Sorry I won’t follow you back

[silvaplata]

… from a fully grown adult 😆

I recently attended a friend’s birthday which was an activity and then a dinner into the late hours. I could paired for the activity with someone new. Enjoyed spending time with them and thought maybe we’d invite her to one of our summer parties.

Towards the end of the night I asked her how we could stay in touch so she gave me her instagram handle. Turns out she is semi / influencer on there, maybe 10,000 followers and following 1,000. So I joked to her “oh look at you with all those followers… will you even follow me back” and she dead blank said “sorry no I’ve reached my follower capacity” … and she was serious! Wtf? An adult worrying about follower ratios? Get a grip

I’m not even that bothered about people following back but it felt a bit of an f you to actually say that to someone

You’re only allowed to follow 7,500 accounts on Instagram so it might be the truth!

I don’t know, she was just politely managing your expectations. Otherwise you might’ve thought she was snotty for not following you back.

Sounds like you both take it a bit too seriously but then I’m old.

Some people make money from social media. It's a business. Some people are working towards building their 'brand' so it's income generating. It's not my thing but I can't blame people. She was honest with you. It's no big deal.

So I joked to her “oh look at you with all those followers… will you even follow me back”

This is so cringey! Sorry OP but honestly. From an adult as well!

Cringey!

Surely that answer is good old-fashioned Facebook in those circumstances?

🤦🏻‍♀️

It really looks like you are bothered. A lot.

I intensely dislike social media. It really brings out this awful, ego driven side in some people.

People attach their actual worth as a human being to how many followers they have. And the term “influencer” just makes me want to puke.🙄

Since when did people get so shallow?

What happened to just swapping telephone numbers?!

The fact you asked if she’d ever follow you back (and then got so offended at her response that you started a thread on here) suggests that you also take the whole stupid thing pretty seriously. It’s childish and embarrassing on both your parts.

I know!

I have quite a few followers on my bookstagram (that's what the cool kids call it) but I'd never give that to someone so they can contact me. That's really weird to me.

It’s the ones who are all ‘Support me girlieeeeee’ that have thousand of followers and only follow 34 people that get me.

No I won’t be supporting a one sided twat.

How is 10k followers an influencer (misses point) I've got around 30k and definitely not an influencer 😂 just a hobby blog. I only follow people's feeds that I like or are close friends/relations. Just give out your phone number instead?

Phone numbers are for friends and family. Social media is for people you meet.

I’ll preface this by saying I don’t have instagram or FB so maybe I’m misunderstanding how it all works and being really old fashioned, but if you’ve asked her for a way to stay in touch and she’s just added you to a list of 10,000 people who she lets see her posts, and she’s told you that she isn’t interested in seeing your posts, then she isn’t seeing you as a potential new friend and doesn’t have any interest in getting to know you as a person. If she wanted to see you again, she’d have given you more access than simply making you follower 10,001.

I do have to agree with @AlisonDonut though. Your response was pretty cringey, and also quite needy. If I met someone who wanted me to give them any level of reassurance about my future engagement with them, it would make me feel very uncomfortable and I’d back right off. I think she’s been quite brave in being so honest with you; I would have just lied and then hidden from you forevermore.

But are considering inviting to your party? Sounds like you could exchange numbers in that case

Your completely bothered by it lol

Towards the end of the night I asked her how we could stay in touch so she gave me her instagram handle.

This was a polite “err, it’s been a nice day and all but I’m not fussed about staying in touch”

I think you may be a little over-engaged with this. When you say "An adult worrying about follower ratios? Get a grip" could you not apply the same thought to your concerns about her comment, and her not following you back?

Most social events here are arranged via social media, not telephone number.

The op was wanting to invite a friend of friend ( I think? "I could paired with someone new") maybe the new person wasn't as into the idea as Silva was about creating a new friendship; so gave her 'socials' to be polite in that moment .

Which you need for WhatsApp.

It was rather strange...
Then again, I am older and would never consider asking for social media contact details because I don't see the need to boost someone's ego by sticking hearts next to their photo, or being 'devastated' if they didn't heart something I posted...far too exhausting!
If I want to be friends, I look for stuff to do IRL!

It sounds like she was making it clear that your had a nice chat but you're not going to be friends from here.