Thinking back to when life was easier .. 1994 ..

[warmandsoothing]

I was 17. I had an older boyfriend who had a car and a mobile phone. I lived at home and I thought I had it all back then. The phone was one of the new smaller ones (but looking back now, it was still brick-like !). He got me into pubs and clubs, Life was one long party of getting ready, going out, weekend days spent in the pub, great times in pubs gardens during the summer (1994 was a hot summer). The pubs were always full at the weekends. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I was so young and so very slim. No body hang ups. Zero responsibilities. Parents still working and very well health wise. My sister was still alive.

Now - I have a hell of a lot of responsibilities. Working FT with a large team who I manage. Running a house. If I don't get the DC up for school then no one will. With DH I make DC dinner, take them to school/clubs/mates/appointments, washing for all 5 of us, organising weekly food shops & food meal planning. If I (and DH) don't work then there is no money for any of us. Trying to find enough time for DH/DC/friends/family/my hobbies/down time while also working and managing the house. Never-ending home to-do list. The more I work through it, the more gets added to it. No longer as slim (or young), huge body hang-ups (some might say body dysmorphia), constantly comparing myself to everyone else/beating myself up. My sister died many years ago My parents are getting old and have health issues.

Oh to be back in 1994 again. I close my eyes and I can sometimes smell the good old times again. Life these days is a hell of a lot harder, faster, busier and full on with a feeling of constantly being available through my phone and on the go.

I prefer now over 1994. I have a car so I can go where I like when I like, a house with no other humans in it, and an autism diagnosis so that I understand myself and can request reasonable adjustments. If I don't want to use the internet, I logout out of the computer.

Sure, I don't like going to work. But I didn't like going to school, and at least I get paid now.

I hated being young. Being an adult rules!

Actually thinking about it, I do prefer NOW I am content but I did feel like this for a few years.

Well, yes, but in the 80s/90s our parents were going through what we are going through now, I was a bit older (mid 20s) but my parents had full on careers, elderly parents living a long distance away, all the housework and admin, teen/young adult children to worry about, all the things. And stuff had to be done on the phone (endless long calls getting car insurance quotes) or in person, there was no online food shopping and supermarkets closed at 5.30 or maybe 8 on Fridays, limited Sunday opening. I have friends who had massive negative equity on their first homes in the 90s that took years and years to recover from, there were spells with lots of redundancies and high unemployment.

I was in an abusive marriage and couldn’t, in 1994, see a way out. I was firefighting every day to keep my husband away from my work and friends ( what friends I had left, I realise now how far they’d diminished) trying to protect finances, walking carefully on those eggshells to avoid his drunken explosions and threats.
Took another year to plan my way out, a false start, one step forward and two back. But then I was gone. Never looked back.
If anyone is in a similar situation please get help and support to get to a safe place.

No doubt it was better, people not fixed to their phones, social media.

I miss those days, but you can’t ignore it really as you’ll be left behind. Keeps me busy as 3am when I can’t sleep lol

I also have the opposite experiences. 1994/5, I was deeply depressed, anorexic, everyone hated me (undiagnosed autism /adhd), I was stressed to the max by exams and wondering how long I could possibly keep it all up when I was so exhausted. Trying to fit in with other young people was soul destroying, and the adults didn’t like me much either.

There are pressures and stresses now, sure. But I have wonderful young people of my own , with their own needs but I’m so so proud of them and they are bloody lovely company most of the time. I have a few friends who accept and even like who I am. I’m independent and answer to nobody. And I like who I am. My life is the best it’s ever been. I wouldn’t go back to being younger if you gave me a million pounds.

I think it was just your age and life stage OP. I was 33 in 94, had just given birth to my fourth child, been moved hundreds of miles for my XHs job, away from my friends, family and support network. So I was left alone in a house in the middle of nowhere, knowing nobody, with four children under 6. We had money, but I had no freedom, and I also had undiagnosed PPD, which was hardly surprising really.

I prefer my life now.

@warmandsoothing can I come too please? I know almost everyone says it about the era they grew up in but everything really was better then. Better music, fashion, telly, magazines and no social medial or 24 hour news to crush your soul.

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta you are also on the pick up list. The time machine has good seating capacity and stops at various years

Ah 2004 aka age 14- probably listening to ace of base and spice girls- all relatives still with us, parents young, db not yet showing signs of stress that lead to autism diagnosis, noooo responsibilities at all!!! Fab times (but love my kids- have to say that!)

