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Original poster

Disappointing advice from GP regarding weight management, where to go for help?

33 replies

Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 09:27

Quick background - DS19 has suffered with mental health issues since he was young. He struggled with a lot of school anxiety/school refusal at secondary school but I managed to get him some therapy which put him in a better frame of mind, he left school, got himself an apprenticeship and has been in a good place since.

He has always been very slim but over the last year he has gained 8 stone in weight. He appears to be ok mentally and I believe this weight gain is probably because is his now more content and relaxed in life, in a relationship and slipping into poor foods choices as he has a tendency to not come home for dinner and eat out a lot since he's been driving and earning.

He hasn't been feeling well recently and seems to pick up a virus/cold almost every other week. He is also getting a lot of tummy pain and feeling nauseated a lot of the time. I am worried his unhealthy lifestyle and large weight gain is going to result in poor health.

He went to the GP yesterday for advice on weight loss as I had hoped they may be able to guide him to a weight loss management programme but all the GP said to him was for him to make better food choices and eat healthy (well, surely if he was doing such a thing he would not have gain such a large amount of weight in 12 months).

So, where can he go for advice? He refuses to go anywhere like Weight Watchers or Slimming World as he says it will all be full of older women and he will feel uncomfortable. I have suggested that he tries a local gym and asks the PT there to help him but he hates any form of exercise and the only sports he likes is motor racing. He is going to get a bike soon so he can bike to work so hopefully that will help.

Any advice? I am worried if he doesn't start tackling this soon he will fall into a trap of being very overweight and not having any incentive to lose it.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 14/02/2025 09:30

Maybe he could try online Slimming World or Weightwatchers. Or just start having three nutritious sensible meals a day not takeaways. He should lose weight quickly at his age.

Quitelikeit · 14/02/2025 09:30

8 stone weight gain in one year is very alarming and not normal!

Can he get his thyroid tested?

is he taking a ssri?

if none of those things then he must be eating way over what is anywhere near normal

OneWaryCat · 14/02/2025 09:36

We have found following the Tim Spector guidance of trying to eat less processed foods and as many plants a week very useful and rewarding.

Can you teach him about meal prep and pre plan some healthy meals so he isn't just going straight to junk or convenience?

And I hope this doesn't sound like a mean comment, as this isn't intended, but your son is an adult and needs to educate himself on healthy foods and what to eat, not rely on GP services to do it for him. Services are so stretched, I can see why they don't have the time or money to help him when it's his own responsibility.

As I said, not trying to be mean, I know it can be hard to lose weight but it sounds like a few lifestyle changes may help the weight naturally come off.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Exercise & fitness Fitness Weight management
cheezncrackers · 14/02/2025 09:38

Quitelikeit · 14/02/2025 09:30

8 stone weight gain in one year is very alarming and not normal!

Can he get his thyroid tested?

is he taking a ssri?

if none of those things then he must be eating way over what is anywhere near normal

I agree. 8 stone in a year is an extraordinary amount of weight to gain for someone who was previously slim. The tummy pain and nausea could be lots of things and it could be related to poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle e.g. acid reflux/indigestion, IBS or some other digestive issue. However, it could also be something more serious like an under-active thyroid. The GP really should have referred him for some tests and I think he needs to go back and be clear about the amount of weight he's gained very suddenly and request some investigation.

Meecrowahvey · 14/02/2025 09:40

8 stone in a year? That's about 392,000 excess calories he's eaten in a year to gain that.

I'd go back and ask for some test to rule out other causes.

Cantonet · 14/02/2025 09:44

I took would be alarmed at that amount of weight gain in such a short time. Unless he's on some form of medication such as antidepressants/antipsychotics etc.
Its also worrying that he's starting to feel ill & nauseated. He needs at the complete minimum a check up with full bloods taken to see if there's any underlying issues.

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 14/02/2025 09:44

Agree with others for bloods to rule out thyroid issue then I would suggest Mounjaro. As someone who struggled with weight my whole life and tried everything, it’s really been amazing for me as it has helped me stick to a healthy diet and got rid of the food noise and cravings which I struggled with, I discussed it with my GP prior to starting and had bloods.

CrotchetyQuaver · 14/02/2025 09:47

What medication is he on?
Could there be an under active thyroid contributing to this?
I think the bottom line is that he IS going to have to put in a lot of effort himself to shift the weight - better food choices and moving more. What is he eating/drinking now? A personal trainer sounds like a good idea.

