Why are accommodations for autistic people often seen as unfair?

[YourPoisedFinch]

In my last job, I received some accommodations and explained them to colleagues when they asked why I was coming in late. Instead of understanding, they accused me of fraud and faking my condition to get special treatment. This isn’t just my experience—many people with mental health conditions and other invisible disabilities face similar challenges. They’re either not believed and resented for receiving accommodations or believed but then negatively stereotyped.

Some of the replies are just reflective of what is happening to you op.instead of empathy and a bit of understanding. They are all whatsboutme. Mumsnet is rife with ableisim they should be embarrassed at their ignorance but they are not.

Fwiw your situation Is none of your colleagues business your work day is between you and your managers and employers.

But like everything some people take the muck and spoil things for everyone else.

Oh come on now. It does not have to be nasty.

Everyone has stuff going on. If employers could be more flexible in general then most staff would be happier.
And I fully believe people should have adjustment made for disability however sometimes other staff may feel hard done by. I’m not saying it’s unfair at all

A lot of people here demonstrating an atrocious level of ablism.

Accommodations for disabled people are there to ACCOMMODATE their disability.. their disability that means without those accommodations they would struggle to do their job.

The point of them is LEGALLY to level the playing field, an advantage to allow the disadvantaged to do the same as you.

It doesn't matter if you have childcare issues, you're not disabled. It doesn't matter if you have transport issues, you're not disabled. You have ZERO right to be pissed off or think accommodations made for disabled collegues are 'unfair' or to argue because they get 10 mins less in their day that you should because you can't get your kids to nursery on time to get to work.

If your employer chooses to help you, that is their choice, it is NOT a LEGAL OBLIGATION.

ACCCOMMODATIONS ARE A LEGAL OBLIGATION.

ffs. Get your fucking ablist head out of your arses and be glad you're not disabled enough to NEED legal accommodations to be able to do your job.

I have colleagues that refer to “snowflakes” a lot, and there is a lot of debate about how people used to just get on with it and were stronger mentally than they are now. As if coping with life were some sort of Brain Gym and making allowances for people reinforces feebleness!

I think with autism and some other invisible disabilities people think differently, because many more people are becoming aware that they, themselves, may be undiagnosed and masking.

This then brings the "not fair" feelings to the forefront.

Yes in the "good old days" .there was no neurodiversity no anxiety people just got on with it!

You sound good like a good manager. This is the best way of handling it.
My dd has asd, so I can see this from both sides. In teams having someone with significant adjustments can really impact other team members and I think in an ideal world everyone would be offered adjustments to suit their life circumstances. The thing is work isn’t about friendship, charity or family, it’s about making money and at a basic level can be dog eat dog, so I’m not sure how realistic in these circumstances it is to expect others to do more whilst colleagues do less.

It doesn't matter if you have childcare issues, you're not disabled. It doesn't matter if you have transport issues, you're not disabled. You have ZERO right to be pissed off or think accommodations made for disabled collegues are 'unfair' or to argue because they get 10 mins less in their day that you should because you can't get your kids to nursery on time to get to work.

What if the child is disabled and the parent has to drive them to a SEN school many miles away? This is quite a common situation.

I’m disabled and receive reasonable adjustments. But I think adjustments are unreasonable if ultimately they mean somebody is doing less work than others, but being paid the same as them. It’s unreasonable because then we end up with a sliding scale of pay not according to the work or hours, but according to the characteristics of the employee.

Things like wheelchair ramps, wearing noise cancelling headphones, or needing a fixed desk make no difference to colleagues however.

I would make any reasonable adjustment to support anyone because I fundamentally believe if you support people they will deliver. I think the same for people with childcare challenges. We need to be more innovative and logical.

There are lots of people who would benefit from adjustments. Lots of people with undiagnosed disabilities or disabilities they don't want to share.

This is the right approach. A reasonable adjustment shouldn't impact others negatively.

