I'm a non-driver, but very used to getting to places by public transport. I often feel a bit uncomfortable when people stop their cars and expect me to get in and take a lift. Do any of you feel the same?

[Winterysun]

I know people mean well, and if it's pouring with rain/I'm running late the offer is much appreciated! But I feel uncomfortable with people suddenly pulling up next to me, loudly beeping and insisting I get in their car, right now! These are all people I know, obviously. 😀

I'm fairly introverted I suppose, so can be lost in my own thoughts when sat at a bus stop with a coffee, doing my easy 15 mins walk to work (this is several times a week so I'm well used to it) and I don't mind the walk.

People seem offended if I refuse, but I felt uncomfortable with this just the other day! I was wandering along, podcast in ear, with plenty of time to get where I was going. Suddenly I heard 'Do you want a lift, we're heading to town too!'
Didn't recognise car, then realised it was ex-neighbour & husband. Said thanks but no, then she insisted again. Problem was, I couldn't find the doorhandle! It was a new car with button on 'hidden' panel if that makes sense. Her husband rolled his eyes, embarrassingly! Then a complicated seatbelt arrangement from ceiling which neighbour had to help me with.

Once in town, as I got out her dh sad 'Oh you managed to figure out the door THIS time then'! I felt embarrassed tbh, would have been easier for me to carry on walking! It wasn't far.

Similar has happened before, ie, I haven't realised a car had stopped/failed to recognise someone's car (I'm not expecting to see them) or looking forward to a quiet bus journey!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but it's easer for me to just carry on! Anyone else feel the same?

I understand, I NEVER accept though and give a cheery “oh no, I need to get my steps in”. I do find a lot of people drive absolutely everywhere and can’t comprehend walking, and therefore are baffled at a refusal

That's what I need to start saying, Moltenpink! Yes, some people look absolutely baffled when i refuse, or say I've already got my bus ticket.

I like bus travel though, and am very used to. 🙂 It's really not the hassle drivers think it is, and if I've got a lot to carry (or it's cold and dark), I'll take a taxi!

If someone's offering, then I turn pretty Very British Problems awkward about it

"Only if I'm not taking you out of your way"

"Are you sure?"

"Only if you're sure"

"You can drop me by the bus stop, that'll be fine"

Then I offer to pay or bring them a gift in the morning- usually a can of defroster

I used to hate this too. It’s nice of people to offer but please take no for an answer and don’t insist on people accepting the lift.

One memorable one I was waiting for the bus and a mum from school pulled up and offered a lift, I said no it’s fine thank you and she just wouldn’t take no for an answer. The bus pulled up and couldn’t get in the stop because her car was there and she still wouldn’t go so in the end I just got in the car so she’d drive off! The whole journey she was saying oh I bet you’re glad you don’t have to wait for the bus now, that will save you the cost of a bus ticket, you’re lucky I came along to save you the bus ride, I always offer lifts if I see someone I know waiting at the bus stop, doesn’t cost me anything if I’m going that way anyway, can’t believe how much a bus fare is... Then a week or so later I had a message from her asking me if I had “that fiver for the lift”. She had honestly never mentioned it and where I’d always offered money for lifts previously I hadn’t that time because of her saying multiple times about how she’d saved me the bus fare. The worst bit was that the bus fare would have been £2.30 and I ended up having to give her £5!

"Feel uncomfortable" seems a bit odd.

People are being kind.
If you ^prefer to walk then simply say "Thanks for stopping, but I actually want to listen to this podcast / get my steps in / call in somewhere on the way" / whatever reason you have for preferring walking.

It's not difficult.
When I was without a car I very much appreciated people stopping to give me a lift. They can't know otherwise if you then get into the car when you don't want to. This is on you for not clearly explaining you'd rather walk and then sticking to it.

This never happens to me!

All of this.
I love walking, people seem baffled

Of all the collective wierdnesses that exist on Mumsnet, the lift weirdness is the weirdest.....

My friend on my hometown insists on picking me up. I make my way to the town centre using public transport and it's a mere 20 minute walk to her house which I'm very used to doing (I live in London) but she goes out of her way, dropping everything, to pick me up. I appreciate her effort, and her heart is in the right place, but I'd rather walk after taking a long trip on the train and bus to stretch my legs! Then despite my protests, she insists on taking me back to the bus station! 😭

I've never driven and manage well with PT, I find it easy to use, but some people don't understand.

Where I live in Ireland everyone drives and think it’s insane that I can’t drive but I really am happy to walk everywhere. Like you I don’t like when offer me lifts.

Yeah I had this with a running group which met five minutes' walk from my house. Another member would always pull up in her 4x4 halfway and insist on doing me this favour. Took me longer to get in the car, put the seatbelt on then get out again than it would just to walk.

