WFH causing school refusal to increase.

[rivalsbinge]

I read a thought provoking post on LinkedIn a comment about school refusals being so much higher since WFH became more "normal"

In essence the thought was a lack of everyone up, dressed out the door, it's now kids up breakfast dressed smart, out the door with parents in PJs or leisure wear going back home to work and the kids knowing that parents are at home makes them more likely to want to also stay home.

Obviously the parents do work but the kids (age dependent) are not seeing this and are thinking work/ school is now optional.

I did think this poster may have a valid point but interested in what others think, I'm also not talking about SEN and other considerations.

It’s interesting - more relevant for primary school children I would think? But then that’s when habits form so it is important.

You know that stage when your child has a cold but could manage at school but will be completely wiped out by it? Or are looking a bit peaky? Or its been 36hrs since the last sickness?

A lot easier to swing to a day off when there's someone at home to keep an eye on them.

Well historically women stayed home as housewives and I don't recall us having the same issues so I think it's bullshit to be honest.

Have they correlated wifh parents and school refusers? I know of one and he's autistic and can't cope in school and I don't blame him.
Don't children usually need taking to school? Ie they don't see parents start work at office or home whatever they do?

In terms of modelling behaviour for your children, it’s obvious that it’s better for them to see you up and dressed and off to work everyday than sitting in your PJs at a laptop.

If this is true, then it's down to a general attitude at home.
If both parents are in bed then I think it's hard for dc to get up and get ready. If everyone is up, then it's easier.

I think it’s more likely linked with the pandemic which happened at the same time as the increase in WFH. Otherwise why wasn’t there this problem when having a non-working stay at home parent was the norm back in the 80s and 90s. School refusal wasn’t a thing then (or perhaps it was but kids could just walk out of school because they weren’t locked and caged in)

As a counter to that you could easily argue that work sick days for little things like colds have disappeared and therefore parents as role models showing kids that they have to get on with it.

I know in our place sick days, other than for really serious matters are a thing of the past

The media will discuss any issue around school refusal except the fact that schools are toxic dysfunctional environments where bullying and assault is swept under the carpet and children are routinely and repeatedly victimised.

I had a brilliant job outside the home. I had to give it up and get a lower paid WFH role because my daughter was unable to reliably attend school. Now that I wfh, I'm better able to support her (and take her at 1pm if that's all she can manage) but correlation and causation were quite the other way around for us.

If you have a "school refuser" - and you cannot simply cover yourself by saying "SEN excluded" because I reckon the vast vast vast majority of those with EBSNA (emotional based school non attendance) have undiagnosed SEN - then your world can become incredibly small incredibly quickly.

I admit I get up everyday earlier than I have to, even though my DC are teens and can sort themselves. I don’t like the idea of them going off to school while I’m still lounging in bed.

Interesting and blindingly obvious once it’s pointed out. WFH is normalising not leaving your house during the day and living in an almost exclusively online world without face-to-face human contact.

There might be some elements of a less rigorous approach but tbh I think as a pp said it's easier to have a child at home who's a little off colour than it used to be - so instead of coughing and spluttering over everyone else they're staying home.
Anecdotally we see more absence but fewer children who seem a bit unwell.

Also wtf is wrong with 'leisure wear'? Personally I'd feel weird working in my pjs but I 'dress up' even at the weekend. Why should we have to have the trad model of suits, lunch in hand and out the door?

Those who are so quick to decry working from home also ignore the massive benefits it can bring for families. It's a complex and evolving issue / some benefits and disadvantages for women for example. The constant blaming of wfh for the destruction of society is frankly bizarre

Historically there was better discipline and attendance

What a load of rubbish 😅 DH and I both work from home, and we're up and dressed like normal!

I can't think of any of my colleagues who WFH in pyjamas! I've only done it once, when I was unwell (only worked a few hours to cover urgent business - if I'd been office based I wouldn't have made it in at all).

I can't see a correlation for us - having the kids at home is really challenging when trying to work.

I work from home but always get dressed and have a lot of human contact throughout the day with video calls, all of my colleagues also appear to be dressed. Who are all these people who work in their PJs?

Absolutely. They are trapped in these environments all day. Once you’re in it’s very difficult to get out. So understandable that many would rather not go in at all.

I wfh, but am up and dressed early every day. DS also has 100% attendance. The two are unrelated!

Only full time WFH. Most office workers are hybrid.

Workplaces come in different shapes and sizes.

This is down to parents not parenting.

The PJs and leisure wear part wasn't the main point they were eluding to the more causal approach to work wear and perception of a less formal work uniform.

I did think that historically women did stay home but I would imagine then the roles were clearly defined and you wouldn't want to be at home with mum who's busy and cleaning and cooking all day incase you got roped into helping or looking after younger siblings etc.

Before people blame the pandemic, it was also an issue in the 10 years prior in the community where my dc's school was, non working parents (whether due to long term illness, disability, choice to be a sahm or work shy) had dc with far higher levels of absenteeism than those who worked outside of the home at all ages. Some can be explained by circumstances but the senco put most of it down to not valuing education and parents without any GCSEs themselves were most likely to have dc with poor attendance. Obviously complex issues in many cases but the school had staff to go and fetch some students who were a particular problem. My dc wasn't helping their stats, she has asd, but I did ensure that she started school every day, unfortunately by 11/12 I was often picking her up!

Another who gets up every day before the kids leave for school, gets dressed to wfh and has often gone to the gym before they leave for school.

I do agree that the younger one (yr10 now) probably gets more benefit of the doubt to stay home if a bit poorly vs the pre wfh days of “go in and see how you get on” with the older one. But that isn’t school refusal.

Or maybe the school system is broken and isn't fit for purpose anymore.Its actually more damaging for some kids than positive.

Schools are now dangerous and in some cases toxic. Universities are extremely expensive and closing down. Graduates are no longer guaranteed good jobs. Housing is unaffordable and wages too low.

So where is the incentive for young people to aspire to?

The economy is based on us all staying on our hamster wheels and running along with no thought or choice.

Maybe we've got to a point where just trying to shoehorn people including kids, into old ways of doing things is just falling apart.

I think school refusal is the tip of the iceberg and blaming WFH is lazy thinking.

I would like to see some proper statistics on this. I suspect it is complex.

I do a job where WFH is not really possible so have no 'skin in the game' but I am suspicious because there is this push back to the office (despite the fact a lot of businesses don't have sufficient office space any more).

It always seems to come down to blaming the parent/worker and not the situation and the management.