residential children's home to open in our street

[steppemum]

Got home last night and there is a letter through our door from a neighbour.
Apparently there is a planning application in to change the use of a house to a residential childrens' home. The letter was asking for people to put in ojections to the planning application.

I walked past the house today.
We are a quiet road, dead end, the house in question is large with big garden and another house built at the end of the garden (they built it and sold it off) It is close to neighbours but detached. Has its own large drive for parking. The application is for both the main house and the house in the garden to together become a childrens home.

I can't see what the problem is! I am tempted to put in a comment to the planners to say this is a nice quiet, safe road for a kids home.
I am glad that there will be more facilities as our council has a great deal of trouble finding enough foster homes.
We are detached but very close to neighbours, and we never hear a thing.

Am I being naive?
Is there any reason why this house might cause problems?
Honestly I just think this is NIMBY ism. But is that me being naive?

“I agree with you, but do you honestly think that this is what is actually happening for the vast majority of the children going into residential house”

I’m in Scotland where yes, the vast majority of looked after and accommodated young people are in small settings in the community. A small number are homed in residential schools and a tiny number in secure placement but most are in foster care or small scale residential homes.

Hi all,
wow I wasn't expecting such a response, sorry I was at work, so I have only just seen all the posts.

A few replies.
I love the idea that some people thought I was expecting naice well behaved children to move in.
I am a teacher. I have taught in one of the toughest boroughs in England, where the school regularly had contact with SS for many children in our school.
I currently volunteer to support families, and have accommpanied mums to CP meetings where the professionals are trying to work with her to keep them safe from DV.
I am not naive about societies problems or the needs of the children in care.

Thank you to those who mentioned parking/police visits etc as possible problems that I hadn't thought about.
And I recognise that it will vary enormously depending on the type of home.
There is a residential home I walk past with my dog - physically disabled kids with about 5 bedrooms, and it is fine.

But fundamentally I am pretty saddened by this thread.

The house will not be my direct neighbour, maybe I might feel differently if it was (don't think so though). I just cannot bring myself to complain about kids needing a home. We have a large estate one road over from us, and occasionally we get groups of kids passing down our street and causing trouble (we got egged at Halloween, along with other houses in the street). I know some of those kids as they went to school with mine. I can't bring myself to feel anything but sorry for a kid who I know lives at home with a drug addict Mum, and has lacked basic love and care his whole life.

I will not be protesting the planning.

One really interesting point of irony. One of the direct neighbours of the proposed house (not the one who posted a messgae through our door) is a family where mum and dad are both police. Mum works in Child Protection.
It is possible that they will object due to a conflict of interest etc. But I think probably not. They are nice people.

At the beginning of the thread someone asked where should these kids go?
The reply was - by OP not by me.
Well, they are welcome.

There was a large detached residential home near me, since sold by the council and redeveloped. One of the children was in the same primary school class as my DD2. She and him got on well and as she was a bright child she often helped him with his work. I do still wonder what he's doing now, he'd be 29/30.

I love your thinking on this @steppemum and your update.

We have one down the road from us. I only know this as I was told otherwise I wouldn’t have noticed.

Yeah, doesn’t matter how they word it, we all know what they’re really saying is they should be housed in the poor areas

I got a job working in a group of residential homes for teenagers who couldn't live with family members. On starting I found one of the houses was four doors up from my flat. I'd never noticed it was there. The teens were lovely; kind to one another, slowly healing from difficult childhoods to become brilliant young adults. The proximity came in handy when I moved to my next job further away, as I had a pool of great babysitters and after school pick ups for my seven year old.

I was manager of a residential unit which was in a small housing estate
I will tell you honestly what it was like....... The antics of the teenage youngsters made the lives of local residents a misery
Some were on remand and went on burgling sprees,others were car thrives and joyriders
The emergency services were on speed dial
Those who were there because of family problems learned how to be offenders by the offenders
Staff are not allowed to restrain or even lock the door
If the facility is aimed at younger children then you will all run along nicely but if it's aimed at adolescents then I wish you well

The problem is you won’t know the outcome until it’s being used as a home. It could be perfectly fine or a nightmare. I think the “unknown” is what troubling your neighbours because if it’s a nightmare your house values might come tumbling down?

We have looked at residential school for my DS which would be officially school plus a "children's home". One was part of the school building and much more like you'd think of "boarding school", one was in a house in the same village.

We might still consider the former for 6th form but those saying "send them to boarding school" are a bit misinformed.

