What do you do on this situation about mortgage/wills

[eyeeyeeyeeyeeye]

So I own my house, it's mortgage free as was gifted to me by my dad. My husband lives here with me and our 3 kids.
Husband has a sd who lives with her mum most of the time.
He wants us to get a mortgage , I don't. I feel we'd be stupid to use this place as a deposit on another home. It just fills me with dread the thought of getting into debt for however many years. Dh said we need assets, but we have one don't we in this house ?
I think he's thinking of sd and leaving her something when he passes.
But I'm happy to split this house 4 ways between all the kids if that's what would make him happy.
I will add Sd will inherit from her mum and grandparents, mine will only have what we give.

So is dh right and do we need to get a mortgage ?

If you are not paying a mortgage or rent currently, then surely you could afford to EITHER save and invest those savings in some kind of asset or fund OR to buy a flat or something, with a mortgage, then rent it out if properly is the type of investment he wants (or if you really wnat to try and benefit from the potential leverage).

Personally, I'd not be bothered with the hassle of buying a property, getting a mortgage, manage a letting agent or tenant etc so I'd probably just agree, okay, let's invest xx per month and if you like property, find a property fund to invest in.

I don' tknow if this is still a thing, but a young colleague of mine years ago couldn't afford to buy in London but he invested in a small, much cheaper flat up north somewhere - manchester or birmingham or something. Got the mortgage etc but then rented it out. HIs thinking was that way he was on the property ladder, even though he couldn't afford to buy somewhere to actually live. That could be something you consider - he did it through some kind of investment firm so he paid a fee but it meant he didn't actually have to do any of the work.

Just to add, I think that it's not actually a bad thing that he's thinking abotu assets. And while the house is now a marital asset, I think it's quite normal for people to feel like their inheritance can be shared while they're together but that ultimately, it should remain in the "bloody" family on death/divorce. So he's got the right idea of thinking that if he owned the home you lived in, he'd be accumulating an asset.

So I'd definitely be considering whether you find a way for him to accumulate assets in a different way. It could even be that he simply massively overinvests in his pension.

Don't sell your home. ATM it is entirely yours to leave to your DC between them, with or without lifetime use of it for DH. If you sell up and put that money as a deposit for a joint mortgage the house will become an asset of the marriage and if you ever sit up he'd probably get half. You need to tell DH if he wants to buy another house or flat to let out that's ok, you could go halves but do tenants in common. Your half should go equally between your DC and his half should go equally between any DC he has. As you say DSD will inherit from her mother and grandparents whereas your DC will only get what you leave them and a share of their Dad's wealth. Btw assets can be money. Nothing to stop your DH settling up a savings account for his DD and any other DC he has with you. It sounds like he's trying to take away your DC's inheritance to give to his own DD which is not nice and absolutely not fair.

As others have said let him open a savings account for his DD. But he should treat all of his DC equally. If he has DC with you he should save an equal amount for them. Does he favour his DD from previous relationship?

How can I suggest that though without seriously offending him? He said years ago when wills were brought up how I should treat sd like my own as we're married. Can I just add I have always always treated dsd well, I treat her, give her make up etc always been nice and she loves me and I love her.

I mean leaving this place to just my kids. I do think this is what's making him want assets so much

Your house, solely in your name, is yours to leave as you like in your Will, regardless of your marriage.

Marriage doesn't make your solely owned house a jointly owned asset.
In the event of a divorce, all assets - joint and solely owned - would need to be considered in splitting the finances. Whether each asset falls into the amount to be split depends on a number of things.

The details of your Will are up to you, not your husband. TBH he doesn't even have to know what the details are, unless you share that with him.

Please have a think about what you want to happen, take legal advice and make sure your Will reflects your intentions.

Separately, look at your overall finances and how you deal with these (everything joint, 50/50, proportional etc) and your savings and investments and how these are held.

Presumably your DH is benefiting from living in an unmortgaged house so has higher disposable income than he would otherwise. Presumably he also pays CM for his daughter which reduces his disposable income.

If he can't get a mortgage on his own that's it. You'd be mad to take on a mortgage you don't need just for DSD to inherit.

He could start saving perhaps so there is something for the DC?

Depends on if you want to live in a different house. We have a mortgage that won’t on paper be paid off til we’re late 60s (actually we hope to pay it off well before then, hopefully before we’re 55). I love this house. It’s big and beautiful and has a huge garden I get a lot of pleasure from. I’d not want to live in a mortgage free house that was smaller and didn’t have all this.

