Thinking back to when life was easier .. 1994 ..

[warmandsoothing]

I was 17. I had an older boyfriend who had a car and a mobile phone. I lived at home and I thought I had it all back then. The phone was one of the new smaller ones (but looking back now, it was still brick-like !). He got me into pubs and clubs, Life was one long party of getting ready, going out, weekend days spent in the pub, great times in pubs gardens during the summer (1994 was a hot summer). The pubs were always full at the weekends. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I was so young and so very slim. No body hang ups. Zero responsibilities. Parents still working and very well health wise. My sister was still alive.

Now - I have a hell of a lot of responsibilities. Working FT with a large team who I manage. Running a house. If I don't get the DC up for school then no one will. With DH I make DC dinner, take them to school/clubs/mates/appointments, washing for all 5 of us, organising weekly food shops & food meal planning. If I (and DH) don't work then there is no money for any of us. Trying to find enough time for DH/DC/friends/family/my hobbies/down time while also working and managing the house. Never-ending home to-do list. The more I work through it, the more gets added to it. No longer as slim (or young), huge body hang-ups (some might say body dysmorphia), constantly comparing myself to everyone else/beating myself up. My sister died many years ago My parents are getting old and have health issues.

Oh to be back in 1994 again. I close my eyes and I can sometimes smell the good old times again. Life these days is a hell of a lot harder, faster, busier and full on with a feeling of constantly being available through my phone and on the go.

Aw bless you. Being a middle-aged woman is definitely not easy. I was fat then and my parents didn’t love me in the 90s either so, weirdly, my life is actually better in my fifties than it was then. Now I have a husband and kids who love me and at least my house is warm (unlike the heatless, freezing flat I live in from 1989 - 1993).

It was simpler, more affordable, people used to go out more and were a bit more sociable. People just used to meet and go out instead of having to plan and book somewhere, sometimes well in advance.

I enjoyed visiting London more then. Covent Garden with the Banana bookshop and feminist bookshops, Food for Thought vegetarian cafe, the crocs and bead shop. The Tea House on the alley. London's quirkiness has almost gone now and has chain stores everywhere.

I’m sorry OP I was 11 in 1994 and feel similar to you, life then was coming home from school and watching TV, going to the park with my friends and spending pocket money on novelty sweets in Woolworths.

Now it’s ageing parents, work shite, worrying if the kids have enough friends, am I sorting enough playdates, the shower needs re-sealed, the car needs serviced, the dog isn’t well…..and on and on and on.

I often dream of when life was simpler.

I feel the same about 1974, OP.

It's called "being young".

Hopefully you are giving your kids that same carefree youth, it’s their turn now.

We're the same age OP. 1995 was for me like you describe 1994. Hot summer, parties, friends and fun. No adulting. When you get your Time Machine make sure you pick me up before you go!

really sorry to hear that @Cluborange666 . Good to hear things are now better for you.

@JaneBoleynViscountessRochford Now it’s ageing parents, work shite, worrying if the kids have enough friends, am I sorting enough playdates, the shower needs re-sealed, the car needs serviced, the dog isn’t well…..and on and on and on TOTALLY THIS.

I cling to the (now very distant) memories of a much simpler life. Back when things were easier, cheaper, more readily available, less pressures, people were more social and as @allaloneandlost says. These days the local pubs & restaurants are almost deserted on a weekend eve. They used to be thriving. And everything, everything, is so very expensive now. Everything has to be bigger and better. At 17 I had no job or car but I had loads of fun. At 19 I worked FT and took home £600 a month. I brought a car on this and went out loads.

The good old times have very much long gone. I feel so sad.

@frozendaisy MY DC have everything I can give/offer them to make sure they have the bestest time of their lives, like I did. whatever their 'bestest times' might look like.

@DrCoconut I got ya, you are first on my pick up list.

I turned 15 in the summer of 94. Got back with my boyfriend who I went out with for another 3 years. It was really hot and it was just a brilliant time, going to teen discos, parties, hanging out in the sun. Life was so good!

I, also, was fatter then than now. And depressed, with undiagnosed autism. I'm happier in myself now than I was in 1994 (we're of a similar age) - but yes, life has got tougher.

I don't think it's just our age though- when I was in my 20s I lived in either cheap rented accommodation (so, so, SO much cheaper than now!!) or squats in London, and attended university for free (I was the last year to be eligible for a grant). London was absolutely buzzing with creativity, with a great DIY culture in the squatting scene. It seems very expensive, shiny and bland nowadays, and I don't really enjoy going back.