I need to come into work /start late sometimes due to my disability. But I make up the hours on other days or, when I wasn't well enough to do that, I worked reduced hours.

Yes my disability went undiagnosed for over 20 years. I needed the adjustments as much, indeed more, before diagnosis.

What if the child is disabled and the parent has to drive them to a SEN school many miles away? This is quite a common situation.

Yes, i know, i was in that situation and had to give up my job. My employer (one big name supermarket) wouldn't help me, because they weren't legally obliged to, so the choice was my job, or my sons support. I now claim carers allowance.

If that person has any kind of disability and the request is relevant to their condition, then the employer would be obliged to make accommodations for this request.

If it is someone who just wants to change their working hours to fit in with travelling or other arrangements, there is no obligation for the employer to allow that.

Having 'stuff going on' isn't the same as being disabled.

They are only obliged to make reasonable adjustments.

It isn't carte blanche to dictate things to an employer

It can be seen as unfair if you have one person working less hours and doing less work but still getting the same in terms of pay/reward as someone who is working longer ours and expected to be more productive

Im not saying it is. People are human and they can’t always help how they feel.

setting people against each other isn’t the answer.

I feel for you.
Roughly one third of autistic people are unemployed - the highest rate in any disability group (Buckland review Feb 2024).
If the government and employers wish to bring this down then making adjustments is essential.
I am in a similar situation but as a primary care giver. I didn't choose for my child to be autistic. Fortunately, I do have some flexibility from my employer for arrival times and I absolutely make up the time and then some. Everyone knows that.
But even I despair and wonder how tenable my job is long term.
Invisible disabilities - especially when a person is deemed to be "high functioning" - many just don't get it. Added to that the 300% increase in those seeking a diagnosis, leading to bitching about "We're all quirky"/looking for benefits etc, and it's painful, it really is. Even when something doesn't take particularly from others e.g. low-lit, quiet shopping hour or a sunflower lanyard, the cynicism is there. I have seen this and heard this from people, who ought to know better/are better informed.
If they think like that, what are those uneducated on autism, thinking?
Sorry you are having to face this OP.
It seems everything is a race to the bottom these days and competitive.
Maybe it would be easier for all workplaces to adopt flexitime practices (apart from autism is not always predictable in terms of triggers. You have an idea of what is going to cause an issue but my DC still catches me out, even now).
Best of luck to you x

It might feel unfair but it isn’t unfair and you need to check yourself if that’s your view.

It might be if they can’t drive due to a disability.

We are not in communism yet (even though firmly on the road to it). The communist motto is 'to each according to their needs, from each - according to their ability'. The socialist motto is to each according to their work done, from each according to their ability. If your work is less than your colleagues, this is unfair and you should be paid less. My male friend is a catering assistant, works for the government, where they make sure that fairness and equality are respected. He drives (does deliveries to various government buildings from centralised kitchen in his building), lifts heavy crates (had a hernia operation already) and washes dishes and serves food, etc. He gets paid the same as his female colleagues who wash dishes and serve food and don't drive a van, and don't lift heavy crates. I think it is madness when people get paid the same but take the piss and see nothing wrong with it, justifying it with sex or otherwise.

Generally, Autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia etc aren't understood very well. Plus, there are many adults who have never been diagnosed with these conditions whereas as awareness is better now they are recognised. So they know Person A who has Autism but can do X, so don't understand why Person B struggles with it. Or thinks "I find that hard too but I don't get special treatment".

Many people seem to get resentful about Blue Badge parking or wheelchair spaces on buses too, it ist just invisible disabilities.

Is it the whole "walk a mile in my shoes" thing? Many people would like to travel into work when it is a bit quieter or start a bit later. What they don't appreciate as they do not have the disability is that it isn't making things nicer (for what of a better word) it is the difference between you actually being able to get to work and function during that working day and not being able to do that.

I did not say it my view!

I’m saying If a team is badly managed I can see why people would feel it was unfair.