It’s also a great investment for our dc. It will give them so much more inheritance than if we bought a small house mortgage free. £500k divided 4 ways is more than £250k divided 4 ways.

If you really love your house and don’t want to move, then your Dh or the two of you together could look to save or free up some equity and buy a small investment property that can be sold when you both die. Long term, property is the most significant investment most parents make to pass on to their children, I think if you can afford it, I would maximise that.

He doesn't seem to be that worried about offending or upsetting you OP.

What did he bring to the marriage in terms of assets?

In your situation, I also wouldn’t want to move and have a mortgage.
From dh’s perspective, you have said ‘I own my house, my husband lives here with me and our 3 kids’. When married with shared children, the house should just be the family home surely? Perhaps that’s what’s bothering your dh. This is very much ‘your’ house, even in the way you describe the situation in your op. I hope your dh is putting money in savings.

I don't see it that way, I was just trying to get across the facts. It of course is my dh home too! I would never make him feel like he hasn't a say or it isn't his home, of course it is and always will be. I just don't want to sell a mortgage free home to take on a mortgage it seems insane to me

Presume you have a will, leaving YOUR house to YOUR children? He should also leave HIS assets equally shared between HIS children. No need for you to make provision for your sd if you don't want to

Op you really need to get legal advice as to how you can protect the house. Don’t assume anything. Being married can make a difference. The answers on here would be very different if a man had posted. Please get advice and protect your assets.

Does he contribute financially to maintaining the house?

I think you're mad to consider giving your SD a share of your inherited house, when your DC have no other inheritance and SD has wealthy GPs and week inherit from her mother.
The father needs to save money for All HIS DC, if he wants then to inherit from him.

Back to your actual question.... I think in this day and age, in fact at any time, you'd be MAD to sell a family home and take out a mortgage when you're currently mortgage free.
If you do have spare money invest it wisely for your own futures and that of your DC.

It's tricky because on the one hand I can see why you feel the house should be protected for your children as it was your family inheritance, I can also see your DH's point of view that if you've been together since she was little and she has been brought up to see it equally as her home as much as it is her half siblings', it could be quite emotionally challenging that she doesn't get any share in it at all after you've gone (very different situation IMO to how assets should be divided after a much later remarriage when the children are adults). It's all very well saying 'but she'll inherit from her mother' but no-one can guarantee that, her mother's home and assets could all be eaten up in care costs or her mother could remarry and leave everything to her new husband or one of any number of scenarios you can't forsee (and equally of course the same could apply to you and your house as well).

I personally would hate to feel I couldn't leave anything very tangible to any of my children, particularly if some of my children were inheriting a house from their other parent and some were not, so if I was in your DH's position and you are clear the house was yours alone and to leave as you choose, I would certainly be wanting to build some equivalent assets for myself and for me to leave as I choose too, maybe that's unromantic but it would be how I would feel.

It's interesting you say you don't think your DH could get a mortgage even on a BTL based just off his income, is he a very low earner? Why is that? Does he save anything at all at the moment from his income? Does he have any savings or pension?

Personally I wouldn't absolutely write off the idea of taking out a small or short-term mortgage on your current house (no need to sell and buy a new one if you don't want to) in order to realise some capital that can be invested in a way that is ultimately intended to benefit all your DH's children (including your joint DC), if he can explain to you in a logical and well thought out way what his plans are for the money, where/how he plans to invest it (just saying 'an asset' makes no sense, anything can be an asset from gilt edge funds to gold plated toilet roll, but some things are good investments and some aren't!), what his anticipated ROI is taking into account costs including the repayments on the mortgage, why/by how much that outperforms the status quo i.e. leaving the equity in the house and saving the mortgage repayments in an ISA or whatever you do now, any tax implications e.g. to buying a BTL and his risk appetite/risk assessment. If he can answer these questions well then as a supportive partner I would take the risk of using my asset to leverage in this way, just as I would consider lending the money to support a business venture or supporting them through a period of retraining or similar. But if he has no answers or vague answers only then it just sounds like an ill-thought through pipe dream...

That's a very balanced post from @NoctuaAthene . I'm far more cynical!
I see a DH who has nothing to leave to any of his DC and thinks that he can plug the gap for his daughter by laying claim to the OP's asset and skimming off the shares of their joint DC.
The fact that he wants to leave all the rental to his daughter seems to back this up. Does he favour her generally?
Or is your current home worth several million?