1994 was my peak year too. Life was fun, it felt like there was a point to it, friendships were everything. I felt important, appreciated, loved. I knew who I was - the music I was into was a big part of my identity, I was confident and purposeful. I had a job so I could afford the clothes I wanted, the lifestyle I wanted. I paid a small amount of rent to my folks but still had so much disposable income.

I feel like I have literally none of that now. No money, no fun, I'm not important or loved. It's all drudgery and duty.

I was never tired in the 90s. I'm tired all the time now.

I was only early 20’s then but the whole rave thing passed me by.
I was in a good graduate job, back home with my parents saving for a house deposit which was the sun total of £3000! Had a little Renault Clio which I loved.
Style - it had become more relaxed, used to love a trip to Oasis, Warehouse and Kookai.
Used to do a bit of bar work here and there on top of my job for extra money, the tips were good, paid for holidays.
No mobile phone at that point and I’m glad. You went out and got on with life.
One of my closest friends lived in London and had a really good job in the media. I used to get the train down every few weeks, I would save up and take my best clothes. Loved a night out there, used to go to Camden Lock and Covent Garden, she used to take me to whatever place was ‘in’ she was always on a guest list. I used to just walk behind, thinking, I’ve only got a tenner left!!! People and celeb watching.
I can remember every lad I knew read Loaded, it was the start of that culture, which wasn’t really me but it was fine.
I do remember having the Big Breakfast on when I was getting ready of a morning, then Chris Evans on Radio 1 as I drive to work.
Happy days!

Shame so many of you are overwhelmed. Yes things catch up with you but society's more complicated now and less spontaneous fun. Services have been cut and are more complex, people are more isolated. London was far more quirky and creative. There's still plenty to do but it is bland, business like, too commercial and far too expensive. The music, TV, films and clothes were better quality and far more interesting. More individuality. Yet in an age of more technology and diversity than ever, most people are clones.

I have that feeling too. Constant to do lists, busy all the time, the daily grind. I miss simpler times.

Oh, something else. When I was 16 (so, 1990) I just took off for Europe. Travelled around for 6 months, doing things like picking oranges to earn money. Our kids won't be able to do that, will they?

Your parents probably felt somewhat like you do in around 1990 with teenage children, jobs, and probably ageing parents! It's life stages in part. Although I do think many things in 1990-2005 were just objectively better.

If I (and DH) don't work then there is no money for any of us.

And? What an odd thing to say. Surely at 17 even you had some recognition that you were going to have to grow up and work for most of your life as you spent your days drinking in sunny pub gardens.

Nah, post 97 was the best bit. Everyone was so optimistic - after the Thatcher years and the Tory Sleaze stuff it felt a fresh and hopeful start.

@JohnWickAteMyHamster it was sooooo much fun. Now the fun has been replaced with never-ending drudgery of chores, responsibilities, weekly food shops, house work, laundry, planning, managing money & worrying how to afford everything, trying to lose weight (something I never had to do when I was younger), house/car repairs, finding time for everything and everyone and working all the hours because employers in general now expect a hell of a lot more from their staff due to staffing cuts & saving costs.

@LindorDoubleChoc at 17 I never knew what I wanted to do for a career long term, I never imagined I would have a house and a family and need a decent career to pay for it all. I never thought long term at that age. I was having too much fun to worry about all that.

Hmmm I was an adult, married with one child and pregnant with the second in 1994. The 90s were simpler times in some ways but they were also hard financially. I remember interest rates rising dramatically, friends losing their properties, redundancies a constant fear, life didn’t feel terribly secure. And as a working parent it was just as exhausting!

I was also 17 but going through a difficult time as parents divorced, mum had a breakdown and was sectioned and kicked dad out, did manage to escape on a full grant to university but was diagnosed with depression and prescribed prozac (which was just coming out)

It wasn't all joyful. Not for all of us anyway.

Yes, absolutely 1994 was my favourite year. I was 20 and having a ball. I felt so alive, friends, college, very little money but it didn't seem to matter.

Can I be 2nd on the pick-up?

What has helped me is mindfulness and meditation. I have only been doing it for a few months but it has really helped.

You have to stay in the present and pay close attention to the task you are doing and do it well. Try to not think about the past or the future in these moments. Anyway have a look :)

Also I think we do have choices, you chose OP the family, big job etc etc you could have just run off and I don't know, been an artist or joined a commune or something. It annoys me a bit people moaning when they did make those choices.

I have the opposite experience of this, I much prefer my life now, I am 55. I’ve never really looked back as certain times and thought damn that was good, so far life has been getting better as it progresses.