times I don't want to sell this house, it was my grandparents house, I grew up here and I've said it makes me uncomfortable selling it. I won't inherit anything else, and I think myself so lucky to have been given this place.
And he isn't pushing me to sell it tbf, it's very much my decision. But I do think deep down he feels like he needs to leave dsd something, which is fine and understandable.

OP posts:
PrincessW11 · 26/02/2025 15:52

Why doesn't DH get a BTL mortgage for a flat if he wishes solely on his income then he can leave it to whomever he chooses? Why do u need to be involved in this transaction?

Original poster
eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:54

PrincessW11 · 26/02/2025 15:52

Why doesn't DH get a BTL mortgage for a flat if he wishes solely on his income then he can leave it to whomever he chooses? Why do u need to be involved in this transaction?

I'm not sure he'd get a mortgage on his own to be honest

OP posts:
gandticenslice · 26/02/2025 15:54

BaronessBomburst · 26/02/2025 14:50

The house is from your side of the family and your children's home.
Why does he want to share that with your SD?
Will her mum and grandparents share their assets with your three children?
Yes, he needs to provide for her, and his assets should be split equally, but that doesn't include your house.

This

Rabssccuttlefissh · 26/02/2025 15:59

I wouldn’t share your family inheritance with him or SD. It’s your children’s legacy, from your family.

PrincessW11 · 26/02/2025 16:02

He can save in other tax efficient ways for DC/DSD (ISAS)if he wishes, he can specify in his will how he'd like these split if not equally

Meadowfinch · 26/02/2025 16:06

eyeeyeeyeeyeeye · 26/02/2025 15:54

I'm not sure he'd get a mortgage on his own to be honest

Show quote history

Then he can put money into a stocks and shares ISA for her. That would be tax efficient and in her name. He doesn't need to get a mortgage or buy a flat.