WFH causing school refusal to increase.

[rivalsbinge]

I read a thought provoking post on LinkedIn a comment about school refusals being so much higher since WFH became more "normal"

In essence the thought was a lack of everyone up, dressed out the door, it's now kids up breakfast dressed smart, out the door with parents in PJs or leisure wear going back home to work and the kids knowing that parents are at home makes them more likely to want to also stay home.

Obviously the parents do work but the kids (age dependent) are not seeing this and are thinking work/ school is now optional.

I did think this poster may have a valid point but interested in what others think, I'm also not talking about SEN and other considerations.

10% of the kids in my class have awful attendance. Ohhh doesn't that sound bad? Well it's 3 out of 30 kids but hey ho. They all have a SAHP/career. Oh I know, I know... SAHP are the cause of poor attendance. Facts!

Now let's look at the actual facts.

Parent 1 became a SAHP because their child is very ill, with long stints in hospital and high caring needs and treatment. The illness itself and long stints in hospital, have made the child anxious and depressed as every return it's like the first day of school for them, and even when they manage to settle they're off again.

Parent 2 was always a SAHM but has a child with significant needs that is still non verbal and in nappies at 8. The child functions at the level of a 2 yo at best. Now, that worked for a while in EYFS but the environment now is too much for them and completely unsuitable even with a 1 2 1. The child is STILL on the waiting list for an SEN school (possibly September) despite being diagnosed since 4.

Parent 3 is actually a retired family member with a child that came into their care due to severe abuse, neglect and trauma. The child simply can't cope . Don't get me wrong, things are in place and work is being done to improve the situation, but at the moment it is what it is. Sure we can force the child in, we can refuse to send them home etc. and have them all day curled up under a table shaking ,crying and self harming . 100% attendance yay! Or we can suck up the poor attendance and have little sessions to ease them in , become familiar with staff and a couple of peers , make it pleasant and build trust and reassure them they're safe.

But if the parents of children who don't need additional needs step up and sort of the behaviour of their children it would make school considerably better for all.

Telling teachers to fuck off, grabbing young girl's breasts, telling anyone that isn't white to ' go back home'? They are someone's child.

Too many parents make excuse after excuse for their children, expect schools to do the work of parenting as well as education, they are not prepared to put in any effort. This is part of the reason that many children find main stream hard.

It would help everybody if more parents were honest to themselves and saw their child as part of society not just an entitled individual whose needs come above everyone else's.

Then more time at school could be spent with children who have additional needs than crowd control.

But right now if your child is going through the education system, as it is, and the external factors are not working or just not there no matter even if you do finally get an EHCP plan in place, if it can't be fulfilled it can't be fulfilled, we as parents have to find another way.

Yes, regarding the hospital appointments, my DC attends a school an hour from home as she has an EHCP and it was the nearest that could meet her needs.

She had some hospital appointments recently (orthopaedics, crutches) and the official advice was she should go in before and after the appointments (so 4 hours of travelling those days!) I did send her in before for the afternoon ones and after for the one that was cancelled on the day, but before and after?!

Aw @BlueSilverCats they're lucky to have you! But never let facts get in the way of a good headline eh .

yet another corporate male trying to shame people back into the office to the detriment of the work-life balance of mainly female mothers.
I WFH. I’m up and dressed every morning to walk my son to school. His father who works in an office is “unable” to do this due to the time it takes to commute to work.

It's a huge simplification to assume that every single household has parents with 9 to 5 jobs who left the house every morning.
What about shift workers, stay at home parents? Disabled non-working parents? Are these also having problems with school refusal?
If it's the dad only at home, are they having issues with their kids not going to school? Or just the mums?

I would like to see some evidence, backed up by research, that people who formally worked in an office/other 9 to 5 weekday job but are now at home are the parents of the majority of school refusers.

I work from home, the last thing I want is small children under my feet while I try to do my job.

I clearly touched a nerve! I know loads of people who love the quiet life of wfh. I don’t understand what is wrong with that. I totally understand why lots of children don’t like the school environment and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that either. I happen to like the office ‘chit chat’ but I don’t think that makes me a better or more productive person than anyone else. Why would it?

It certainly does, unfortunately. My child with SEN was also peeled off me at the gate at 6 years old, having been physically dragged out of the front door without any shoes or socks on. And that continued until she was 11, when it just wasn't physically possible anymore and felt downright abusive. So we had to rethink all of our expectations and accept that, having forced her into an environment that she couldn't cope with for so many years, we couldn't force her anymore.

I now work part-time, mostly from home, because of this. My workplace is hybrid for most staff, I should really be in more than I am but they're understanding of the difficulties. DD is 14 now and has never successfully returned to school.

My ability to WFH after the pandemic had literally FUCK ALL to do with her inability to attend school. But it did allow me to keep my job (after sick leave and then reducing my hours by more than 50%). I'm thankful for that.

Don't think evidence is on your side here!

