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Original poster

Locked chats on WhatsApp - fuck offfff

66 replies

Shera12 · 09/02/2025 17:23

https://faq.whatsapp.com/764072925284841/?cms_platform=web

Worn down by this shit. I’ve recently had my heart smashed up by a cheating spouse. It wrecked everything while he probably laughed about it with his pals. This would have made it so much easier for him, had he known about it. I probably wouldn’t have found out when I did.

I mean I know if someone is going to cheat, then they will do so, and this feature not being available won’t stop them.

But really, do they have to make it so easy for them? Do they have to assist them in the process? I mean what possible other purpose could there be for this? (I’m sure there are some other purposes to be fair, but let’s not pretend it’s not an absolute cheaters charter).

Just making life actively harder (for women in the main, let’s face it).

OP posts:
Moresettingsplease · 09/02/2025 17:32

I lock and mute annoying group chats ( like work ones when I'm on holiday) I can see how it can be used by cheaters though - but we are all entitled to privacy.
Sorry you're having a difficult time

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 17:42

Yeah. I’m probably being unreasonable. It just seems to be so easy these days.

OP posts:
pandapopadance · 09/02/2025 18:07

I hide work chats as they are private and contain sensitive information. If my kids or husband use my phone I don't want them seeing them🤷‍♀️

lnks · 09/02/2025 18:10

We are allowed to have privacy and private conversations that our spouse isn't privy to. Your problem is your spouse, not WhatsApp

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 18:15

Yeah but my (ex) husband wasn’t privy to my WhatsApp conversations because they were on my phone and not his. I never felt the need to hide them away so he didn’t know about them. I can see the work argument but outwith that it seems a bit shady does it not? Like what discussion would I be having that I literally wouldn’t want my husband to know about? Do people really do this?

OP posts:
Moresettingsplease · 09/02/2025 18:18

pandapopadance · 09/02/2025 18:07

I hide work chats as they are private and contain sensitive information. If my kids or husband use my phone I don't want them seeing them🤷‍♀️

Yes agreed. Sorry, @Shera12 I know how distressing infidelity is, but as pp says, it's your ex that's the problem, not WhatsApp privacy settings. Totally understand your need to rant though 💐

SheilaFentiman · 09/02/2025 18:31

Shera12 · 09/02/2025 18:15

Yeah but my (ex) husband wasn’t privy to my WhatsApp conversations because they were on my phone and not his. I never felt the need to hide them away so he didn’t know about them. I can see the work argument but outwith that it seems a bit shady does it not? Like what discussion would I be having that I literally wouldn’t want my husband to know about? Do people really do this?

Edited

I wouldn’t want DH to know if a friend was confiding details in me personally - that’s another example.

ItGhoul · 09/02/2025 18:37

So, because your husband cheated on you, you don’t think anyone else is entitled to privacy?

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through but you’re being ridiculous.

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 18:40

do you not think there is a difference between privacy (eg not having people read your phone), and actively hiding things though?

OP posts:
CandyCane457 · 09/02/2025 18:40

I sometimes like to have a little bitch to my best friend about my in laws, so often lock my chat with her just so boyfriend doesn’t see one of her replies pop up… he knows how I feel about them but I’d rather he didn’t know I talked about them to my friend.

Also a couple of months ago was organising a surprise meal out for his birthday with his friends, so kept that chat locked from him just in case.

Deadbeatex · 09/02/2025 18:54

Hasn't this been around for ages? I've used it for quite a while now simply because my 9yr old DD is a nosey neb and I don't want her seeing adult conversations/pics. I agree it can absolutely be a gift for cheaters but there are other innocent uses for it too

User12435687 · 09/02/2025 19:03

I use mine for work chat so that if I lost my phone and it was unlocked, it would be another protection for sensitive data.

People cheated long before locked WhatsApps, long before phones at all. There could be an apocalypse tomorrow wiping out technology and folk would still mess around where they shouldn't.

Sorry for your pain though, OP. 💔

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 19:10

Thank you.

I’m just so sad and angry. Mainly angry with myself for being so stupid.

OP posts:
LiveintheSlowLane · 09/02/2025 19:19

It's normal to lock work chats, I don't want to see mine when not in work, and I definitely don't want to see them on holiday.

sometimesmovingforwards · 09/02/2025 19:24

lnks · 09/02/2025 18:10

We are allowed to have privacy and private conversations that our spouse isn't privy to. Your problem is your spouse, not WhatsApp

Totally agree.
I was just explaining to a dear friend the other day how bloody annoying my partner was being over a certain thing. I’m happy that’s a private conversation, it’s not there for anyone to see.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 09/02/2025 19:26

There are plenty of reasons why people would want a locked chat that have nothing to with cheating. An important one would be women in abusive relationships trying to plan their exit strategy.

MrsSunshine2b · 09/02/2025 19:41

There are about 20 reasons off the top of my head why someone might want to make sure other people don't read a chat they are having. WhatsApp and privacy settings do not cause cheating.

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 19:43

I never said they did.

OP posts:
andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 09/02/2025 19:45

I think privacy, even in intimate relationships, is important. If a friend wants to confide in me I want them to know that DH doesn't have unfettered access to what they might tell me.

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 19:45

MrsSunshine2b · 09/02/2025 19:41

There are about 20 reasons off the top of my head why someone might want to make sure other people don't read a chat they are having. WhatsApp and privacy settings do not cause cheating.

It's been amazing for locking some chats away where people are getting too much, whereas archived still appears at the top with a '1' when they've messaged... locked means they are fully out of sight out of mind.

andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 09/02/2025 19:45

PS I do understand that you're hurting OP but curtailing other people's rights won't help that.

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 19:47

I’m not trying to curtail anything. I don’t plan on writing to WhatsApp to ask them to remove the feature. I’m just observing how bloody easy it makes things.

OP posts:
andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 09/02/2025 19:48

If people want to cheat then they'll find a way.

Original poster
Shera12 · 09/02/2025 19:49

Yeah. I know. From experience.

OP posts:
LostittoBostik · 09/02/2025 19:49

Shera12 · 09/02/2025 18:15

Yeah but my (ex) husband wasn’t privy to my WhatsApp conversations because they were on my phone and not his. I never felt the need to hide them away so he didn’t know about them. I can see the work argument but outwith that it seems a bit shady does it not? Like what discussion would I be having that I literally wouldn’t want my husband to know about? Do people really do this?

Edited

In my line of work there are things I'm allowed to be privy to that if my husband saw them I could be arrested as he has no right to access of that info

And yes sometimes it's shared on WhatsApp as it's a more secure channel than email.

My DH doesn't go on my phone so I've never felt the need for an extra level of security. But I might if it was offered