I've struggled with my weight for many years and still 1 1/2 stone heavier than I should be to be spot on with BMI so my comments are made with sympathy and understanding.

TidyDancer · 14/02/2025 09:50

At that age I would probably suggest a couple of months of recording everything he eats/drinks on an app like MyFitnessPal (there are other similar ones too). It might help him spot patterns to make small changes. Mounjaro might be an option to consider but given that he was previously slim and it's a very rapid weight gain I would look at other things first.

Brainstem · 14/02/2025 09:52

OP, no one puts on eight stone in a year because they’re more relaxed and happy.

Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:13

Quitelikeit · 14/02/2025 09:30

8 stone weight gain in one year is very alarming and not normal!

Can he get his thyroid tested?

is he taking a ssri?

if none of those things then he must be eating way over what is anywhere near normal

It's really alarming, I'm very worried about him. Everyone keeps telling me how shocked they are when they see him as he used to be so slim. He is quite tall (6 ft 2) but even so, it's a big gain.

The GP has arranged for blood tests (ds wasn't sure what she was checking though) but he can't get an appointment until 7/3 so a bit of a wait still.

OP posts:
Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:17

OneWaryCat · 14/02/2025 09:36

We have found following the Tim Spector guidance of trying to eat less processed foods and as many plants a week very useful and rewarding.

Can you teach him about meal prep and pre plan some healthy meals so he isn't just going straight to junk or convenience?

And I hope this doesn't sound like a mean comment, as this isn't intended, but your son is an adult and needs to educate himself on healthy foods and what to eat, not rely on GP services to do it for him. Services are so stretched, I can see why they don't have the time or money to help him when it's his own responsibility.

As I said, not trying to be mean, I know it can be hard to lose weight but it sounds like a few lifestyle changes may help the weight naturally come off.

Edited

No, I totally understand but the annoying thing is he is a really a great cook and used to prepare healthy meals himself at home. He knows what's healthy for him and what isn't but chooses to bury his head in the sand about it all.

We have always eaten healthy as a family so no idea why he's fallen into such bad habits.

OP posts:
Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:20

CrotchetyQuaver · 14/02/2025 09:47

What medication is he on?
Could there be an under active thyroid contributing to this?
I think the bottom line is that he IS going to have to put in a lot of effort himself to shift the weight - better food choices and moving more. What is he eating/drinking now? A personal trainer sounds like a good idea.

I've struggled with my weight for many years and still 1 1/2 stone heavier than I should be to be spot on with BMI so my comments are made with sympathy and understanding.

He isn't on any meds at all.

We do have thyroid issues in the family so I hope the blood tests the GP has arranged will check for those.

OP posts:
FeathersMcgraww · 14/02/2025 10:24

What is his BMI now OP? Just trying to work out how overweight he actually is, as if he’s significantly so then it seems both concerning that it’s happened in such a short amount of time and also that the dr is uninterested in checking if anything else could be causing it. I would definitely call back and ask to make an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion and ask for blood tests.

DeepFatFried · 14/02/2025 10:28

He hasn't been feeling well recently and seems to pick up a virus/cold almost every other week. He is also getting a lot of tummy pain and feeling nauseated a lot of the time.

Surely that needed to be the focus of the GP visit, not weight gain?

Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:29

FeathersMcgraww · 14/02/2025 10:24

What is his BMI now OP? Just trying to work out how overweight he actually is, as if he’s significantly so then it seems both concerning that it’s happened in such a short amount of time and also that the dr is uninterested in checking if anything else could be causing it. I would definitely call back and ask to make an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion and ask for blood tests.

In the red, according to the NHS app.

Disappointing advice from GP regarding weight management, where to go for help?
OP posts:
Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:32

DeepFatFried · 14/02/2025 10:28

He hasn't been feeling well recently and seems to pick up a virus/cold almost every other week. He is also getting a lot of tummy pain and feeling nauseated a lot of the time.

Surely that needed to be the focus of the GP visit, not weight gain?

This is what he originally went for and I asked him to mention his large weight gain but she wasn't interested in that. She never checked his weight or his blood pressure etc. She has prescribed IBS meds and arranged for bloods but the next available appointment for those is 7th March so a little wait as yet.

