What's one thing that drives you mad about your mum or dad?

[custarddoughnuts]

I obviously love her to bits, but it really just does my head in the amount of time she spends talking on the phone.
A conversation that only needs to be five minutes long takes her more than 20, she doesn't get tired of talking it seems.
I often have to walk into another room LOL.
So what does yours do?

Mine does the same. I absolutely hate it. She lives alone and I know she does it at home too (which is perfectly acceptable!) but she now does it in public too. I spent a few days in hospital last week and I was shocked at how many older people think it’s acceptable to be on speakerphone!!! I don’t want to hear other peoples conversations - especially when they are talking about private medical issues!

Both of my parents are a nightmare when describing people "Oh, I ran into Welsh Helen today, you know, the one with the big mole on her chin" or "I was chatting with this lovely Indian lady at the post office today..." Never any malice intended, just really inappropriate some times!

My DM- I spent my childhood/majority of adult life before I moved out listening to my DM moan that her own DM (my grandmother) never phoned her, oh no, it was always Jane the martyr who had to phone thrice weekly and if she didn't she'd get a sniffy DM who answered wondering why she didn't ring, doesn't she care about her DM after all she'd done for her etc etc. DM swore blind she'd never wind up like her own DM.

Does my DM ever ring me? Does she heck. Sometimes I leave it a few weeks to see if she ever caves in, but no. Always me ringing her to see if she'd like to see GC or check how she is

I’m probably going to get slammed for this but I will say it anyway.

make the most of all these annoying habits as one day you will be desperate to have them back 💔

I'm not saying that as a dig at anyone just my truth x

@Kaybee50 except for when she was I. Hospital she wouldn't speak on the phone at all! She would only text occasionally as she didn't t want to disturb people. Well if she didn't put it on speaker it wouldn't be an issue!

@L0309 you are quite right and I do try to remember that.

See I’m going to disagree.

I love my children but I’m not desperate to have the sleepless nights back. I loved my parents but I don’t miss my dad reading road signs and fussing endlessly.

Parts of this thread are sad but for the most part it’s been an endearing read.

Both my parents have been dead a long time now. It’s both cathartic and essential to be able to talk about minor irritations and issues - if you think about it, that’s the basis of every support group going. Making people feel bad about this because you don’t have your parents isn’t fair and as I’ve said I don’t have mine either.

Taking that to its logical conclusion, people who haven’t enjoyed parenting would tell the infertile children aren’t that great actually, those struggling to conceive would police every grumble about a child, those who have lost a partner would be telling everyone in a bad relationship to stop. None of those things would be healthy and I don’t think it is here either.

That my mum will call me on a weekly basis to catch up, and the call invariably contains the 'births, deaths and marriages notices' of people I either haven't seen in 20 years, or do not even know. I've stopped saying 'I don't know who that is' because she's awful with names so when she starts trying to connect said person to someone I may know, we spend 10 minutes of her going through the alphabet and eventually settle on a third cousin I once had swimming lessons with as the link to the original person. I still don't know who it was that gave birth/died/got married. This wouldn't be so frustrating if it wasn't for the fact that she forgets to tell me important news/updates regarding close family or things that may actually impact me 🤦‍♀️ on top of that, she rarely asks about anything going on in my life, which is quite a lot and quite important. But I need to know that Beryl's granddaughter's boyfriend crashed his car through the hedge last week.

That my dad makes a big deal about me visiting (I live 5 hours drive away) more often due to missing me, but when I visit spends the initial 10 minutes asking about the drive and traffic, then says it's nice to have me back and returns to his usual routine of watching telly in the living room by himself. When I leave he again makes a big deal about how I need to come back more often, having stuck to his routine religiously and only really seen me at mealtimes. Again, little interest in what's going on in my life and if I happen to mention something important or that's currently going on, he seems surprised that I appear to be doing anything but then doesn't engage in further conversation about it. It feels like I'm talking at him, so I don't really share stuff with him anymore.

I'm starting to think my parents like having a daughter in principle, but aren't actually that interested in me as a person!

My mother is a chronic people-pleaser who prefers being around people who are unfortunate, unwell, unlucky etc, because it makes her feel needed and powerful. For this reason she will always take a phonecall, even if its in the middle of a family meal, and when caller display tells her it's only Jean, who will monologue for an hour about her hip, and is utterly horrified by women, including her own daughters, who are (a) confident and (b) say no to things.

My father, possibly neurodivergent but undiagnosed, is a monologuer, but is totally unable to tailor his monologues to his audience. So a friend who asked him about an adult ed course he'd recently taken because they were interested in doing it themselves, got a half hour, not on the course content or teaching, but on the exact car-parking arrangements.

They've started reading the Daily Fail and take it as gospel..... they used to be relatively reasonable people, now they genuinely believe 'illegal immigrants are taking over' and any other BS that rag prints eg taxpayers money going to "trans/disabled/gay/migrant/drag Queen reads bedtime stories to children to brainwash our kids" etc etc because it must be true, "it's in the paper!" Honestly, I've just had to say "let's agree to disagree" soooooo many times lately.

Why bloody hell? If you are still so affected by it, don't read the thread, so weird commenting on it. I assume your parents never annoyed you or had irritating habits. I know mine did and my mum died at 64 and my dad a few years ago.

She phoned last night. 40 minutes of talking about a house round the corner that sold and a local suicide involving someone I don't know.
there is just no conversation.
She just talks at you for as long as she can.

That they're no longer with us.
They were frustrating at times, especially my dad when he came to live with us after my mum died but I'd love to have the chance to be exasperated with them all over again.
My adult son would probably be saying some of the same things mentioned on here about me and his dad these days😁

Mine is extremely combative. For example if I say car seats are really important for keeping children safe. She tells me that they didn't have them in her day and everything was fine. But if I started by saying car seats are a waste of time she'd tell me they're very important in keeping children safe.

I can't say anything without being argued with or snapped at.

Why are they like this!? That must be so frustrating

Yes to the talking at you, sometimes felt she didn't know me at all