Damp Feb! For DJ survivors and Feb drink moderation fans!

[Fordian]

Hi Everyone who might be interested, a thread for anyone who wants an accountability check-in for their moderate Feb drinking!

Another one fallen off the wagon. 2 shitty days at work and back into old ways. Grrrr

Sending positive vibes @Hedjwitch Be kind to yourself and start again - none of its for nothing, you’ve still saved a ton of units so far this year and will do going forwards too!

Think of it that you’ve pinpointed some triggers perhaps?

Another fall off the wagon, again crappy day at work and the long, cold boring evenings. 2 glasses of rose, I'm just thinking that it's a positive I didn't drink the whole bottle.

I broke my DJ on Friday and did drink over the weekend but less than 'normal'. However I'm a bit annoyed that my tolerance seems completely unaffected by a month off the sauce! I think I was secretly hoping that DJ would turn me into a lightweight who would get as much joy from 2 glasses as I used to get from a bottle! Not the right attitude around it at all, of course...

I was really tempted to have wine last night as my oldest child had significant and complex support needs and has been phenomenally failed by the secondary school he was placed in.

He went through a specialist admission process to guarantee support and has had virtually none for months. The school are now wondering why he is struggling and blaming him despite knowing all his conditions and support needs months before he starred🙈.

I am livid as he no longer wants to go to school. I sent formal complaint emails were last night to all the senior council education officials involved in the admission process for the school and a complaint to the school. I was desperate for a glass of red wine as I was stressed but stopped myself because I can't allow alcohol to be a coping mechanism.

Anyway I gave barely slept between being stressed, angry and my asthma playing up so I think the school will seem a rather grumpy side of me the havent seen before today.

@Fundays12 sorry to hear what you are going through. That must be really frustrating. Well done for not turning to alcohol when stressed and angry as it would probably only emphasise that. That has taken a lot of strength. At least now you can face today without a hangover on top of everything else too.

I had a drink again on Monday (in my working week that's like my Saturday evening) and I can't cut down my tolerance is the same so when I drink it's an unhealthy binge. I can manage that by reducing the days though and I have stuck to that but not as infrequent as I thought. I think to keep healthy in the future I'm going to have to have some months where I completely abstain throughout the year not just dry January.

I'm annoyed because I'm not getting the accumulative build up of health benefits from completely abstaining and feel like I'm starting from scratch again every week which is starting to do my head in. Psychologically I find it easier to manage just abstaining then there's none of the inner interplay, should I shouldn't I? Feeling guilty, etc

Maybe I could phase it out this way...next abstinence phase 2 months dry...one month on...next abstinence phase 3 months dry...one month on, etc

Eventually I just want to limit drinking to special occasions, nights out, holidays etc not just a weekly thing I do at home..it's just hard breaking the habit and sticking to it..not going to be a quick fix complete DJ and that's it life changed forever. I need a more long term approach.

@Sammy900 you are going through the same loop in your head as I am. I don’t know if that helps or not! 😬

in my world, abstinence is easier than limitation / my own self imposed rules (which I subsequently break)

That sounds really difficult @Fundays12 , I hope you get some kind of helpful response to your complaints.

I stayed dry as planned yesterday. I was ridiculously tired last night so went to bed early. I did wake a few times in the night but overall had a good sleep, and no grogginess this morning.

So sorry to read about your DS and his school @Fundays12. You're quite right that a glass of wine wouldn't have changed the situation in any way or even made it easier for you to get on the case with all the emails etc, but I admire you very much for not caving.

So my plan after DJ was to not drink on more than 50% of the days in any given month for the rest of 2025. Ie have more dry days than drinking days. Well, guess what? I've had wine every single day of February so far and so now I'm going to have to be dry until the end of the month! But that's fine, I'm very much an all or nothing type. Just putting it here as a firm commitment. I've got one days leeway for an evening out that may or may not happen between now and the end of the month.

I swapped out my Thursday drinking and had drinks on Tuesday. (Trying to limit to two nights a week, one of which is Saturday). Now it’s Thursday I can feel the need for the Thursday night routine kicking in. I’m determined not to tho x

Splitting headache this morning after drinking last night,so AF tonight. There seems to be no middle ground.

Really wanted a brandy tonight as it was freezing in the office but managed to make do with a Trip CBD drink. Like many am finding this month tougher.

@Eatinpeachesonthebeaches , if you like a warming spirit, have you tried Kahol? They do a range of whiskey alternatives which are lovely, and go well with soda or the Trip Peach & Ginger (IMO), or just with ice.

A wine night tonight, and so much nicer than the last one 😊 - a 250ml glass of a really nice Sauvignon Blanc that I would normally deem too expensive, but really the cheaper ones aren't saving me money if I'm not enjoying them. Less is definitely more, if it's a decent wine, I think.

Seeing a friend tomorrow evening. She loves red wine so I will take her a nice bottle, but she is very relaxed about me not drinking, so I will stay dry as I want to walk home and like to have my wits about me.

Had my first glass of red wine last night (over a family dinner) after my extended DJ, I managed 45 days dry. It was very nice, I got a warm feeling of relaxation & all good. I did get the voice in my head though saying, go on there’s a bottle of wine at home, you can have a few more tonight. That is what I would usually have done and then probably finished the bottle. Somehow I managed to ignore this and stick to the one glass in the restaurant. I think its because I believe in myself now, I know that I can just wait for the voice to stop, and it will do because I managed to do that for 45 days. This is entirely new for me.

