Air travel with SEN child - recommendations

[Puttingoutfireswithgasoline]

Does anyone have experience of flying with children with additional needs? Any recommendations for short flight holiday destinations?
DS is none verbal, really not keen on people and waiting anywhere is a fairly difficult challenge. Sensory needs too… Just to give an idea of need he learns in a specialist setting and always has 121.
I am thinking it’s probably not a good idea but wondered if anyone might have recommendations, ideas or experiences they could share.

Just to say we always ask to board last, otherwise by the time everyone else has boarded DS is bored and ready to get off! It’ll depend on what your child struggles with the most.

Same here. I dread the thought of getting on first and adding an extra 25 minutes to him having to sit down, especially if he sees others standing and walking down the aisle.

I think either first or last would work for us tbh. We just need to not queue, because that’s DS’ trigger. We also tend to have a lot of hand luggage to accommodate DS’ sensory needs so plenty of locker space also helps!

I think it's a crazy idea. It is a disaster waiting to happen.

Forgot to add that we flew to Nantes and explored Bretagne (which was gorgeous) knowing that we could - at a push - drive back if things got tricky. It was great - a small, quiet airport without too many crowds and which was also accommodating of DS’ needs. The official flight time was 1:30 but we were barely in the air for an hour. It was actually easier for DS than our “test” flight to Dublin which was shorter but bumpy.

The trouble with the Channel Islands is that they tend to be propellor planes which are quite “raw” compared to passenger jets. I’d go for a slightly longer, smoother flight although ofc all SEN children are different.

My son is similar but we have flown with him annually from age 3 to 14. I find airports in the UK are really good now at supporting children with special needs. Pick up a sunflower lanyard and all the staff are trained to recognise and support and you can get fast tracked through security. Some (Gatwick) even have special sensory rooms you can use.

We generally manage a 4 hour flight as long a we take plenty of snacks and have a couple of charged ipads for him to look at linked to his bluetooth headphones.

Jersey has some lovely small beaches such as Ouaisne or Greve de Lecq. Also a zoo, walks etc.

The airport also has some quieter waiting areas.

EasyJet are brilliant with catering for disabilities. Free priority boarding, seat selection and the staff are lovely.
Choose seats at the front of the plane.
Majorca is probably the best option but prepare yourself for the journey home as Palma Airport can involve lots of walking.
Take a bag onboard of all your child’s favourite things, you’ll be fine.

Ignore all those saying not to do it.

We’ve flown quite a bit with our DD who is also NV autistic (5yo). It’s a bit touch and go - she tends to be ok during the flight itself if she has enough spinners but the waiting is really hard and if a meltdown sets in, there’s little we can do. Now she’s bigger it’s also getting much harder for toileting in the plane itself (she’s still in nappies). But like you, want to balance the rest of the family and not always split in 2. Jury is a bit out if we do want to keep holidaying as a family though.. I think we will use this summer as a test case.

thinking about destinations from where you are. We live in NL but my family is in UK, so we quite often do that flight (to Newc which is a small airport). Not sure if your DC likes beaches but there’s plenty here and I guess a bit quieter than more popular destinations. For DD she gets a lot of regulation / enjoyment from being out and about in the cargo bike. This is sometimes just A to B for transport but on summer days we have longer days out in the dunes. Visitors / tourists can hire them too.

good luck with your planning, it’s hard isn’t it.

Thanks everyone.
I really appreciate the support and info.
I was feeling guilt when the first response was ‘is it a necessity’.

I hate the idea that autistic children and their families should only do what is ‘necessary’, to avoid inconveniencing other people.
My DS adores being on holiday. He has family abroad who he wouldn’t see if we didn’t fly. Splashing in the warm sea is his ‘happy place’. The travel to and from the destination is a very small part of the experience, and we take all precautions to make it easier for him and everyone else.

I've taken the ferry to Spain a few times and there's always a good number of families with disabled members especially children. It's a 24 hour ferry crossing but if you a n coast resort like Gijon or San Sebastián it's a shortish drive the other end. Many of the families had dc that needed extensive medical equipment and adapted vehicles too.

If you don't fancy such a long ferry, how about Normandy in France, shorter journey time.

Flying is stressful, by dc with autism coped ok but she flew regularly from newborn because I lived overseas, I also booked a window seat and strapped her car seat in which was ok back then, she was fine watching the map for 10 hours

Exactly. I’ll limit the noise to the best of my capabilities for the benefit of other passengers, but any looks or comments and they’ll be having that same energy back.

