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Original poster

What would you say to nursery/how would you say it?

59 replies

whattosaynursery · 14/02/2025 11:43

When our 3 year old went for his first settling in session at nursery we spent the hour in the office talking to the manager. She said that the apps they use would be updated every day and photos would be added every day that he was in nursery and if they weren’t I should ask the staff for them.

We got photos after his first settling in session which was great as he’d only been in for an hour! Then on the next settling in session his key worker wasn’t there and we didn’t get any photos. I did send a message to ask but I didn’t get a reply. I left it with it being another hour long settling in session and it not being his key worker. His next settling in session was for 2 hours and they put on 80/90 photos of all the children doing things with some pictures of my child in there which completely fine it’s not like I was expecting individual photo posts every day just something.
On his first non settling in session day they put on some photos of him eating as they knew I was concerned about it. I didn’t get anything else that day but I was okay with it as I was still getting something. When he next went in I sent a message asking if they could put some photos on like last time so that we could see how he was doing and they put a few photos on not long after he had arrived so I could see he was happily playing which I really appreciated. Then the next day when he went in I got no pictures again and when I asked they didn’t reply.

They also don’t update the app properly so I don’t really know what he has eaten or if he has slept unless I message them and ask or ask when I pick him up… The last time he was in he was asleep and I only found out because I messaged to ask if he had eaten his tea (he’s not the best at eating) and he was still asleep when I picked him up and hadn’t had his second dose of medicine…

So I guess I’m asking how and who do I speak to about this. I think the app should be updated when he’s had his medicine at a minimum as it needs a 4 hour gap in between minimum and I feel like I should be getting the photos without having to ask or the manager shouldn’t have said I’d get them every day? I just don’t know 🤷‍♀️

If it matters he has a speech delay and can’t tell us what he has been doing and is on a waiting list to be tested for autism. I also have autism so I probably do worry more than a neurotypical parent 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 12:13

Msrachel · 15/02/2025 13:23

My twin two year olds are in nursery OP and they use the app religiously. All meals, snacks, nappy changes, medication, temp checks are included on there, and I get pictures every day. Sometimes I get a couple of each individual baby, sometimes just a stack of photos of the whole class and I flick through to find my two. I usually get some in the morning and some in the afternoon, all on the app!

They definitely still spend their time properly looking after the children and the children play all day, they usually send photos of their activity e.g they’ve spent time in the garden or sensory room or they’ve done them a messy play tray or painting etc.

i absolutely love my nursery!

If they’d said they’d be doing the same I’d just casually bring it up and say you’re worrying about him and so were hoping for more pictures, info, etc, see what they say. It might not be the right nursery for you!

I think this is exactly what I was told I would be getting so it is now what I expect to happen!! It takes a lot of trust to put your children in nursery so I do feel like I should be getting what I was told I would get 🤔

I might just send them a message and if they want to speak to me about it in person then they can or if not they can just reply to the message I don’t know 🤷‍♀️🙈

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 17/02/2025 12:16

I suspect that if it's a nursery that also takes younger children, the manager gave you the general information about how they use the app, but as PPs have said, it tails off a bit when they reach pre-school age. I think it's a combination of higher ratios, and most of the children being more independent. So in the baby room, we got detailed information about nappy changes, the toddler room were quite good on recording toilet visits, and the preschool room just lets them take themselves to the toilet so they don't record that. We get a generic write-up of the days activities on the app and a selection of photos which normally include all the children somewhere in them. But recently they've had to change the menu to keep up with new guidelines and parents are more concerned to know exactly what their children have eaten, so the staff have devoted more time to a detailed breakdown of what each child has tried, and are not always doing the activity write-up. I don't think anyone minds as they're focusing on what parents want.

I think for you, OP, I'd go in and focus on the information you really need to have, i.e. you need the medication times recorded, and possibly the sleep timings. I wouldn't insist on the general photos of children playing. Information about how your child is integrating generally, what activities he does, etc., is more easily communicated in a quick handover chat and keyworker meetings at regular intervals (ours offers this once a term).

Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 12:48

Bababear987 · 15/02/2025 13:36

I think some people are being very dismissive here. You were sold a service (nursery is not cheap) and they arent following through.
I live for those photos of my baby smiling and playing and usually get multiple a day so dont see why it's not being done. The ratio for my childs age group is 3:1 so a few photos and updating an app should be easy enough, medicine should be done asap really for safety reasons.
Your child obviously is a bit older but one person in the room could quite easily be uploading a picture- literally takes seconds per child. Definitely speak to the manager. At the very least you need to know when child is eating, sleeping and taking medicines.

I think because he is about a year-a year and a half behind in his social and communication development and can only speak with single words, occasionally 2 I do see him as being a lot younger than he actually is and that maybe the care he is getting and the updates we receive should reflect that but I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

I think the medicine issue has definitely made my worry a lot worse 😬

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Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 12:54

cansu · 15/02/2025 13:39

You keep saying how they promised this and that. I am not sure why you are so fixated on this. They obviously promised what they can't really deliver. This is not that unusual.

Tell them clearly what to do about the medicine if he is asleep or if possible just give it at home. Is it for a short term illness or forever?

The rest you should let go and simply ask how his day has been when you pick him up or ask specifics if you need them.

Because it is surly wrong to promise something to a clearly anxious parent and then not do it??

It’s 3 times a day for 3 months and I told them the times he needed to be given it and assumed they would do that or at least ask me if there were any questions 🤷‍♀️

I honestly thought it would be easier for them to update an app as if they are talking to me outside then they are not with the children 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 12:58

beautyqueeen · 15/02/2025 14:31

I don’t think it’s normal to have that level of info eg eating/sleeping/reassurance photos for a preschool aged child. Do many 3yr olds still actually nap?! Mine stopped at 1! We used to just get a rundown of the day at pickup, she’s done X, had X for lunch, fell over ant forest school etc. They would post photos occasional on the parents Facebook group but never send individually to parents and this was a private outstanding ofsted rated best in the area nursery.

I would message the nursery and say ‘when we signed up you said xyz would happen and it hasn’t’ and see what they say. Maybe they just meant they would do that for the settling in period? I can’t see how it would be feasible to do that for every child in preschool with ratios they’ll have!

Is it not different when the child has SEN though? Other than his physical development he is more like a 2 year old 🤷‍♀️

I asked the manager what communication was like and she said that drop offs and pick ups are quick (or something very close to that) but we would get photos at the end of every day and the other app would be updated daily so I don’t think that’s it either

OP posts:
Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 13:04

MsSquiz · 15/02/2025 12:20

My daughter (2.5) is currently in nursery 3 days a week and they found the staff were spending forever trying to update apps for each child so they changed to WhatsApp communication. They have a group for each day, and once or twice a day the group is sent a whole load of photos along with what they've had for morning snack & lunch, and again in the late afternoon with an update of what is for dinner.
Then every couple of weeks the key workers update the apps with a selection of photos and a written update on progress plus the ofsted ticking boxes part.

This seems to work really well and it means at pick up they can say "she didn't eat much" or "she had an hours nap after lunch"

Maybe suggest this as an alternative?

They have WhatsApp which they have on a phone that they have with them all day which is how I found out about him being asleep as I messaged to ask if he had eaten anything which they replied to in a minute so they must have some time 🤷‍♀️ I think they probably have too many apps (WhatsApp to talk to parents if they message them, an app for photos and announcements, an app for nappy changes ect. and an app for observations which I think they do monthly or termly or something but they haven’t decided if my child is going to be observed in line with the EYFS or the SEN plan from what the manger said)

OP posts:
Original poster
whattosaynursery · 17/02/2025 13:06

RIPVPROG · 17/02/2025 12:03

We used to get pictures a couple of times a week but without fail we got nappy changes, food, naps, medicine, accident reports on the app. I think if you were getting these you'd be less concerned about the photos. We always got a verbal update on collection too in terms of what he'd been doing that day.
I think it's ok to say due to his additional needs and medications it's really important you get accurate updates on those things. The photos I think is less of an issue.

I think you’re probably right and the medication issue has just made me panic 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
whattosaynursery · 18/02/2025 18:18

I sent them a message this morning and the apps were fully updated today and we were sent a few photos about 4 hours after dropping him off 😊 His key worker even spoke to us for a few minutes when we picked him up so I don’t think it was an issue at all 😊

OP posts:
countrysidedeficit · 19/02/2025 20:21

That's good, glad you got things sorted in a way you're happy with.

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