It seems I'm not alone in this!
And DefinitelyNotMaybe, as you're a runner I'm sure you're more than capable of a 5 minute walk! It's a shame your friend didn't think the same. x

I hope this doesn’t discourage strangers being spontaneously kind to one another. Soon they’ll be a thread about being offended that a shop assistant smiled at them

Agree @Happyinarcon

Why is it so difficult to say "Thanks, but I prefer to walk" and everyone goes happily on their way.

The problem is when they keep insisting and then look at you strangely for refusing..

Where do you live that you get randoms offering you a lift? I walk everywhere - rarely am I able to get a bus as round here they dont go where I need to go. Never ever does anyone say "hey do you fancy a lift into town?".

Im quite jealous tbh! (although being very British Id most probably say "no thanks Im fine)

I agree OP. It's not the offer that's annoying, it's the insisting.. this applies to any scenario. After you say no, that should be the end of discussion.

I say this too! Plus I talk about whichever audiobook or podcast I'm enjoying whilst walking.

I drive now but when I was younger I lived in a city and it walked to the office everyday - about 20 minutes.

One day I was about 5 minutes away when a colleague pulled up and "insisted" I get in. She then drove me to a car park that was about 5 minutes away. So the last 5 minutes of my walk was in a different direction. Bizarre and she didn't seem to understand that she hadn't saved me time. She was steadfast that it must have been faster as it was in the car.

YANBU. I love walking and would far rather walk or have my thoughts to myself on public transport than be beholden to sit in someone's car making polite conversation. This is London tho so it doesn't really happen. But I'd just go with a cheery "thanks, but I love walking, better get on, see you soon, bye!"

As I said, there are times when it's appreciated, ie, if someone says for instance 'Hey, just realised I'm on the same course as you next week, would you like a lift?' or if it's pouring with rain.

But I, like others have been in the position where someone's not taken No for an answer, then you have 15 mins of them in the car, going on about how they can't imagine relying on public transport, and how much time they've saved you by stopping! Actually, you've missed out on a quiet 20 min bus ride, gazing out of the window not having to be 'On', after a busy day!

There ARE times it's appreciated, but I don't like being put on the spot and someone not accepting a 'No thank you, I'm fine'!

I don't feel uncomfortable, I just say, I'm getting my 10,000 steps in but thanks for the offer.

No-one takes offence.

THIS!

@Winterysun thank you SO much for posting this thread. I have been wanting to post something virtually identical for several months now. Just haven't got round to it.

I have the same odd and baffling 'issue.'

I started walking a lot some 2 years ago after I discovered fitbit, and love the achievement of getting 15 miles a week walking in. Some weeks I get more.. (20 miles some weeks)

In December, I walked to a Christmas Fayre at a place 1.5 miles from me. I got my backpack on - with my water, my phone, my purse, and a couple of bits of fruit to munch on. I was halfway there, and I stopped to have a swig of water, and a woman I had never met stopped her car by me, and said 'are you going to the Christmas Fayre?' I said 'yes.' She said 'hop in, I'm going there!' I said 'oh no it's OK thank you, I am waiting for a friend. I am meeting her here... by this sign here!' (I said this because I know how offended people get when you say no for nothing! And insist you get in!)

So she drove off. A wee while later, I entered the grounds of the place where the fayre was - even though it was still another 7-8 minutes walk, and ANOTHER woman (who I had never met before) stopped and said 'get in, I'll give you a lift to the fayre.' I said 'oh it's OK thanks, I am fine walking.' She said 'oh do get in, I'm going there and it's freezing!' I said 'no thank you! I am OK walking!' She just drove off.

No acknowledgement at all. Clearly pissed off that I had refused her lift. I was looking at a stall when I got there, and this same woman appeared (as I was chatting to the stallholder) and said 'I offered this woman a lift in my car, and she REFUSED!' Looked really irked and annoyed. I was like The stallholder lady said 'maybe this lady likes walking.' 'Hmph' said the woman, 'it's 2 degrees out there, how silly to be walking in this weather!' I am in my late 50s, I don't need to be talked down to by some fucking random like I'm insane, just because I want to walk.

One more... The other week, I was walking from a neighbouring village, and it was a mile back to my village, and a man I have never seen before stopped next to me in his car, and said 'you going up to Upton Lee?' I said 'yes' (obviously, as the road I was on only goes that way!) He said 'hop in, I am going there.' I said 'no thanks I am on a walk, and haven't got my steps in yet. I need another 2000 steps for my daily quota.' And I smiled and said 'thanks anyway!'

Honestly he looked at me like I had shit in his mouth, like >>> Then he drove off. Said nothing, just glared at me!

I was like Like why the FUCK would I get into a car for a lift with a man I have never met or seen before? Why would I even get into a woman's car who I have never met before? They are all strangers. Why would I put myself at risk?

I rarely get people I know asking me, as they know I am a walker. They see me all the time, tootling around, walking up to 20 miles a week around the area/the fields/the pathways and country roads...

But yeah, I feel ya @Winterysun !!! As this poster said, some people can't fathom that other people like to walk. Why be offended though? Weirdos!

Bloody hell! What a nerve!