Anyone else's kids never get invited to playdates?

[RadStag]

Seriously. It's starting to bother me now!

Since September DD5 has been invited on 1 play date. We've invited 8 kids. Not a single reciprocating invitation. No initial invitations

We know others are having multiple play times.

It's a bit depressing really that it feels like we're always the ones asking.

Yes found this too😞 Some parents love the free childcare but would never reciprocate 🙄 There's a big gap between my 2 children and it hasn't changed in 25 years.

How many have you had over? Have they all accepted?

8, yes. Well, ok 3 were at a playground, but we initiated all of them.

So you suggested meeting at playground and they said yes and joined you and your. Children at the playground?

that is not a play date 😆

Working parents? We never did 'play dates'.

My children definitely went to more play dates than we invited back

wasnt like I was forcing parents to invite my children over 🤷

It's just about sad for me that Sophie merrily talk about "I'm having a playdate with Hattie" and Charlie will say "I'm having 3 playdates! With Sammy, then with Isobel and in Friday with Grace"

I'm very nice to them and say "how lovely, sounds like fun" etc. but it's the same kids we've invited... they're all playing with each other, and we literally never get invited.

I keep asking the kids DD wants. One of them I gave up after they were ill twice. And they never bothered chasing it up so they probably never wanted to play in the first place, which is fine.

It's just sad for me she never gets invited in the first place.

What the fuck is it then, if it's not a date where the kids are playing together??

Play dates in reception are more based on parental socialising, it’s a chance for parents to figure out who they will befriend and hang out with and cooperate with for the next 6 years. So perhaps this isn’t an issue of your son’s popularity rather more yours? I don’t mean that unkindly.

Well, perhaps, but they send their kids to ours.

Probably. People are friendly to me, but I don't think they see me as a friend.

Had two children and now way past those play date years. Both had friends but one was ridiculously popular, they are also like it as an adult. One was quiet and one was very outgoing. No need for rocket science to guess who the popular one is.

Oh dear 😆

Too right

because you’re inviting them 😆

No, please tell me the difference?

Because I'm under the impression that when two children play together outside of school, that's a play date. Regardless of, is it someone's home or at a softly or at a playground.

So what makes it a playdate? I'm confused

Yes I know, I'm just trying to work out why my child is not invited to their house or to any activities with them

I wouldn't rush to reprociate a playground-playdate date. It's isn't the same as a at-home-playdate.

I hate to supervise play dates but we have done our part with three children. We both work. I am not fond of too many play dates to take up free time.
My husband does most of them in our home. MN had learnt me that's very wong.

They’re busy working full time

Their children are happy enough to accept a play date but prefers others over if only able to have the odd play date at their own house

Their child didn’t enjoy the play date at yours and doesn’t want your child over

The parent does t like engaging with you after experience of the first play date

Difficult home life

loads of possible reasons

I have two children, and by the time my youngest was in reception I had plenty of mum friends to hang out with. I only really arranged play dates with people I already knew from my eldest and from nursery. (Sounds harsh, but I was short on time and knackered) It's possible that your child's class there are already some established friendships.

I would say it’s normal not to reciprocate unless the parents are already friends. I only invite kids round when my children ask me to.

Most of my child’s ’play Dates’ are actually adult social catch ups where the children play together.

The park ones aren’t a way to get an adult conversation that would build that parent relationship.

Exactly

sure it’s just a “you around to meet at playground this afternoon?”

Ugh, I totally get how frustrating that must be. It’s so tough when you’re always the one reaching out and not getting anything back. I know the feeling—my kid had the same thing happen for a while. You start to wonder if you're doing something wrong or if they’re just not vibing with the other kids.
Honestly, sometimes it just takes time. Maybe the other parents aren't sure how to approach things or are busy. But, hey, keep putting yourself out there. At least your kid is having fun at the playdates you set up. If anything, they’ll remember you for being the fun parent who always includes others! Plus, one day those invites will come around, I’m sure.

@Spottyshirt you’re being deliberately antagonistic.

OP, I would definitely class meeting at the park as a play date. It doesn’t just have to be going to each other’s houses. And I get how you’re feeling. In my daughter's class play dates were fairly reciprocal and she went on lots. In my son’s class, there are small groups of parents who get along really well and so they tend to just invite each others kids. I’ve invited loads of DS’s friends over but because I’m not a parent in the ‘in crowd’, he never gets invited back. Luckily ds and his friends don’t seem to let this impact their friendship and he’s still included by the kids at school. I just key inviting so ds doesn’t miss out and accept that it probably won’t change.

Me too
If my child went on a play date and then I asked my child if they’d like that child over to ours, and they said no…. I wouldn’t invite them over