Sorry I won’t follow you back

[silvaplata]

… from a fully grown adult 😆

I recently attended a friend’s birthday which was an activity and then a dinner into the late hours. I could paired for the activity with someone new. Enjoyed spending time with them and thought maybe we’d invite her to one of our summer parties.

Towards the end of the night I asked her how we could stay in touch so she gave me her instagram handle. Turns out she is semi / influencer on there, maybe 10,000 followers and following 1,000. So I joked to her “oh look at you with all those followers… will you even follow me back” and she dead blank said “sorry no I’ve reached my follower capacity” … and she was serious! Wtf? An adult worrying about follower ratios? Get a grip

I’m not even that bothered about people following back but it felt a bit of an f you to actually say that to someone

Please tell me that you are joking?!

@TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll That's how lots of people see meeting someone new. Some do it for self valuation , some being 'polite' in the moment as @JustAskingThisQ said nice to meet but not wanting a friendship particularly, a modern version of "we must do coffee".
Personally I don't have social media ( only here) so if I wasn't bothered about pursuing the friendship I just wouldn't offer my phone number (politely).

How is her response the issue? You started out being cringey.

It's a polite way of not rejecting all interactions with a person, but keeping it at saying hi in public.

Yes cringey.

I said, social media not WhatsApp

LOL this is really bothering you isn't it @silvaplata Why?!

As some other posters have said, it has clearly bothered you, for you to start a thread about it. I mean, an adult starting a thread about an influencer saying she probably won't follow her back on Instagram. REEEALLY?!

😆

AlbertCamusflage · Yesterday 13:13

I think you may be a little over-engaged with this. When you say "An adult worrying about follower ratios? Get a grip" could you not apply the same thought to your concerns about her comment, and her not following you back?

This. ^

I don't think this thread is going the way you expected is it @silvaplata ?

😬

When you're running a business social media account follower ratio does matter. Her ratio of 10k to 1k is already tòo high.

Also, I give my business social media details to people when I don't want a personal relationship with them. If I want to become friendly I'd give my phone number.

I think OP thought they had a real and personal connection that should be elevated above the online relationship she has with her followers.

I don't think she was worried about her following list, she probably just didn't really click with you and doesn't want to communicate with you.

If she did she would have asked to swap numbers instead.

Perfectly reasonable thing for her to say. The account is her job and there are follower ratios that matter if you're running an account as an influencer. People talk about influencers as if it's just fluffy nonsense, but it's not - it's essentially a marketing job and if she takes it seriously then she'll need to keep tabs on things like that.

You asked to follow her and then you brought up her follower numbers and hinted about being followed back. You're the one that's being immature about this, not her.

I think she's just not that bothered about staying in touch but trying to be polite about it. It may well not be personal, she might have a really busy life and lots of friends already and not need to add anyone else to the mix, I feel like that sometimes as I do a lot of volunteering and meet lots of people, while I often get on well with the people I meet that way, for the most part I'd rather they stayed at the "say hello and maybe stop for a quick chat in the street" level rather than progressing to "we should go for coffee" because I already have closer friends that I prioritise for spending time with. It's not a hard and fast thing but there are times (like now) where there is just too much going on in my life for new friendships.

Yes your "joke" about insinuating she's too successful to follow you was extremely cringy and her response was not unreasonable. You clearly think that influencer is not a real job as you're openly mocking grown adults caring about follower numbers on MN now. For a huge number of adults, social media is a job and curating the account is part of their business. It's an integral part of the marketing and advertising industry.

Even if she's only doing it as a hobby right now, she might have a dream of turning it into a career someday and your comment was very thinly veiled mockery about her hopes and ambitions. Nobody likes meeting a near stranger who talks like that so she probably doesn't want to attend your summer party anyway.

So you're an influencer. That's what bloggers are called nowadays! You may not like being called an influencer but that's exactly what the younger generation are calling you!

Yes there's a follower ratio that with effect how much an influencer gets paid for things. A 10% follower to following ratio is actually quite high, in my experience most companies like a 2-5% ratio, because that means people aren't just doing follow backs to follow you.
It's why a lot of influencers have secondary private accounts where they share more personal things with actual friends and family.

She's a weirdo. Who knows 1000 people anyway?! Why would you be following 1000 people?!
Sounds like her Instagram is a big part of her personality and makes her feel superior to be honest. 10k isn't an influencer.
Don't follow her

Towards the end of the night I asked her how we could stay in touch so she gave me her instagram handle.

This was a nice way of her saying that she doesn't really want to stay in touch. It's her Instagram handle - so you can follow her. If she'd wanted chats, she'd have given you her number.

I'm sorry, OP, I can imagine her reply stung a little; but she probably felt the conversation had put her in a bit of a corner and there was no nice way out!

If you’re not bothered, then why take the time to rant about it on here? Equally cringey! 😬

Yes, but she was asked how we can stay in touch and gave her insta details. That’s not staying in touch, it’s just harvesting another follower!

She didn’t asked to follow her though! She suggested staying in touch, with a view to inviting her to a forthcoming party. She was then just given her Insta handle