I've name changed for this, as it's outing.
I've been house, dog and cat sitting for 2 weeks for a close friend whom I've known for many years. I travelled from the other side of the country to help her out, as I knew she wouldn't relax if she had strangers looking after her dog. I'm self-employed so was able to do it.
The animals are gorgeous, and it's a lovely house. I'm a massive animal lover, and take the responsibility very seriously. It's gone brilliantly well, apart from... My friend's mother! Who lives just down the road. She very kindly picked me up from the train station, and made it known she was around if I needed anything, so I was very grateful. But, I think because of all that, the boundaries were a bit blurred. She told me she needed to pop by at some point to sort stuff out for her daughter, my friend. That's fine. I understood that. But, I didn't fully comprehend what that would look like. Week 1 no problems. But, this last week, from Sunday onwards has ended up being very stressful because of her numerous uninvited visits. She turned up last Sunday morning, just before I walked the dog. The chain was still on the door, but I heard her trying to come in. Took me by surprise, as no heads up to say she was on her way. I left her to it. She was still here when the dog and I got back. Left for lunch then returned with no warning whatsoever and let herself in! I'm very introverted and private, so found this very stressful. I would, even if it was my own mum! When she finally left, she mentioned she would return another day to do more stuff. I should have then said, please could she message me first, and knock the door. But, I felt uncomfortable, and kind of lost my tongue. Next day, I was out walking the dog. I knew I'd locked the door, as I was so conscientious about protecting my friend's home that I checked and double checked it was locked. When we got back the door was unlocked! For a moment I thought I was going mad, and hadn't locked the door after all. So, I was feeling guilty and worried, but called out in case she was there - sure enough... She'd unlocked it with her key and let herself in! I was shocked, and didn't know what to say, so just said something like I was glad she was there, as I worried for a moment that I'd forgotten to lock the door. She misunderstood my meaning! Anyway, she stayed hours. When she finally left, she said she needed to come back one more time just to finish off. Said it'd be Thursday or Friday. So, you can imagine my shock when, the following day, I opened the door to head out with the dog, and there she was on the doorstep about to let herself in! I did find it a little funny, as well as stressful! She said she'd be an hour, and she was gone when we got back, phew!
So, all done I thought. Now I can relax. Buuut, Thursday morning - standing at the sink in my pyjamas, front door opens, and in she comes with her husband in tow 😩 Again, no warning, no knock, just lets herself (and her husband) in. Said they need to collect something. That time, I think my dismay was written on my face, so I felt certain that was that. Until yesterday! In she came again to do something, check something (not even sure at that point) I actually think I had a mini panic attack, as really thought she was finished. After putting the spuds I'd prepared in the oven, I made my excuses and went upstairs, saying I was sorting the beds or something. We said goodbye. I kind of hid. Until a calling upstairs to see if I knew I had something in the oven - arrrgh! Of course I knew. I'd only just put it in. I'm so risk averse. Especially re fire, especially in someone else's house, and with animals I'm responsible for. So, I was actually quite hurt by that. But, probably that's just over sensitivity due to the general stress of her numerous unannounced visits. Other stuff too, like uninvited advice about recycling etc when I had sorted it all the week before. Just generally, her presence, no matter how well meaning, has made the week far less enjoyable than it would otherwise have been. I think my friend hoped I could have a holiday in her absence.
Anyway, so, said friend returning today. She'll ask how it went. I've obviously sent regular updates and photos of the animals, so she knows that went brilliantly. But, not sure if I should gently sensitively say that I struggled with her mum's uninvited visits, without warning or knocking? I honestly don't think I'd do it again, if the same thing happened. So, she might like to know?
I'm guessing she and her mum have a no knock policy. They have eachother's house keys, and let themselves in to eachother's homes freely? Up to them of course. But, I'm not their family! Surely her mum should have realised it was totally different with a non family member here?! I'm still feeling stressed about it. It's made it such an unrelaxing week, which is a shame, as I've loved the animals and house.
I've got a very good relationship with my friend, and could word it in such a way that wouldn't offend. But, wonder if easier to keep quiet? What do you lovely Mumsnetters think?