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Original poster

Parents of 3 kids… what’s it like?

28 replies

fortwilllliamm · 31/01/2025 13:24

Just asking as my heart I’ve always wanted 3. DH is on the fence.

our 2 are 4yo and 2yo. 2 weeks between birthdays so an exact 2yr age gap. First year was absoloute chaos I was depressed and so down it was tough because our eldest had a speech delay which caused more tantrums/meltdowns , and youngest was quite needy (don’t like the word but can’t think of another for it) wouldn’t even let anyone else hold her or she’d sob! Only me. She only let DH do more nearer 1 it was so hard!

I feel we’re in a bit of a rhythm now they’re older, and if I wanted another I’d want our youngest to be 3 onwards , so stil got time etc

but, what’s it like? I see mixed things. That the 3rd completed them, or that it’s so hard and awful 🫣

Be brutally honest whether that’s good or bad experience ! Haha

OP posts:
Cryingatthegym · 31/01/2025 13:26

My third completed me. But there's quite a big age gap between my first & the younger two, so it's probably a lot less intense than having 3 very small ones.

warmbath · 31/01/2025 13:28

I went for baby 3 when my children were the same age and was pregnant with twins! It was really hard work making sure I kept all 4 happy, and trying to give them 1:1 time, and money was tight, but my twins are so lovely now (11) which is a godsend now the older ones are moody teenagers and I am really glad how it all worked out. I worked throughout as needed to bring in money but only part time but not back to full time and am the main breadwinner. Good luck!

littleluncheon · 31/01/2025 13:28

Expensive chaos.
More chaos when they were little and more expensive now they're all school age.

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bigboots4 · 31/01/2025 13:46

Brilliant!
And hideous. Logistics are a step harder, holidays, larger car, more life admin, play dates, sports events etc. our first two are emotionally really close, only an 18 month gap. The younger is a bit spare, despite only two years between her and middle child. I don't regret it for a minute, but I do wonder if 4 might have made sense- but it didn't happen for us.

Original poster
fortwilllliamm · 31/01/2025 18:31

I’ve got time to think but it does cross my mind a bit. I feel the urge for a 3rd. Don’t feel fully complete ! But after how hard it was going 1-2 I wonder if it’s right

OP posts:
Devon1987 · 31/01/2025 18:41

Hectic but lovely, they all play together (and fight on occasion). It’s expensive but I don’t regret it. We use school inset days as 1-2-1 days just for that child. Also they get 1-2-1 time during swim lessons and at their clubs.

TomatoSandwiches · 31/01/2025 18:44

Our third was born with severe health issues and is significantly disabled.
We love them all obviously but I think even if our third didn't have the issues they have it would be too much still.
I would never recommend having a third child, sorry.

Justwingingit2005 · 31/01/2025 18:46

Three boys in 5 yrs. Older teens now.
It's great. I love my boys.
Was carnage during the early years but I love my boys. I was an only child, and I knew I wanted more kids.

Crunchymum · 31/01/2025 18:49

Our third DC is an absolute delight but they were born with a genetic condition, are disabled and will be unable to live independently. Not what we expected after two NT children.

DC3 is doing well, holding their own in mainstream school and we wouldn't be without them but you need to have a serious think about what happens if you 3rd DC isn't NT.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 31/01/2025 18:51

Number 3 completed our family, we would probably have had 4 if i didnt have a miscarriage between 1 and 2, when 2 was birn it felt like someone was missing but when we had 3 it didnt

3 years between 1 and 2 and 17 months between 2 and 3

i have loved every minute and i have three very close adult children now 😀

they used to follow me like little ducks when they were young…just found some old videos of them at 8 5 and 4 and by god they were loud!!!!

Anawi · 31/01/2025 18:55

Chaos at times but lovely and I wouldn't change it now 🥰 our three are 3 years and then 3.5 years apart. I would have found smaller age gaps hard personally. Although going back to baby days did feel a shock when our second was 3.5 and we were starting to get glimpses of more independence and easier times. Having our third, I felt instantly done in a way I never did when we had two even though we were happy with our two. Logically and financially we maybe should have stuck at two, not that we struggle, but I'm glad we didn't. I can't imagine life without her now number three is here ❤️

InMyMNEra · 31/01/2025 18:57

I love having 3, I adore my 3rd and don’t regret him for a second, but if I were to be brutally honest, I probably wouldn’t recommend 3 children. It’s very, very hard, and very expensive.

I think I’m in the minority because I found it got harder rather than easier, the older they got (all teens now). The logistics got easier, but their problems got bigger

SaltyPig · 31/01/2025 18:57

Cryingatthegym · 31/01/2025 13:26

My third completed me. But there's quite a big age gap between my first & the younger two, so it's probably a lot less intense than having 3 very small ones.