Ooh no common as muck me; I make Angela Raynor look like the Duchess of Downtown but I’m happy.
Possibly read the post immediately below yours which is from a poster who actually has experience of working in a home.

i can’t believe some of the comments - it is nimbyism 100%. Yes the young people are going to move in with huge problems, but isn’t that the point. They are going to be provided with a safe house in a nice area - if this isn’t an appropriate area, where is? The streets of Calcutta with other poor people - out of sight out of mind???
it is our collective duty to make a better life for anyone in a vulnerable situation, and the trauma that many of these young people have experienced will make you hang your heads in shame. Without this help, they don’t have a chance.
and yes I speak from experience as I live in a very affluent area on a nice quiet street amd we have a 4 bed children’s home as neighbours. Yes we see and hear things that aren’t nice, but that’s life and you can’t turn a blind eye and pretend we all liive in a middle class bubble with white picket fences - which is actually bloody boring. The young people on our street have been welcomed and encouraged to join in on things such as trick or treating. They are interesting, funny, intelligent but troubled young people who desperately deserve a sense of belonging.
How are you bringing up your own children if you are showing no compassion and believe that other children don’t deserve the same chances in life as yours. And if you think these young people are going to be a bad influence, you need to have a very hard look at yourself because your possibly damaging your own children by your own lack of understanding and empathy.

However lovely lady who asked for advice - you will be fine, your are clearly a great person and you’ll be a great neighbour and friend to whoever moves in including the care workers who need to be given some credit too as the majority I have met are wonderful kind and caring people. 🥰

All children deserve a home but unfortunately not all of them make good neighbours. It’s a fact of life im afraid. We can all appreciate the different factors at play but equally appreciate the POV people who just want to enjoy their homes in peace. It’s hell on earth when your home stops being a sanctuary for you.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

"Blame the ‘parents’ who beat and abused their children leading to so much trauma they require life-long care. Or chose drugs over their children. Or we’re just plain neglectful."

Sometimes parents do all they can but their children still end up in children's homes. It is possible for children to have huge issues no matter how hard the parents try to help them.

@OnlyThickBeans

You do realise that for most of these children home was never a sanctuary for them and was truly hell on earth.

Where exactly do you think these children should go?

I'm a foster carer, have more to do with the police than I would like. I also live opposite a half way house. There have been a few incidents including sadly a suicide but mostly the residents are just trying to get back on their feet.

@ElatedOrGassy i have some vague involvement in the cost of children’s homes and the cost of adapting homes to provide more living accommodation for children who are cared for. The cost is eye watering. It doesn’t seem to add up - totally agree LA’s are exploited. Caring for these kids is the biggest cost for some LA’s and then people wonder why there isn’t money left for anything else.

i didn’t say I have the answers. I just said it’s unfortunate but true that they don’t all make good neighbours.

I work in a residential children’s home, if it is properly managed and staffed it should not be a problem. I work for a company who manage 4 small homes and they are exactly that a home for children who need to be supported, cared for and feel wanted. Our homes are supported living for 16-18 year olds we bridge that gap, we also care for unnacompanied minors who come into the uk by any means possible. People who are so against the way they come into the uk would pretty much change their minds when they hear the harrowing stories. Don’t tar all homes with the same brush

@steppemum I admire your compassion. I've worked in a children's home, as much as I'd like to tell you different, it will make a difference to your lives.
I would keep in mind it will be nothing like Tracey Beaker

It's lovely that there's a large garden for the children

This is not true. Children end up in residential settings because there is a national shortage of foster families or because they need to be in a setting with an onsite therapist or in house education.
The OP is not naive. Obviously these children are unable to live with their families - usually through no fault of their own, so ofcourse they wount be the same as children who live in loving family homes.
Homes like these do not have more than 3 children, so there wount be gangs invading the area.
Having a home in a particular town means at least 1 child is able to live near their school/siblings/family.
They are children not criminals.

Really?? They could also be homes for disabled young people who can no longer be cared for by their parents due to their needs being such that they need 24hr supervision. Highly likely never to leave the home without at least one adult with them but possibly even 2. I work in a special school and we have a number of children being looked after in either a children’s home of several children or some have their own home fully staffed but with no additional young people.

I’d suggest the OP tries to find out what the remit is for the home.

Well then, your home was badly managed, and you accepted unsuitable referrals.

It is not true that you can not lock the front door or restrain a child. I've had to do both in order to keep the young person from harm. If you can justify it you can. I've worked in therapeutic homes and communities long before "therapeutic" became the fashionable label to be misapplied, and although restraint was to be avoided it certainly was used to keep children safe when every attempt at de-escalation was failing.

The council run homes of the past were often much larger, recruitment was less safe and the LAs did not have the same right of refusing referrals, this and other factors made these homes far less safe.