As for accommodation, my dc loved hotels, particularly the en-suite bathroom, go figure (we didn't have one at home) but I never booked "holiday" locations as they are busy, I chose to take road trips to interesting places. She's an adult now and verbal from 4, loves castles and cathedrals still! The trick is to find hotels that principally are business ones so the pool is quiet and breakfast is quiet by 8.30/9am when we went down

If he's going to struggle so much I wonder if it would be better all round to see if you can get some respite care for him so that the rest of you can go away? It sounds like it would be really distressing to him which would outdo any good the trip did. DS2 has AuDHD and we went away for the first time last year. He coped with the flight ok but not so much the holiday and was very disregulated when he came back. I'm still undecided about whether to even attempt it again.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered thank you.
I don’t think he would manage respite and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that at his age to be honest either.
Maybe one to consider for the future.

@Puttingoutfireswithgasoline Another thing to consider is that the smaller planes for domestic flights are often turboprop driven and don't have jet engines, and they are very noisy.

We flew from Manchester to Guernsy with Air Aurigny who only have turboprops in their fleet and I couldn't get over how loud it was.

You might like to check what type of plane flies to your destination.

If he's going to struggle so much I wonder if it would be better all round to see if you can get some respite care for him so that the rest of you can go away?

Oh you sweet Summer child! 😂

Please ignore that person. Their whole comment stank of ableism and ignorance.

Your family deserves a holiday just as much as everyone else. You do not owe everyone on the plane silence and perfect behaviour. We are all part of society and we all need to rub along together. That includes babies, toddlers and disabled folk, all of whom can sometimes create noise and distraction. If people want to be shielded from the presence of others in society, they need to charter their own private jet and then they can decide who flies on it.

We flew with autistic DS to Majorca because it's a fairly short flight and we know it very well from pre-kids. The flight was not easy, lots of passing him back and to between us because he just wanted to run around, LOTS of snacks, lots of iPad games and shows, stickers, colouring, puzzles. At the time he could only really focus on a task for 30-90 seconds so you can imagine what it was like cycling between all those activities in a confined space 😅

It was really difficult. He didn't find it distressing but he was frustrated by all the restrictions (he doesn't have cognitive capacity to understand). BUT I was so glad we went. We stayed in a little apartment with a shared pool and it was carefully chosen to suit his needs. He loved the holiday and it was great for other DC to also have a normal family experience.

Obviously every NV child with ASD is different, but you said your son has good receptive language. So social
stories that I write myself, using as little detail as possible, work
well for us. We also get DS involved in booking the seats on the aeroplane so that he retains some control over where he sits.

Like another poster said, as generic as possible! The Topsy and Tim book about going on holiday wouldn’t have worked for us in case there were steps to the plane instead of a tunnel, for example. Topsy and Tim sit in together in front of mum and dad, which would t happen with us.

Short flight time works better. The Balearics offer a similar type holiday to Greece or the Canaries, but are two hours closer.

A self catering villa with a pool generally works better for us than a hotel as it gives more space, privacy, more control over layout, food is easier etc.

Pay for extra luggage and weight allowance so that you can take as many things that he’s familiar with as possible.

You’ve had some really good advice on this thread though. I went through a time where I wondered if (having always flown a couple of times a year with DS - learning disability, ASD ++) whether we should forever holiday in the UK. He gets travel sick on planes. But we’ve learnt how to manage, he loves it when we’re there, we have other children who enjoy the holiday too etc.

We’ve also driven to France, and that works well as we can just load up the boot with loads of toys and not worry about the weight.

Easyjet are great. Sweden is amazing for not staring,being very sen aware.

We took my ASD son to fuertaventura last year. You can request special assistance and to visit the airport/look inside a plane on a date before you fly.

As anyone whose used to public transport (including planes) the most annoying passengers are not crying babies, or disabled children (or adults).
Its groups of drunk adults who should know how to behave!

As long you aren't blaring out Peppa Pig on top volume on the tablet, no one will actually pay that much attention to you.

I cant add to any practical advice. But good luck.

I usually use Jet2 for holidays with my two, both of whom have complex needs. Their special assistance is brilliant - they prioritise you for checking baggage and security, and will give you an escort to the gate. You can also choose when to board, my DS finds it much easier to be boarded and settled first but other children may prefer to board last.

Manchester Airport have a couple of sunflower lounges/rooms that are sound proofed with lower lighting. Their security staff were amazing when DD, who doesn’t tolerate touch well, was selected for a random pat down. They worked with me to keep her calm, explained what they needed to do, demonstrated on me and in the end did a swab test instead of a pat down.

I find Greek airports really good on the way back too.

FWIW Ryanair, Easyjet and BA are all jet.