Childcare for DC ages 10-14

[Midlifecareerchange]

Totally clueless about this. I've had family help until now- what do most people do for DC who are tweens/ young teens for those gaps around school. I leave for work at 6 and dh leaves at 7.20 and the DC need to leave at 7.50. They and we aren't comfortable with leaving them to be the last to leave the house (mainly for the younger one) and after school they'll get home around 3.30 and we don't get back till 5-7pm depending on the day/ workload. Trying to find a nanny seems a bit odd at this stage. What's the normal done thing? Most of my kids' friends have at least one parent wfh or working part time so I've not managed to get any real life answers

Coming home - not a problem. We did this from Summer term Y6 when DD was still 10.

I haven't come across any permanent childminder setting for secondary school children and in the vast majority of cases there is absolutely no need for 2 hours in the afternoon.

Mornings - I assume the younger one is still in primary? I would see if you can find a childminder/breakfast club for the last couple of months.

After Summer - is there a way your DH can change his working hours a bit to start 1/2 hour later, at least until there is some routine?
Does the school open early enough for them to be in the library or do they offer a breakfast where they can sit with friends?

I'd have thought breakfast/after school club for the youngest. Secondary age should be fine at home alone for those times, unless they have send.

I think you need to urgently work on your 14 year old's independance if they're not able to lock up a house in the morning and go to school on time. Can the 10 year old go to breakfast club/a childminder?

My 10 year old was fine to be last one out of the house in year 6, and he also came home alone sometimes (other times, after school club). The 14 year old absolutely should do this.

We are both teachers so can't change our hours. Breakfast club is awful and very expensive but yes that is one option for youngest for the rest of Y6.

Breakfast/after school club or childminder for the younger one. The older one is in the house by themselves. Our 11 year old manages this (all be it that his best friend and friend's mum are across the road in an emergency), your 14 year old should be fine.

DD is 10 and does breakfast club. Next year in secondary the library and canteen open before registration so she'll go in earlier than she technically needs to and have breakfast there, then there are clubs running every day that she can signup to if she wants, or we'll probably be ok with her just heading home and hanging out till we're home, it will depend on what she'd prefer to do,

Primary child can go to club for the rest of the year. Secondary should be able to lock up and be home alone for a couple of hours. My 12 year old DC with SEN can do this.

From next year both children should be able to be alone. 14 year old especially should be able to help more. Again my 12 yr old can work microwave, toaster and cook pasta. Knows to lock themselves in the house and can call on nearby family member in emergency.

We have some issues we need to sort in the house like a faulty toaster and a front door that won't shut without a colossal amount of force but those can be fixed. So I'm sensing from the replies that I'm not being unusually neglectful I'm not providing ongoing childcare from Sept

Primary school ages- wraparound care like breakfast clubs and childminders (you just have to pay. We had no family help) from yr 7, they have a key to let themselves in and out.

From year 7 they should be able to manage themselves. For now, I’d put the youngest in a club

Surely breakfast club is peanuts compared to what you paid when the kids were little. I cried with relief when our youngest reached school age and we only paid for wraparound care rather than all day nursery!

You say breakfast club is awful. If there are serious concerns like safety then obviously don't use it and report it. If it's more that it's just not very exciting or the kids watch a bit of telly then I'd suck it up. It's only a short time before the school day starts. Or find a childminder who'll drop at school. It's not for too long as once they're all in secondary school presumably they'll get to and from school independently

Youngest at breakfast club. At secondary school hool age, they have the option of getting themselves out and locking up, or leaving at the same time as the last parent.

What time does their school open? Mine just used to wait until the gates opened, and then waited in the library until their friends arrived.

Youngest is actually incredibly competent and likely to get the sharp knives out and cook herself a three course meal with no problems but I nevertheless worry about what happens if she cuts herself (she never has) or catches fire to a tea towel (I did this recently, she never has) or the toaster malfunctions or if she faints and bangs her head (this has happened twice before- no medical diagnosis followed)

DS will actually leave at 7.15 with dh from sept (I'd forgotten to add this detail) so it's actually the younger and much more competent DC I'm worrying about. DD can't go in early from sept as gates don't open till 8am.

The crucial thing is that Dd has asked not to be left alone in the morning- they are both ok with the afternoon slot really and we have already done that as needed

Can you get to the bottom of DD’s morning fear? If it is the door or the toaster, those can be fixed for the price of a few breakfats club sessions

I never paid anything when kids were little! I've been very lucky having so much family help. It's more that the breakfast is awful and she won't eat it, and there's almost nothing provided for them to do. They just all wander round the playground or the hall looking a bit lost. No Y6s go to breakfast club

If it is something else, perhaps a call to check in with you or DH at 0745 would reassure her to start with.

Can she not just eat breakfast at home and take a book?

She could have breakfast before she goes and sit in the corner with a book?

Or can she leave when DH does and walk via a friend’s house to walk in together?

It's not fear so much as melancholy. She says she doesn't see me enough and feels very sad about it, the idea of no one there in the mornings even for 30 mins makes her feel sad and lonely.

Mine were on their own at that age. They aren’t the most competent children but managed fine.
We had rules like no cooking, don’t let the dog out etc.
otherwise is there a friend’s they could walk to?

I think you've been very lucky so far to get unpaid childcare and perhaps it's made it harder to do what millions of other parents do. Honestly, I would explain kindly that you need to work, you can't change your hours and that she'll be fine at breakfast club. She can eat breakfast at home and take something to get on with at the club. It's not a very long time and imo it's good for children to see that mum and dad have work responsibilities.

Of my 3 kids, two enjoyed wraparound care, the other would have probably preferred to be with me, but she also recognised that dh and I both had work and commutes and she just got on with it. And by year 6 they really can just sit and read/ go on a tablet/ do homework; there's no need to just wander round the playground

Give dd a pack of cards and Uno and tell her to go to breakfast club and teach the younger kids to play.

She will be fine, it’s just the adjustment to new routine that feels uncomfortable.

It sounds like you all have just got used to the very fortunate position of never having used childcare and it will take time to adjust

I don't do this harshly but I have never really indulged this sort of thing from my kids, just always been quite matter of fact about needing to work and therefore use childcare

You are both teachers.
FFS.
😁😁.