This. We had secondary infertility so ours are now 30,20&18. I wouldn't want three close together and probably wouldn't choose to have three today. Back then was so much cheaper.
It's so expensive now as they become teens. Three sets of driving lessons, college, uni, weddings and their children would be my considerations today.

Hankunamatata · 31/01/2025 18:58

Chaos. Two year gap between each one. Until I get them all into school it was very hard work. Some days I still don't feel there's enough of me to go around

Hankunamatata · 31/01/2025 18:59

InMyMNEra · 31/01/2025 18:57

I love having 3, I adore my 3rd and don’t regret him for a second, but if I were to be brutally honest, I probably wouldn’t recommend 3 children. It’s very, very hard, and very expensive.

I think I’m in the minority because I found it got harder rather than easier, the older they got (all teens now). The logistics got easier, but their problems got bigger

This. We have 3 in teen years and discovering whole new level of drama

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 31/01/2025 18:59

There is only 16 months between my 2nd and 3rd and just over 3 years between my 1st and 3rs so I had them very close together.

Having a 3rd was WAY easier than having my 2nd. She just slipped into the routine really well, even though she was a hard baby (nursed 2 hourly morning noon and night for 14 months) and she really did complete the family.

She's now 12yo and an absolute cracker!!

Mumofthree2024 · 31/01/2025 19:00

I adore my third, I’ve 2y between 1&2, 4y between 2&3. However she is significantly disabled, will need life long care and she has changed life hugely. I likely will not be able to work for the foreseeable future, if ever, and she likely won’t be able to attend mainstream education or live independently.
the impact of her existence has massively changed life for her siblings.

Snorlaxo · 31/01/2025 19:03

I have 3 with that age gap.

My youngest was difficult as a baby (allergies) but a really easy child in general (even as a teen with health issues) so while it was expensive (not current days expensive ), it wasn’t massively harder for me. The years until youngest started school were physically hardest especially as dc3 didn’t sleep well.

TartanCulshie · 31/01/2025 19:04

Love it!
Still new to it, have a 5yr old, 3 yr old and a 6 month old.
I'm one of 3 so to me it seemed the 'normal' amount. When I had 2 kids, and heard pregnancy announcements I was always a bit wistful. Now I've 3, when I hear an announcement I'm relieved I'm finished with that stage 😂

For me it was instinctive to have 3. My boyfriend had always said 2 and no more, but changed his mind when our second turned 2.

This is a good age gap as eldest is at school and middle has nursery 5 mornings so each morning is me and the wee one. I'd thought I'd want closer but this works well.

locomum83 · 31/01/2025 19:13

I have three 10, 7 and 4 and although the baby toddler years are hard, believe me it keeps getting harder. I might be attacked for saying this but I don't really care as it relates to my own experience, but had I of had a glimpse of what having three kids was like before it happened, then I wouldn't of had three kids.
I think it's doable depending on your situation, if you have a hands on partner to support you and happy to share the load then it could work well but in my case I don't, not a single parent but no help from Husband and mine are all ND too, as well as DH, interesting facet.
So in my opinion, 3 are a nightmare.

SabreToothTigerLilly · 31/01/2025 19:15

I loved having three little ones. When DD3 was born, her sisters were two and five. Three do keep you busy. especially when the 'D'H leaves for the OW just after the third is born, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

SaltyPig · 31/01/2025 19:23

I will say my third is my easiest. DD is incredibly self-motivated, independent and bright. All being well she will begin an integrated Masters in mathematical physics in September. She has been a breeze compared to her two DBs, who are ND.
I did get pissed off with people assuming we wanted a girl.

JaninaDuszejko · 31/01/2025 19:46

We had 3 under 5 for a bit but my second child was (and is) the easiest child and I found 1 to 2 a very easy step up. My first two are just 18 months apart, 1 school year, which has been great but we're now in the middle of 4 years of exams (GCSE x2 then A levels x2) which is hard going. But I love having three teenagers, they are such good company.

I knew as soon as our third was born that I was done and, I guess, 'felt complete'.

Chonkadoodle · 31/01/2025 19:51

Chaos but I adore them, I have three girls and I can't imagine my life without them all. My third completed us and gave me the confidence to divorce their father because she taught me that we all deserved better. It would be easier with a loving, devoted partner.

ohfook · 31/01/2025 20:27

I absolutely love it. All the cliches about our family feeling complete sum up completely how I feel and I love seeing my older two as big siblings.

But it's definitely one more kid than my dh can comfortably cope with (which I didn't see coming at all) and a lot of the hard things people mention are true - they just seem a lot less important when you're in the thick of it.