Air travel with SEN child - recommendations

[Puttingoutfireswithgasoline]

Does anyone have experience of flying with children with additional needs? Any recommendations for short flight holiday destinations?
DS is none verbal, really not keen on people and waiting anywhere is a fairly difficult challenge. Sensory needs too… Just to give an idea of need he learns in a specialist setting and always has 121.
I am thinking it’s probably not a good idea but wondered if anyone might have recommendations, ideas or experiences they could share.

I think this will be very much a ‘it depends on the child’ thing because I can’t think of anything worse than a cruise with my autistic child and I think he’d hate it too!

What about a ferry with a cabin to get to Europe? From either Newcastle or hull if up north? You travel overnight so hopefully he’d sleep at least some of the way.

OP do you have a car. A friend who has a child with SEN used to car ferry places as then he was in his own space ie car for the wait and then book a cabin so again he could be in his own space. Just an idea.

Have you travelled by train with him?
doing that would give you confidence that he could manage with the journey time and containment? Maybe you’d build up length of journey by train? Then add Eurostar which has the checkin element that airlines use.
but still has more space and ability to move about.
ferries might also be easier.

Have you considered Jersey? 1 hr flight from England. Lovely family holiday destination. I stayed in hotel so don't know self catering availability.
If flying is insurmountable you can also travel there by boat

I have done short and long haul with a SEN child who had trouble waiting around. They just had to wait around. It's all part of the package. I let them watch out the window at the gate and watch the planes coming and going, walked with them, supported them to communicate with staff, made sure I booked seats ahead so I could be next to them. This might not work for some children but we managed.

I took my 9 year old non-verbal son to Spain last November. I bought the row of seats so he could sit between me and his dad, downloaded some things he likes and bought him some headphones. I boarded last so he wouldn’t be sitting on the plane for longer than necessary.
I made sure to pack the things he liked to eat and he was very good.
That was a 2.5 hour flight though, I wouldn’t have liked to try another hour or two.

East Midlands airport are great with SEN. You register with the airline when you hook that you need assistance they give you a pass and you go through fast track security. If a large family they may or may not let whole family through on way out but do fast rack on way back. You can ask for an escort I think but we tend to go through ourselves.
DS struggles with tannoys but he has ear defenders and iPad etc and can manage. He is fine on the plane itself generally but I appreciate it may be very different for you.
Eurostar might be easier as you can get up and walk about and there is space to stand by the buffet but if you want to.

My son has ADHD and Autism and we've flown an awful lot (me on my own with him and his brothers).

We've always had special assistance, which has made the security waiting times better; but he has managed ok. Be warned special assistance in some countries means a wheelchair - my son couldn't understand why he had to sit in a wheelchair haha.

He is a bit of a worrier and always panics, but he has coped very well with the change in routine and the flying, and the airlines have always been good with him (one could see he was starting to panic so asked him if he wanted to help collect the rubbish down the aisle with them to keep him busy).

Trial a shorter flight first and see how you get on ☺️

Cruise wouldn’t be for us. Contained space for a really long time. Also he has no danger sense so I would be a nervous wreck about being on a boat. We’re always right next to him but it would send my anxiety into over drive!

Thanks so much everyone, some great tips.

I’m having a look at Jersey and Paris. Paris has some good resorts with lots in, so other DCs and a parent could go places and me or DH could play and swim with DS at the place. Flights not too long either!

Definitely find out if the airport/airline offers special assistance OP. If they don't, I would book Fast Track for your family (it's an extra fee, but it's not huge - about £7pp usually), ear defenders, sunflower lanyard and I'd find out in advance if there are quieter areas where you can wait. The main concourse can be extremely busy and noisy at peak times, which basically includes most of the school holidays.

Trains haven’t gone well before but it’s more he stims very loudly and disturbs other people. Lots of staring.

And do contact your airport beforehand, especially if it's a smaller one, we were due to travel from Cardiff and they arranged a familiarisation tour for us. We couldn't go through security but could see everything else. Heathrow have videos online explaining the whole process of travelling through the airport, I expect the other big airports do too.

Good luck!

I have a 14 year old with autism and adhd and tourettes - combined with a fear of flying.

he is verbal however and is now old enough to reason with.

However when he was younger I did the following;

• wear the sunflower lanyard and always go to the accessibility desk and explain we might need extra support and help. I have always been met with support and help by staff
• Go on very short flights that we could travel back via a non-slight route if the worst came to it- so we went to Jersey (direct flight from Southampton- and a boat trip back if need be) and Paris - short flight and eurostar back if need be
• ear defenders
• When young i would wrap up special interest items (new ones) in gift wrap and bring one out at strategic intervals
• earplanes - a must IMO. Ds has sensory issues and ear pain on flights was a very very severe issue causing meltdowns. Earplanes where a gamechanger. (see link below) You can get child ones
• Stay calm calm calm. They will take a cue from you and if you are visibly stressed then it will not help

https://www.boots.com/earplanes-plus-adult-earplug-1-pair-10320845?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA74G9BhAEEiwA8kNfpZRNCtHbe2EgTyjnDXzAHPiG3a4Q2obXC6XsMFMW6jcKy6Mrcrs58hoCgIEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Not going to lie- we had some seriously bad flights. But things got better and he's now very good and we are off long-haul this summer.

Very best of luck.

I might be wrong, but I think sunflowers originated in airports initially. I think it was Gatwick that first introduced them.

I'm in a similar boat OP.

We usually go to Butlins but this year are going to Eurocamp (Duinrell) in The Neatherlands. We are flying Liverpool- Amsterdam. It's only a 40 minute flight.

