I have a crush on work colleague!

[Kruscro]

I have been in this job nearly 3 years and I have developed a ridiculous crush on my colleague. I have never felt like this about him at all before and in fact for the first 18m I barely spoke to him! He works in another team so I don't really need to interact with him at all when in the office.

The interaction with him is on Teams daily. We chat every single day about all sorts and have a laugh. Ordinarily, I wouldn't find him attractive at all but he's very likable as he's very funny. Always lightens the mood.

I know I need to nip this in the bud. He's taking up too much of my headspace! I know I need to stop chatting to him on teams but I can't go completely cold turkey and stop chatting. Do you think reducing it will help. I've even tried focussing on his bad qualities but thats not working!

Anyone else been in a similar situation. What did you do?

It depends on the circs. Are you married? Is he!? I'm sure it happens A LOT and this isn't unusual! So don't worry too much.

I love this kind of chat 🥰

Why do you need to nip it in the bud, op?

I need to nip it in the bud because it's weird. I keep thinking about him. don't think he's interested in me like that but then again I'm terrible at stuff like this.

We are both single. We never talk about relationships or anything. In fact all our chats are just banter.

Most guys dont banter platonically. There is no one as mute and deaf as a disinterested man.

Ain't that the truth!

Op, see if you can take it to s slightly flirty place? Or start speaking about single life and see if his ears prick up

Really? No, I've found banter a normal part of working with ppl!

Ok I am clueless with men. I have only ever dated one man as an adult. I met my exdh when I was 20 and had been together 18 years. Things sort of just fizzled out and we have a good co parenting relationship.

So what cues mean he likes me likes me or just friend likes me?!

Does he touch your arms or anything like that

Whats the eye contact like

Does he laugh at your jokes/comments that aren't really funny?

I think you should wear something sexier than usual tomorrow, or whenever, and see whether he notices

I will say that I am chronically single though 😅

@mumofoneAlonebutokay love your username! 😆

Well now that you mention it, if he catches my gaze when walking past, he does this thing with his eyes and a cheeky grin. We normally just laugh / say something cheeky. I don't think he does this with anyone else. 🤔

I started this thread to get myself out of this crush, not indulge it! 🤣

Anyone else been in a similar situation. What did you do?

Married him.

Offs! What the hell has happened to Mumsnet?

What's the thing with his eyes?

I would embrace it. You don’t have to date or go for a drink but having a bit of ‘bants’ with a guy you quite fancy is harmless, it makes it worth going to work. Just go with the flow.

Start making it mildly flirty, see how he responds. In my experience most men have at least thought about it with most women they have banter with. He probably thinks you aren't an option. Have you dropped in a comment about the fact that you're single at all? Or even asked him if he is?

First I'd ask myself - is he actually someone I find attractive? Or is it the classic office thing that they're attractive for the office space you work in? Like the cheerleader effect!

Hmm I guess when you put it like that. He's not really my type. He's also ten years older than me which isn't really a problem but sometimes I cannot relate to some stuff he talk about!

Just make sure you know your works policy for teams use and data retention.

If you are found to be wasting company time on idle chit chat you could end up with no job. Also if you or him say something more than idle chit chat that information could be stored and looked at in the future.

Why don't you suggest you go for after work drink and see what happens. When on your own in a social setting things may be different towards you.... May fuel the crush or put a dampener on it.

Hehe same!! 😁

Omg nothing wrong if u are both single
He is not your type but it hasn't worked out with "your type" before hence being single.
Embrace the butterflies
Go with it
Enjoy the natural connection you seem to have
LIFE IS TOO SHORT

A friend of mine now lives with and has a baby with someone she had a crush on at work. Seems like you have a connection. You’re both single, so enjoy it!

Is this the eye thing? 😉