This morning I have an early start and I feel a bit more fuzzy-headed than I would like. I’m going to try another stint of not drinking I think and see how that goes. Agree with everyone else that this month is tough, looking forward to spring and going for nice walks in the evenings!

So good to read everyone’s posts and what is working/ not working. Hang in there!

I have been dry since Saturday but am off out for a fancy meal tonight - one that matches a different wine to every course and there are usually about 6 courses! I do wonder how big they will be -75ml, 125ml? And I wonder if it would be weird to ask the waiter!

Slept well and woke up feeling good, so for me there doesn't seem to be a difference in terms of sleep quality between AF / drinking days as long as I stick to my limit. There's the odd morning when I feel sluggish, or occasionally wake at night, which may be related to how late I've eaten, or possibly stress.

That's all good of course, as it means that moderation works for me. But I need to beware of the seductive voice that says I can drink every day, or have a bit more than usual, as I don't want to do that. I think the dry nights make the drinking nights more of a pleasure in many ways.

@Addictforanex , I don't think the waiter will think it's odd to ask about the size of the glasses at all. If anyone around the table makes a comment, then that's more about them than you.

I’m failing. Still having three days off a week in February but of the eight days that I have drunk, I’ve had two days where I’ve had very bad hangovers (today being one of them). Feel so annoyed with myself.

Also jumping over from the dry January thread if I may? @Sammy900 my thoughts too. I want to be an occasional drinker only...but February is getting sloshy rather than damp, so I need accountability.
Aims-
1.to be a non drinker from choice and lack of desire.

1. IF not, then to drink only on certain occasions

3.if not, to only drink at weekends and keep to under 14 units.

Reality - all my units consumed before Friday.
Both weeks. 2 dry days each week.

Drinking tea and trying to not drink tonight and Saturday. I NEED TO KNOW I CAN DO THIS.

It is annoying isn’t it? I so enjoyed my hangover-free weekends in Jan, then the first weekend in feb was definitely fuzzy around the edge 😞 why do we do things we KNOW are bad for us??

i’m not at home this weekend so am trying even more to moderate (it’s a work thing and I don’t want my colleagues to know my tolerance levels/ how much I usually (or used to??) drink). But slept poorly despite only a 1/3 of a bottle of wine. Maybe it’s the strange situation or maybe it was the wine…

I know its different for everyone @newme2025 and you need to find what works for you - but what is helping me is to focus on why I am drinking more than I want to rather than setting rules that I have to follow (and will inevitably break).

Once I identified that it was to get drunk and be able to temporarily avoid painful thoughts about myself, I realised that the hurt feelings didn’t go away, they came back worse the next day and then I would beat myself up about my lack of will-power plus I would have a terrible hangover!

Again not meaning to preach, but maybe if you can catch the thought that you want to drink just before you pour the glass and ask yourself - why? do I need this? will it help? am I avoiding something? - you might be more able to make a more concious choice to drink or not. And then focus on what is underlying the desire to drink, and try to resolve that instead.

Good luck with whatever helps 😀

So I did ask the waiter - he said that for 6 courses there were 5 glasses of wine that came to about 2/3rds of a bottle. He free poured. That’s fine I thought.

My DP said “oh wow that’s really generous” and then after the waiter left he said - so that’s 250ml glasses. Eh!? … He thought the waiter meant 2/3rds of a bottle between us for each course, 5 times over. 😀

Except we did have 2 drinks before dinner - so yet another night where I came close to 10units. It was a lovely evening so no regrets. A bit sluggish this morning and have demolished a bacon roll. Aiming to stay dry tonight.

Hi all! Been busy! Have been mostly dry - according to try dry my average is 4.5 units a week which I think is absolutely spot on and moderation was always my goal and it's really nice being able to have a couple of drinks for special occasions (had a few glasses of Prosecco last night with a nice meal, for example) and then just stop. I feel like I've had a brain reset. Really chuffed!

Thanks for all the supportive replies I received the other day. I am only just managing to get back on to read everything as it's been a very difficult and busy week.

DS situation in school deteriorated massively on Thursday after a year head behaved appalling to him. Anyway a formal investigation is being undertaken by the council because of the behaviour he was subjected to and he is being moved immediately by the education and ASN teams to another secondary school with a far better ASN base that actually does have the capability, staff and facilities to support him.

I really wanted copious amounts of red wine on Thursday night but thankfully we didn't have any so I opted for a gin and diet lemonade then had an AF gin and diet lemonade which I enjoyed just as much. I needed a clear head for Friday morning as I knew I was being called by the ASN council team (the lady was so helpful and supportive).

Me and DH had a dine in option for last night for valentine's day and opened a bottle of champagne that I bought for Christmas but never used. It was lovely but then dh went and opened the second bottle that was there when I was upstairs checking on the kids. I had no plans up open it so ended up with a sore head this morning 🙈

I've just started very necessary diet, and using a tracking app to keep within calorie limits (boring but it works for me). It is actually really helping with the drinking as trying to fit a glass of wine or two within the calorie limit for the day is quite challenging - even at the weekends when the limit goes up - so I now I have two reasons not to drink... I had a couple of glasses of wine on Monday when out with friends, then a g&t on Friday, followed by a bit of a bottle of wine later in the evening, and the rest of it yesterday. As long as I don't topple off the waggon tonight, I'll finish within my calorie limits for the week, and not feel too bad about the amount I've had to drink. Also really longing for warmer lighter evenings to potter in the garden in!