And the magazines!!!

It was a mixed bag for me. I was at a very competitive high school and had to commute daily and I had a lot of tests and general study/homework. I woke up at 6am and had to catch a train to another city, then a bus... then came back home by 3-4. I remember MTV and "Pump my ride" or the "Room inspectors" or something like that when a girl inspected a boy's room with an ultraviolet flashlight and then chose with whom she wanted to go on a date. Looking back at this, it was so cute and innocent! There was no social media and no phone, so all we had was TV and music channels. Music was a big thing and many people in my class were goths, listening to The Cure and Nirvana. Also, the teen magazines were a thing. Everybody wanted a poster with Backstreet Boys, etc. No dating allowed. I broke free only when I went to live and study in Spain in the mid 2000s and it was as if I found myself in a paradise!!!

2004 for me, but many of the same sentiments. I was 20 and could live on the income from my student loan and part time job, spent my days studying and having fun.

fast forward 20 years and I am overweight, divorced, getting absolutely choked by cost of living/price rises, knackered from parenting, stressing about grown-up things like elderly parents and getting the roof replaced, and my first night out in forever got cancelled because of the storm last week 😭

But: nostalgia is not always as good as it seems…

Hahah @Butterfly123456 " pump my ride" was on a different channel 😂

Can it go back to 1970?

In 1994, I was working full-time in HIV/Aids, and alongside my lovely clients being ill and dying, so were several of my colleagues and so many of my friends. I had two teenage kids, about to start their sex lives in an area of very high HIV prevalence...

It was not a carefree fun time for me.

1974 was bloody great, though!

Thank you OP 🤗. Hope the time machine also provides snacks for each decade. What I wouldn't give for a Cadbury Fuse and a packet of Opal Fruits.

1994 I was 12
All my family were still alive
Was working two jobs then and attending school
Did really well in all subjects
Some nice friends
No anxiety
Slim
Never put weight on

Now
Well most of my family are dead
Live in a lovely home
Great job
Earn 120k a year
Two lovely kids
Great support from sister
Trying to shift 3.5 stone

Lucky and very unlucky I guess

I have great memories of being a teenager in the mid 90's. My children sometimes say they wish they could go back in time 30 years!

It was well more sociable. No mobiles, actually going out to see friends, no one was stuck to their phone. There was some great music about too. If you wanted to meet someone to date you could actually meet many people in person.

After school, College & University education was free. I first went to FE, on a 2 year course where they found work experience for you too. It was a 1950's building that in recent years has been demolished and rebuilt. We weren't allowed to wear jeans! Could in University though. Just living expenses and books to pay for. Now, as well as having to pay, many courses don't exist.

Adulthood is overrated and a bit of a trap, I sometimes think.

@warmandsoothing - Please pick me up too in your time machine! 1994 was the best year of my life! I was 15, my parents were still alive, I had (albeit quirky) friends and the world seemed to be full of endless possibilities.

I met my first boyfriend in the summer of 1994. My parents wouldn't let me date, so it was a love affair conducted via handwritten letters in the post - so beautiful, forbidden and innocent! When we did date, it was a shit show - hence, 1995 to 1998 being my worst years!

But the summer of 1994, I will always remember fondly - listening to Aaliyah, TLC, Ace of Base... reading Point Horror books... watching Beverly Hills 90210 and Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Even though I love my DH and kids, life feels like constant drudgery now.

@CrawlingFromShitshowToAfterglow welcome aboard the time machine !

Its all total drudgery these days.

You were young OP.

Negative equity was a major thing.
Child care was paid out of your taxed income, it really did cost more to work.

Mobile in 94.

Fuck me you were rich and spoilt.

I had one age 18 in 96 and no fucker else did... And that was early.

@RedToothBrush not my mobile ! smaller mobiles had just come out, but they were still brick like. My bf had one. It was his works. No one else really had one, nobody called his phone as too expensive to call it. If you called and couldn't get through then you got a recorded message from the phone network saying something like 'the phone could not be connected'. Unbeknown to me, you had to pay for these recorded messages at something like 50p a time. I rang it - or tried to ring it - hundreds of times in a quarter. The BT phone bill was £££££ which my poor parents had to pay and where very angry at. I later paid them back when I had a FT job.