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Original poster

How many good friends do you have?

81 replies

Battisborough · 09/02/2025 08:32

By good friends I don’t mean partners or blood relatives. I mean friends you would meet one to one regularly, regularly confined in and be likely to call if something went really wrong?

I think I have four really good friends. I have about another four or five I would meet 1:1 and tell some personal stuff too and who I care about but not that I believe would transcend moving neighbourhoods, or ceasing to work together.

there is than another circle of have a drink or a coffee with and text reasonably regularly but I don’t feel really close to.

OP posts:

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/05/2025 19:53

Two. One we meet up with around 3 times each year. The other, haven’t seen in person for 5 years because of her travels. Still very fond. We text at least 3/4 times every month. I

LindorDoubleChoc · 16/05/2025 20:41

I'd say 6. One lives in Australia but I do count her as a no. 1 best friend even though I only see her about every 5 years.

Tragically and very upsettingly, one of my oldest and closest friends now has EO alzheimers and I wonder how long I still have "with" her iykwim.

Springtime43 · 17/05/2025 08:10

But it can be tricky to create and maintain a wide circle of friends whilst juggling work/family etc, even though I know it’s really important. A recent thread suggested lots of women have ‘surface friends’ which can leave them vulnerable if there’s a divorce or bereavement. And whilst this is in true, there are only so many hours in the day (and I do my best)!

ViciousCurrentBun · 17/05/2025 08:43

@Springtime43 All women have to do is have an equal partnership and also learn to put themselves first sometimes. Obviously being a single parent changes that.

I managed it working FT with a commute of 40 mins each way with 2 children and zero family support as I relocated when young. We also used to do a 400 mile round trip 8 times a year to see parents.

I have a mixture of really good friends and some surface friends. MIL has a friend she has known since primary school and she is 83. Sadly a lot of her good friends have died but she still goes to a few lunches a year with a class of more surface friends.

randoname · 17/05/2025 10:03

Battisborough · 09/02/2025 09:28

I agree it take a lot of time and effort for a good friendship to form. Of my four closest friend two are from primary school so we have been friends for nearly four decades and seen each other through a lot. I lost both parents at a young age and those two friends saw me through it all which really cemented a life long bond. My other two closest friends are mums I made friends with when my first child was born and I but a HUGE amount of effort into making friends when I was on that first maternity leave. With no parents to help and a husband working long hours I found it key to my mental health to be out with other mums doing things every day so I really tried hard to find my tribe. I didn’t class them as really close friends for many years though and only after we had also seen each other through quite a few ups and downs.

Good point about the work.
I find it exasperating on here when people are incredibly stressed about a simple problem, normally logistics that a friend would solve.
I’ve recently moved and finding a village was the first priority.

QueenofallIsee · 17/05/2025 10:42

5 very close female friends, the kind that I send and receive voice notes too and from daily about mundane shit and that I know would be there for me come what may. I am very close to some of my friends husbands too, they are amazing and I know that they would show up for me (and my husband). Wider social circle of friends (18 of us went away from my 40th bday for instance) that we holiday with, go to festivals/concerts and so on. Very active group chats and 1-1 meet ups, mini breaks with a few of the couples but they are not perhaps top of my ‘crisis’ list. There is some overlap in the groups. I feel very lucky, I was quite lonely at one stage of my life and I don’t take any of this forgranted at all.

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