Eurotunnel? You sit in your car for the whole journey. It's 20 odd minutes underground if I remember

The sunflowers have helped us. Last time we went away (Greece) we were in a long long queue at boarding and a staff member very quietly clocked it, drew us out of the line and put us through the first class line (not a first class seat sadly!!).

In terms of stimming, and people's reactions, it has been mixed. Most often fellow travellers seem to 'get' that there is an issue and politely ignore us. But on one occasion I had a woman glare and glare and tut tut and then just hissed at me. A proper hiss! So I politely asked her to mind her own business. But thinking about it- that was a single time only and we now fly around 3 times a year.

I know mine is older now but we did go about building things up over time- a long time. It was a concerted plan. I love to travel, I want him to experience all the world has to offer - and his grandparents live in Australia and are too ill to travel here so needs must, sadly.

I will add though- when you do arrive at your destination, be prepared to have all your expectations dashed. One of the trips we did to Jersey he was so overwhelmed we could not go out of the hotel. So DH and I alternated trips out with his younger brother. It was really disappointing, but we had to go at his pace. He's a keen traveller now. Adores Paris. But we know that we see things in the morning and then the afternoon is spent in the hotel. It's the only way he can cope.

Agree that it's a lot about staying calm yourself,that's why I like to go somewhere I've been to before feels much easier to manage them if I know exactly what the craic is.totally don't let the worry get to you if they are stimming loudly (or rolling around the floor in my case) don't worry about it,let them do what they need to and don't worry about other passengers they will understand,thats why I love the sunflowers let's people understand immediately.just know it's very normal in an airport and not to let it stress you.

Hello
i I have an ASD/adhd child - he is verbal but travel can be challenging… but we do it anyway within our own limitations
Here is what helps:

• call the airline in advance and book special assistance. Ryanair are useless and just get you physical assistance to get on the plane (me and the guy had a right laugh about that as my son ran laps of the gate area…). Some airlines eg BA let you book seats together for free. They’ll also let you get on first if you want.
• special assistance available in most airports (like those little car thing) and sunflower lanyard in the UK. That is helpful as most staff will redirect us to the shortest queue - sometimes the special assistance queue can be long because it takes a while for families with buggies/wheelchairs etc. we need speed!
• I give my son one of his sensory toys to flap - by the time he’s going that and started to make noise the staff will be helpful
• nightmare is passport and other queues in EU airports as UK can no longer whizz through. Sunflower lanyard not usually understood. See above re making the disability obvious, ask staff or just march to the EU citizens/priority queue. I find it helpful to memorise the local lingo for my son is autistic he cannot queue…
• always take any help offered as it stops all the spoons being used up too early
• best ever airport experience was easyJet and Faro, Portugal. We had booked assistance - the check in guy took one look at us and asked if we’d like escorting to the gate. They had a separate bag scan and took us to the front of the passport queue then got the disabled lift lorry to the plane.
• be prepared for meltdowns when you get there. My son usually has one due to all the new ness and change even if he is loving it.
• if your son is on any medication (we have adhd meds) time the flight so they’ll be in the system.
• do whatever you can to make the holiday easier for you all.

I think some of the airports offer a tour for such kids where you can go and be shown round and they tell you everything that will happen on the day of your flight.

I have taken my autistic pda child abroad since he was 2 - first time on my own but the rest with another adult as it became more challenging.

Special assistance is great and means you are often taken to a quieter waiting area, you skip the queues for luggage etc and you can either be first on or last on (we opted for last on, so he didn't have a meltdown whilst others needed to board)

We try going for the earliest flight outbound so that he is still half asleep for the car journey etc and then late for the return for melatonin.

Ear defenders, iPad with downloaded videos, lots of safe snacks, fidget toys, stickers etc are great.

We also ensure that we are close to our destination from the airport and instead of using a coach, we opt for private transfer.

You can also use a pushchair right up until boarding or alternatively a wheelchair.

Many plane lines are very very accommodating and the sunflower lanyard is recognised mostly everywhere.

Second the advice about wrapping gifts related to special interests. We also let DS carry a rucksack full of his fav snacks to eat when he wants - the dizzying luxury of that has got us through plenty of flights. Sunflower lanyard, Nimbus card if you have one, loaded IPad, ear defenders, make sure you use accessibility staff and always board first so you can get settled before the hordes descend.

One word of warning about social stories etc. One year I did a countdown calendar and a full social story next to his bed with all the travel steps, there and back, including a picture of our (Tui) plane printed off the internet. While on the holiday, Thomas Cook went bump and Tui hired a massive unbranded plane to get the extra stranded passengers home. DS saw the “wrong” plane and had the meltdown of his life. It took 3 of us to get him in the plane (and he was only 3 or 4 at the time). Then we had 4 hours of non-stop screaming, headbutting, flinging stuff, stimming, all while he yelled “wwwrrrrrrwrong plaaaaannnnnneee muuuuummmmmyyyyyyy” at full volume. Generic transport all the way now. 👍🏻

Oh just seen another comment about their child not being able to leave accommodated. We've had this, so we go at his pace. We went to Egypt December 23 and it was hard. He didn't leave the room.

When we went to Spain before that, we had a room right by the pools, so he could access that.

I always make sure we are now by a pool and beach on site and all inclusive as they are good at just the basic food.

Also, I highly recommend a ferry to the isle of wight! We go every year and it's the only place he can really cope with.

@Vinvertebrate that’s really helpful, thank you.
We had similar with school transport once.