Picking a new surname

[CindereIIa]

A very good friend of mine is exiting a marriage, doesn't want her married surname any more, and doesn't wish to go back to her maidenname (toxic birth family), so we are talking about her choosing a nice new surname.

What would you pick, if you could pick a new surname for yourself? Ideas welcome, thanks!

Dh and I both changed our surnames to a brand new one upon marriage. Make sure she pretend tests it out lots, imagine spelling it out to people on the phone, calling herself by the new full name etc just to see how it “fits” and the ease of it.

Fair enough, but I think you are overlooking the huge discounts and potential for freebies.

Starling would be nice.

Or one of those really literal old English names like Drinkwater.

This will be something I need to do after divorce and I'm struggling with it. Both married and maiden name have needed to be spelt out and I'm sick of it. Looking at my maternal family tree the only one that won't need spelling out is Jones but my first also begins with a J 😬

Based on my experience (and more call centres being abroad) I would say Phoenix and Wren are setting your friend up to fail if she doesn't want to do that, but they are both lovely names.

It is very difficult though. Green could be Greene, Brown could be Browne, Smith is Smythe etc.

I also love Middlemarch, Eliot, and Carrington.

But I think Starling would be my first choice.

I think to first consider if you want to keep the same initial, if you choose a new surname because of what it means, how it sounds or what the associations are.

Armstrong?

This has brought back a funny memory!

When I divorced XH#1, I wanted to change my surname. I went to my parents, sat down with the phone book (remember those?!), borrowed a sewing pin, opened a random page with my eyes shut and stuck the pin in. Ta daaaa! That was my new surname!

If I were doing this I would:

• look back through my family tree on Ancestry and choose the surname I liked best
• have a think about what word I think best sums me up (or what word I would like to sum me up) and see if there's a name that means that
• use the name of my favourite tree or river
• use the surname of one of my favourite literary characters or musicians
• just pick one which sounds nice (I like Quinn)

Henderson

Just looked at my bookcase for inspiration and came up with Fortune, Glass, Rice, Kelly and Tiffany. I think a first-name-as-surname could work really well.

I had a teacher called Mr Makepeace which I thought was lovely.

Went to school with a Diamond and Sparkle as well!

People complement me on my fruit related name but don’t want to put myself haha

Errr noooo not for me,

I have Smith, Jones, Brown and Williams there...... pretty unoriginal.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the brickbats....

My friend chose Pembroke as she likes the town, another chose Shanklin as she holidayed there as a teenager with friends

Does your friend have a favourite bird, or tree, or beach or colour or passion of any kind...
Eagle
Magpie
Scarborough
Oakton
Swan
Bronte
Maple
Honey
Chocolate

For traditional names, how about these?

Quinn
Dale
Scott
Spencer
Hope
Blake
Tanner
Carter
Nightingale
Bright
Rose
Lovelace
Knight
Montgomery
Lavender
Taylor
Avery
Delaney
Russell

I have the surname Sweet in my family tree. But might be a bit twee.

Judy's real surname was Gumm, she was Frances Ethel Gumm. Garland is lovely though.
I've always liked the name Cavendish (maybe because I associate it with becoming the Duchess of Devonshire) 😊

I like Winter , Summer , Fellows , Murray , Loveday , Farraday .

How about her favourite teacher from school or an author she likes ?

In her situation, I would go with something that symbolised a new start
Phoenix (but spelling might be tricky)
Strong
Bright
Joy
Hope
Dance
Spring
Bloom
Light
Ember
Fire
Skipper
Walker
Gold
Proudfoot

I'd probably avoid unique celebrity names like Bader Ginsberg, because people would inevitably ask about the origins of your name.

I know a couple who took the name Sylvan - they're woodland workers, but it's equally good for someone with a love of nature while still sounding like a 'normal' surname.
I also know someone with the surname Willow, which again is conventional enough but nature related (it may be their birth surname, I don't know either way)

I have a client named Power and they love the strength is gives them.

Rainbird
Fairchild
Rainbow
Kingfisher

Id not picking anything with a family link, I'd either pick the same as a character from literature that I relate to or else nature or place names.

Thomas Hardy did beautiful names.

In fact, Hardy is pretty nice.

My list...

Hardy
Oak
Embleton
Kelvin
North
Bramber

I actually love Starling. It's lovely! Starling, Sterling, both of those. Maybe Starling-Sterling!

Oh actually not Bramber. There was a murderer called that I think.

How about Goode? That's nice.