Very 'normal' things that make you feel awkward

[DancingDucks]

First of all I'm sticking a 'lighthearted' in here. 😊

A friend and I had this conversation the other day and it made us both laugh, so maybe it'll cheer up a wet and windy day for some.

Some of mine:

When people wish me happy birthday on Facebook. It's very lovely of people but makes me feel so weird and embarrassed, so I now have my birthday hidden.

Waiting to get off a bus. Not sure what I think will happen, but I get all weird and stressed in case I forget to thank the driver. Which would never happen because it's so drummed into me.

Standing behind people at a cash machine. Even though I stand well back, I fear I might look a shifty and robby type, so try to arrange my face as benignly as possible, hence looking slightly vacant.

Walking past my own house. This is so weird and I've no idea why it makes me feel like I should give a jolly wave to my house.

Please tell me I'm not alone in my weirdness ...

Years ago on holiday there was a raffle. Unfortunately, Mam won a prize. We were facing the excruciating awkwardness of going up to collect it. My Mam threw the tickets under the table and said nothing.

We were in the clear until......

The tickets were sold at the table so my Dad had the strip after ours. He knew we'd won by the numbers on his tickets. He retrieved the them and collected the prize with a WTF is wrong with you two expression?😂

Oh going to the theatre is agony for me incase they go wrong, I’d be so embarrassed for them.

If you're not following it already, you all have to take a look at Very British Problems facebook page. It is my comfort and solace

Carwash! I wouldn't wash it myself on the drive cos well thats embarrassing isnt it....so I HAVE to take to carwash. You lock eyes with the guys and gesticulate which wash you want, then they squirt soap all over windows, blast you with water, rock the car as they rub, all while you squirm with embarasdment and entitlement and try not to look at them. All the time you feel they think you are Lady Fauntleroy/rich lazy bitch, and are terrified you haven't closed your windows properly, or your engine off each time you're beckoned forward another few inches (so actually must keep that eye contact there!) and are terrified your foot will slip and you will plough one of them down. At the end when they've leathered you down, one will suddenly yank a door open and rub at the sill, which is also the bit where you pay. Then you struggle to think is the fee enough, or should you tip or is that condescending... the car is lovely and clean, I HAVENT been passed a note saying "help me I've been trafficked", and that's that for another month or so before it all starts again...hate it!

@DancingDucks
A brilliant thread. Thank you. I'm crying with laughter also nodding in agreement at 99% of these.
@mumsnet nominate for classics

Waiting. Anywhere where there's other people around. I never know where to put my arms or where to look, I just feel so awkward.

Sitting opposite somebody on a train table and trying not to make eye contact

When everyone starts clapping along at musicals

Saying goodbye to somebody in a supermarket then bumping into them again on a different aisle

Having anybody in my house that isn’t the four people who live here. I get so stressed. Does my house smell. Do they think it’s dirty. Is it the right temperature. Etc etc. I am pretty sure this anxiety got me on a naughty list with the midwives. I kept asking them not to come over and whether I could go to their office instead. I’m sure they thought it was because there was something wrong with my house. There isn’t. It’s a normal non dirty average house.

I hate being the centre of attention too. This is why i didn't even have a traditional wedding. I could not have coped with walking down an aisle with everyone looking at me. I got married on a beach just me and dh and was even not happy when people from the small resort came to watch us !

I was at a family gathering last week. My cousin who I probably see two times a year at the most and before last year had not seen for many years pointed out kindly that I had a bit of snot in my nostril- she referred to it as ' a bat in the cave' an expression I had never heard before in my 57 years on this planet ! It took me a minute to realize what she was saying. I was honestly so mortified I could not forget about what she had said for hours after the party was over, just kept ruminating over it. I honestly wished she had never mentioned it, it was a tiny speck. Truly mortifying. I wondered if others would have just laughed and never given it a minutes thought again . It absolutely made me feel like a child although I'm sure she was well meaning as she's truly lovely.

I’m so pleased that there are at least 3 of us walking more awkwardly (when we think about it) than when we were toddlers! 🤣🤣

Ugh, that sounds so stressful. We use Zoom where I work but thankfully there's nothing like this - just a few meetings a month and they're always an hour tops. That sort of constant plugged-in-ness must be exhausting.

Does anyone else worry they’ve accidentally/subconsciously inserted a profanity into a work email, to the extent they go back and check? Or am I odd?

This reminds me of my nan. She hated the phone and I once saw a conversation she had written down in preparation to calling the plumber the next day. She had written down the whole conversation they would have.
Goodness knows what would happen if he got his lines wrong.

I love it when people speak if I’m outside my house, I’d think it rude if they didn’t. So carry on being nice! It’s not weird

@AviationGeek
Wall to wall tits had me howling! Brilliant! 🤣🤣🤣

Oh another one - getting a massage, especially a couples one where you're alongside each other. I get the giggles something rotten imagining DH holding in a fart (I'm bloody 35)

Also once DH got me a massage for my birthday - lovely. She asked me did i want a face massage too, so I said sure why not.
She put a flannel over my face and started pressing my eyeballs but not being a massage connoisseur I didn't know if it was normal or not so I just accepted it and got the silent giggles, just shaking away with a Flannel on my head 😂

I'm autistic, I would run out of space before I finished the list...😆

So many things.
I don't like hugs, kisses or handshakes - so awkward.
Opening gifts in front of the giver.
Compliments.
Walking into a meeting place alone (and potentially not being able to see the person I'm meeting).
Going to the toilet in a pub or restaurant I'm unfamiliar with.
Being at the checkout with a big shop and someone queues behind me with a few items (I usually offer them to go in front but can guarantee someone else will queue up and then I'll feel bad for not letting them in front).
Parallel parking with an audience.
Getting out of a swimming pool/the sea.
Going in or out of a door in a busy place (because I might pull instead of push!).
The list goes on and on.

@Miley1967
'Bat in the cave' 😂🤣🤣

Calling someone by a nickname. 😂
Opening presents infront of people.
Waiting for a small amount of change after paying.
Cheering/wooing at sports events/ concerts/ events find it really awkward for some reason.
The walk back after bowling 😂 or walking down your drive when being picked up, not sure where to look 😂 just walking in general when being watched 😂

Funny but mortifying !!!

All of these!

I truly loathe any sort of stage plays, recitals or pantomime.
Dont know if it’s the exaggeration, or over-acting, but I just screw myself up with embarrassment. When I was very young, 6-13, I did ballet. Could cope with the dancing fine, but OMG, the “mime” we had to do, every damn term, just killed me!
No amount of exaggerated expression or obvious actions were too much - the more, the better!

Having happy birthday sung to me.... what is the socially acceptable protocol here. Do I sit there with a giant smile, staring at the cake? Do I look at the people singing to me, what do I do with my hands? Sitting arms crossed seems abit unbothered, clapping and holding them up seems abit extreme, sitting on them seems abit strange. What am I meant to do? It's the most awkward part of birthdays 😂

Going wayyyy back to my childhood in the 90s now, Christmas carolling was another one! Your standing at the door and a group of people or even 1 person just starts singing and it's rude to close the door on them so you just kinda loiter in your own doorway listening to the carols and then you have to hand over some money. That used to make me feel awkward I'm so glad we don't do that anymore.

Walking past the house of someone I know - makes me insanely awkward every time.

Shaking hands with the minister on the way out of church - no idea what I'm supposed to say or do there. Am I meant to say "Great sermon, thanks!" or ask how they are, or just nod politely?

Going into see the GP and they ask how I am before I've sat down. Is that small talk and I'm meant to say "fine thanks, how are you?", or is that the point at which I'm supposed to say what's wrong with me?