Agree

The graph of attendance is really interesting. A lot is being made of how attendance at school has plummeted since Covid, and it has. But tracking backwards it looks like attendance 20 years ago was pretty bad - and that won't have been due to WFH. Currently only 13% of the population work from home full time so this scenario of both parents lounging around the mornings with no routine of leaving to go to work doesn't seem like it would contribute much to the problem.

Still, it is clear that attendance post-covid is a real concern. Some of this is parents taking more term-time holidays, and I think the stats back that up. No one seems to be saying that there has been a genuine increase in illness despite this seeming like an obvious consequence of a pandemic (long covid, as well as kids still getting covid leading to them being off school).

The gold section of kids who are missing more than 50% of school sessions - we know that there has been a huge increase in children with mental health problems. We also know that CAMHS has effectively collapsed in some areas of the country. This seems a more likely contributor to those stats than parents both WFH.

You can WFH and still parent your DC.

No this doesn’t make any sense. People working from home causes school refusal but the days of many women being stay at home mums didn’t?

It’s just another ‘get back to the office - save commercial retain’ angle.

Is this article talking about school refusal or just normal school absences? Because these two things are not the same. School refusal are kids who are consistently refusing to go to school due to anxiety/bullying or other issues.

I am more likely to let my kids take the day off or at least the morning, to see how they go, if they say they are feeling unwell as I am home. More parents were probably pushing unwell children to go to school when the parent needed to go out to work.

@MikeRafone

Perhaps having 13 weeks off school a year isn't helping and the children shouldn't have such long periods of time away from education and going to school - so scrap the 6 weeks summer break and make the longest break two weeks

How do you explain better outcomes in private schools in the UK & state schools in other countries (especially Nordic countries) where they have maybe 8 weeks just in the summer alone. I don't think forcing children in more will resolve any absence issues.

I don't know how people aren't aware of the 6 weeks hols before having children. We also know holiday companies increase prices during those periods. This wouldn't be solved by having 4 weeks in the summer.

And you won't, because there is none. There's not a chance in hell schools have decent data on main location of parental workplace. Because why would they, really? And why would we supply it?

Agree!

I go into the office a couple or times a week, more if needed, less if not needed. Work policy is 3 days per week, my contract was never amended post-covid so I'm not sure what 'officialdom' thinks my 'workplace' is.

LinkedIn is like facebook nowadays. I don't know why anyone would take anything they see on there seriously. Both of us continued to WFH since COVID and our children have never just decided they aren't attending school just because they know mum & dad are at home. The whole "WFH is affecting society blahhhhh blahhhhhh" is getting so boring now.

Nothing wrong with working from home because you like the quiet life. Nothing wrong with working from an office because you like the chit chat.

My point was with rising costs of commuting and childcare vs stagnating wages and a post-covid reevaluation of work/life balance, I don’t think liking the quiet life or not is the main motivator for any parents making a choice either way and I disagree with your suggestion that introvert parents who avoid the office are having introvert children who avoid school.

I'm working from home full time.

I don't work in my pyjamas and I don't leave the house in my pyjamas.

Ours kids go to school and nursery all the time apart from when they're really ill.

I think it's just another made up BS from the anti wfh brigade.

It just smacks of yet another reason for people to berate those who WFH.

I've WFH for years as I've worked for global businesses. I now WFH for a UK based business that has closed most of its offices as the WFH model has proved more profitable.

I'm always up before DD and dressed professionally with washed hair and makeup. Wouldn't dream of appearing on a Teams call in my PJs and neither would my colleagues.

The constant bashing of those who WFH is getting really tiresome.

I suppose it depends on your definition of work from home.

I wfh for 4.5 years March 20-August 24. During that time routine was get up, get ds up, both dressed, drop ds at school bus, home to log on, log off at 5.15, collect ds from school bus at 5.30, home to do another hour work.

At no time did I spend my life in PJs or leisurewear. I was on video calls for at least half the day. I didn't go out for coffee or to the gym. The most I ever managed was putting supper in the slow cooker or going for a quick run at lunchtime.

DS never saw me in anything except work clothes and school refusal was not something I was going to tolerate.

you don't get a choice of "not tolerating" school refusal when you have a grown teenager point blank refusing to get in the car, walk to school etc because they're having a huge meltdown with extreme anxiety at the prospect of school. If only it was as easy as simply saying you won't tolerate it!

More family-blaming from the government instead of looking at the real problem behind the attendance issues and their part in the problem.

I see no evidence of that. My ds has 18 weeks school holiday a year, and got 9 good GCSEs last summer. After that he spent the first three weeks of his holiday sleeping in, lazing around and losing that strained, tired post-exam look.

Then he spent the rest of the summer enjoying his freedom, sunshine, friends, fresh air, cycling, swimming etc. I wouldn't have it any other way.

This year he's doing maths, physics and design tech A'levels. He can spend this summer and next (after A levels) doing the same. Childhood doesn't last long. I don't begrudge him a minute of it.