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 14/02/2025 10:47

I am following the Zoe programme (Tim Spector's company). I have lost almost 2.5 stone since early November. My resting heart rate has gone down by 10 too. My blood pressure is also better.

taxguru · 14/02/2025 10:56

Eating the wrong foods (processed/convenience/takeaways) along with a newly sedentary lifestyle (i.e. sitting all day at work, long driving, sitting in evenings) can rapidly increase weight. Especially in a major change of lifestyle, i.e. leaving school/college, starting work, getting a car, etc).

Assuming there is no health reason, then the answer is for him to eat less and move more at least to stop the weight gain, and then when it plateaus and is steady, he can start to see about losing it. It's all about getting out of his recently acquired bad habits and getting used to good habits, i.e. fewer takeaways, smaller portions, less junk/convenience foods, more activity, etc.

Joining something like WW is pointless if he's not fully invested in it. He needs to "own" his health and wellbeing. He doesn't need to go on hugely restrictive diets nor go to the gym every day as that kind of thing is nearly always short term and he'd soon lose interest. Far more likely to work is lots of small incremental changes throughout the day. Smaller breakfast, parking further away so having to walk a few minutes more to/from the car, not stopping off when driving to buy junk like crisps or chocolate bars, smaller lunches, a mid-day walk for 15-20 minutes, earlier evening meal, nothing to eat after mid evening, etc.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 14/02/2025 11:03

Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 10:20

He isn't on any meds at all.

We do have thyroid issues in the family so I hope the blood tests the GP has arranged will check for those.

Show quote history

I would defo check his thyroid but to be honest with this kind of weight gain if his thyroid was an issue he would have many many other symptoms that would be very noticeable. Severe exhaustion for one, extremely dry skin, constipation, etc (you can easily see the symptoms online). In lieu of no other symptoms I would just gently suggest this is another issue and while always good to rule out anything medical it would seem his diet is to blame.

I have hypo so I know from experience even at horrific levels of inactive thyroid this is an extreme amount of weight to gain.

LadyTable · 14/02/2025 11:09

I'd wait and see what the blood tests come back with.

As others have said, going from very slim to gaining 8 stone in a year is totally alarming.

Once the blood tests are back, he might get more help from the GP to lose weight.

He should also try his local FB groups etc to see if there are any male weight loss classes.

Failing that, if he's serious about losing weight he'll just have to go to a regular one no matter who else attends.

Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 12:27

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 14/02/2025 11:03

I would defo check his thyroid but to be honest with this kind of weight gain if his thyroid was an issue he would have many many other symptoms that would be very noticeable. Severe exhaustion for one, extremely dry skin, constipation, etc (you can easily see the symptoms online). In lieu of no other symptoms I would just gently suggest this is another issue and while always good to rule out anything medical it would seem his diet is to blame.

I have hypo so I know from experience even at horrific levels of inactive thyroid this is an extreme amount of weight to gain.

Show quote history

He does have many of those symptoms.

My mum has hyperthyroidism, so too did my grandad and my sister has hypothyroidism and parathyroid disease.

OP posts:
Original poster
Normansglasseye · 14/02/2025 12:30

Thanks everyone. We will wait for the blood test results and take it from there.

In the meantime I've spoken a our PT from our village, many of my friends go to him and say he's great. He says he can definitely help ds but obviously he's going to have to want to do this himself. I can only but guide and support him.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 14/02/2025 12:34

Sounds like a medical issue is quite likely

If he starts biking to work and that's a regular thing, that will help. The other is weight training. Exchanging muscle for fat will burn it all off even faster so I'd get a PT [assuming it's affordable] to focus on that. A body coach subscription is an alternative.

Is he buying all the unhealthy food himself? Because not having it in the house if you're doing the shopping is the best way to support him.

If a PT is affordable I'd also be taking him private medically to square away that risk quickly and expedite the tests. He must be at risk of diabetes with such a huge weight gain.

Bjorkdidit · 14/02/2025 12:48

He needs to work out how to make it easier to access better choices when he's hungry, ie prepping food and having it with him, or buying better food while out, because I suspect a lot of it is he's hungry after work, so he's getting fast food rather than coming home to make something healthy because that's obviously much quicker/easier and means he has food 'now' instead of in an hour or two's time.

But with a family history of underactive thyroids, that does sound like a possibility.